Bauer Concedes Senate Race, Heads to Mexico
With 99% of precincts reporting, we are sad to report that Jack Bauer will not represent New York in the US Senate. Unless the 1% of precincts includes about 2,787,165 people loyal to Jack Bauer, the fight is over for now.
Jack Bauer mailed Clinton his gun and CTU badge as a sign of concession and headed to Mexico with only his manpurse and aviators.
Bauer campaign manager, Tony Almedia called for a recount, but Chloe told him to "stop being so stupid" and told Jack that the fight was indeed over. Bauer's campaign was hurt by moles inside the campaign, terrorists, and his daughter.
There are rumors that Jack Bauer will run for president in 2008, but we all know that he doesn't have time to for rumors.