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Tuesday, March 07, 2006

On Combat Boot Enemas, Poor Manners & The Outsiders

Although I remain more than pleased with the results from last nights world-class double episode, a few clarifications, questions and observations are in order.
  • Contrary to popular opinion, Edgar did not die from inhalation of nerve gas as was originally thought. An autopsy that occurred just after the previews for next weeks episode clearly indicated what many of us were predicting since Edgar (or as our Latin American fans call him, "La Trufalla Shuffala Grande") first waddled onto the CTU scene and into our hearts: massive coronary. My sources tell me that at the time of his death Edgar had a blood gravy level of over 400 mg/dl, indicating that he may in fact have died sometime near the end of last weeks episode.
  • Although Jack did shoot Robocop's wife in part to get him to talk, I feel that his true motivation for the shooting was his anger at her not offering him a cool, refreshing beverage upon entering the house. I could be wrong, but I think she might have been able to save herself a bullet-wound above the knee.
  • As an Italian-American I am torn on one particular plotline from the show. On the one hand, I am thrilled to see someone of Italian descent portraying the President of the United States. However, did they have to choose Fredo Corleone? I strongly believe that he has never full recovered what little manhood he had after the emasculating dance floor incident in Godfather II.
  • I'm pretty sure Kim's new boyfriend killed a few Soc's in his younger days as a Greaser, so he has some street-cred. However, I am equally as sure that, (unless he is some sicko perv who is hankering for a combat boot enema), he doesn't really want any piece of Jack.
  • Dear lord almighty I hope there is an all-you-can-eat-buffet in CTU heaven. For Edgars sake.

9 comments:

El Ricko said...

Surely the sweetest of CTU afterlives awaits Edgar, which means he'll be served potatoes o'brien by Chloe O'Brian for all eternity...

Sweet Truffle Shuffle bliss.

The Conservative UAW Guy said...

RIP Truffle Shuffle...
*sniff*

The Hort said...

I miss Truffle Shuffle. It's a dark day for 24 fans.

Buckley F. Williams said...

I feel bad for the pall bearers.

Little Miss Chatterbox said...

I'm glad somebody else recognized C.Thomas Howell as greaser ponyboy. I loved "The Outsiders"!!!

Justin said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Vinnie said...

Hey, what's with the Ponyboy reference.

The boy did kick some Commie ass in Red Dawn, yanno.

Buckley F. Williams said...

"The boy did kick some Commie ass in Red Dawn, yanno."

Valid point Vinnie. However that was in a battlefield setting.

He is unproven with regard to maneuvering through air conditioning ducts, hand to hand fighting in stairwells and coming back from the dead.

I am not saying that he is not a tough guy. I am saying he is not Jack Bauer tough.

Little Miss Chatterbox said...

I'm not a Red Dawn fan so I didn't remember that.

Ofcourse he's not Jack Bauer tough, no one else is :-).