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Thursday, May 10, 2007

24 Point/Counterpoint

Point: Where's my silent clock?
by Milo Pressman

Teri Bauer, Edgar Stiles, George Mason, David Palmer, and Ryan Chappelle. What do I NOT have in common with these people? These unimportant people all got silent clocks. I got shot twice today and all I got was this lousy CTU t-shirt. Where's my silent clock?

Let's review, I got shot in the freaking head defending CTU from Chinese terrorists. Bald headed mofo Ryan Chappelle got shot in the head by Jack Bauer. He got a silent clock. I didn't.

Teri Bauer gave birth to Kim Bauer, I'll give her that. But, she sure didn't keep Jack happy, just ask Marilyn and her love child, Josh. She got a silent clock, I didn't.

George Mason flew an airplane into the ground. Come on! It's called gravity, you shouldn't get a silent clock just for not flying. Plus he turned CTU over to Tony, a crackhead. Mason got a silent clock, I didn't.

Edgar Stiles. Enough said. Fat boy got a silent clock that weighed 200 pounds, I didn't.

David Palmer got one....AND HE WASN'T EVEN DEAD! Palmer got a silent clock and returned the next season, I didn't and won't.

It seems like the committee who gives out silent clocks may question where I was for the past seven years. Sure I was at CTU-LA for Day One only to disappear until Day Six, I was transferred to CTU-Denver. You know what happened in Denver, nothing. Denver was really, really boring. The most excitement we had was when Doyle got drunk at a Broncos game and called in a bomb threat.

Excuses are like tactical teams, everyone has one to spare. The facts are that I died protecting CTU. I took a bullet for Marilyn Bauer. I got Nadia to smile. And I deserve a silent clock.

Counterpoint: BRAINNNNS!!!
by Zombie Edgar Stiles

13 comments:

Sally said...

Milo almost convinces me...close...but no cigar.

Er, silent clock.

SusanT said...

if michelle doesn't get a silent clock then neither does milo!

Claire said...

Damn straight, SusanT. Good-bye, Milo. Sorry you didn't get past first base with Nadia.

Johnny Park said...

Milo can get a silent clock when Dwight Schrute gets a Counterpoint.

Jack Bauer said...

Dwight has his counter.

Click here to view it.

Greg said...

I hate to break this to ya, Milo, but you weren't shot in the head while defending CTU. You were shot in the head trying to be the "hero", and sadly, there's only one hero at CTU. NO, I don't mean Doyle, I'm talking about our fair Jack Bauer.

Jack, with his long, flowing hair, his long-sleeve thermal underwear to cover the tattoos. The nondescript manpurse. The inimitable whisper.

You, Milo Pressman, were no Jack Bauer. You're just dead.

Little Ricky said...

Oh yeah Nadia is all mine now.

AmyV said...

Milo sure had a problem being silent when he was alive. Why should he get the silent clock treatment. Feh.

Yeah Him said...

If all of those random agents that get shot while rushing into vicious scenes with Jack only to get killed with bullets that could have been meant for him don't get silent clocks, neither does Milo.

Besides, trying to win bonus points to get back with Nadia after failing miseribly with Chloe... well, that's just wrong.

Anonymous said...

sorry milo, guess I'll be consoling nadia when this day ends.
And you know what I did to you in Denver, I have the pictures.

You're my BBF
Doyle

BBF=buttboy forever

yankz said...

It's already been said. If Michelle doesn't get one, this son of a bitch certainly doesn't. Case closed.

Nadia should get a silent clock. A time bomb was inserted in her mouth when Milo rape kissed her. It's only a matter of time till she bites the dust.

Palm boy said...

Why didn't Tony get a silent clock??
He was far more deserving then Milo.

Give it to'em both

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