Carnival of Bauer








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Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Counterpoint: Without Jack Bauer, the only cup you'd be drinking from is between your legs!
- by Peter Gammons

What can I say about Jimmy's Seaside Co-Ed Softball team? Sure, they are located in Queens - which by my recollection is about 100 miles from any "seaside," but they were good enough to win the 2006 championship. 34-0 is nothing to sneeze at. But Jimmy "Da Hammer" Lopez is must have suffered an aneurysm if he thinks they could have done it without Jack "The Bat" Bauer.

His stats are exceptional: .865 batting average, 39 Homeruns, and 123 Runs driven in. His leadership skills are beyond reproach. He is truly the MVP. Sure, Jack has fractured an occasional rule now and then - the piano cord incident in game three comes to mind - but it is nothing that should warrant his dismissal. Hell, Barry Bonds gives MLB "the bird" on a daily basis - everyone knows he's juicing - and yet he still plays on.

Look Jimmy, Jack Bauer carried the jocks of you and your teammates through 34 games. The least he should expect is some common courtesy. In a perfect world, your teammates would torture a runner or two to eek out a win.

Point: Bauer, You're Out!
by Jimmy "Da Hammer" Lopez

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

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Buckaroo Banzai said...

With the amount of traffic we get here at B4B, how is it that no one has begun thrashing the above listed comment?

Is EVERYONE down the shore for the weekend?

Anonymous said...

Jack would find "anonymous" and strangle them with the bracelets. That is what Jack would do.