Saturday, September 02, 2006

Top Ten Questions Asked Of CTU Applicants

10. Have you ever been convicted of a felony in the United States?
9. Would you accept a position with CTU Security? We have several openings.
8. Are you offended by gratuitous torture?
7. Do you have a list of references?
6. Do you think it is morally wrong to impale a terrorist?
5. Do you have morals?
4. How many assault weapons do you currently own?
3. Are you now or have you ever been a mole?
2. Is love the answer? (Trick hippie question.)

And the number one question asked of CTU applicants is . . .

1. How long does it take you to dismember a body, and can we time you here?

1 comment:

The Man said...

I guess asking if you would kick it with Chloe would fall under #5?