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Monday, May 14, 2007

Liveblogging 3-4am



If Jack Bauer was on HEROs what would his power be? Discuss.

Remember, I did not see 24 last week so some of these subplots are new to me.

The following WILL take place between 3-4AM
-Jack will kick some ass - Check
-Jack will find out Josh is his son.

3:05AM - CTU erupts in gunfire. The producers of 24 look at their watches and wonder why there is action 40 minutes earlier than usual.

Jack with a gun (x2)
Jack with the strap of a gun. (2 Points)

Commercial Break
Jack Bauer on The Simpsons next week!

3:14AM
-Worst grandparent ever. "Imagine how much Sesame Chicken we can eat"

More shooting, is this 24?

Jack with a gun (x2)
(x3)


It's over Chang, Jack means it Dammit.

For all that Jack Bauer does, you would think he would have some kids that don't need a nanny just to avoid mountain lions and such.

Question, are we counting this as the same combo or a new one?
-This is a new combo. I need to take off my shoes to count all the bodies.

3:20 - Commercial Break
I need a smoke break, this 24 is intense. Espically since I didn't see last week's episode and I don't smoke.

More on The Simpsons


Sunday night, May 20th, the Simpsons will air their 400th and season finale
episode. Called “24 Minutes”, this event will be done in 24 style complete with
multi frames and nerve-wracking ticking. Guest stars Kiefer Sutherland and Mary
Lynn Rajskub will play their Monday night alter egos, Jack Bauer and Chloe
O’Brian.
3:33AM

I guess Lisa Miller's boy toy lasts longer the second time around. Now he needs to diddle on her PDA.

Back to Zephram, don't you think Jack Bauer Jr. would stand out a bit in China...being blonde and all?

Miller's boy toy has some strange pillow talk. He's like you are lying...she's like ok 'you have a small penis'. He's like "oh snap".

Weasel is like "Let's call an ambulance...but make them wait awhile...I want to uhhhh debrief Ms. Miller....alone".

Mr. BOWER!!! Hooked on Phonics wants their product back Mr. Chang...

3:35 - Commercial Break

Miss Blogs4Bauer update
Chloe (52%)
Marilyn Bauer (48%)
The Final Four will air this week with the final matchup coming next week.

24 may be over next week, but Fox has plenty of crap for you to watch until Prison Break returns

3:39AM

"Yassir" "Yes Sir"


VtheK needs a nickname for this Division Tool. How about "Buggers"? Morris sucks at mocking people.

My wife is watching the series finale of King of Queens...the main couple (I guess the King and Queen of Queens) got divorced. Sorry for the spoiler.

Daniels - "What were you doing while this was going on"
Tom - "Probably cleaning off the keyboard, sir"

The subcircuit board is still missing, I guess we can guess what Jack will be doing for the next 2 hours.

Here it comes: Jack is your father


Lawhawk - Hmmm.. a nickname for the division guy?
Bob Slidell... because he's into tps reports.
President Suburu is a real jerk. What is it with the Russians these days? First PootiPoot and now Suburu.

2 Hours to meet the deadline! It is a good thing Jack has 2 hours left in the day otherwise we'd be screwed.

Commercial Break
Diet Pepsi 90210 commercial = lame. Jack Bauer would totally win the staring contest with the asian kid....he'd make the kid's eyes bleed. Oral B....Olive Garden - the Taco Bell of Italian food...House has a hard case to crack....Acura tunes organs from their cars and offers 1.9% APR...Panasonic for people who are clumsy....NY Lottery - for suckers....SAAB made from crappy Cold War era jets...
Fox5NY Useless 24 Story - THERE IS NO USELESS STORY TONIGHT!!!

3:54

What did Daniels just say?

Philip Bauer is on the phone
-What is it?
It is a telecommunications device that connects people, but that is not important right now.

Philip Bauer has made more deals today than Jerry Maguire.

Uncle Jack....Uncle Jack....Son....Son.....Doyle....JOSH.....

3:59....4:00

Awards for this episode:
-TOP 5 Episode of 24
-Earliest Kill by Jack Bauer
-First Kill by Morris
-Worst commercial (Pepsi)

Next Week: Explosions, Jack, Josh...Man it will be a doozy.

101 comments:

steveegg said...

Is it truly a Bauer family reunion without a bloodbath? Besides, the bloodbath begins in earnest next week.

Also, did we switch to Eastern time?

steveegg said...

We're definitely having fun tonight. It's obvious that Jack's power would be to get the truth out of anybody...oh wait a minute, that's one of his powers at CTU.

steveegg said...

Am I the only one here early, or is everybody in the Philly area watching Godzilla take its revenge on the Phillies?

Palm boy said...

He'd say 'Damnit', and the nuclear bomb would soon be in his hands

Tyler D. said...

God Mode?!?!?

steveegg said...

Is viewer discretion ever not advised?

HD feed pixelating on me - DAMMIT!

lawhawk said...

Bauer's power would be the ability to go 24 hours without having to go to the bathroom and using that pent up energy to kill people with a word.

Palm boy said...

Ok, I like Terri Bauer far better then Marilyn Bauer.

At least Terri didn't ask like a toddler.

steveegg said...

That unnamed ChiCom is going to regret hitting Jack.

Is there such a thing as a secure room at CTU?

Tyler D. said...

Over the Air HD > Cable or satellite HD.

FACT!

steveegg said...

Who knew that Al had it in him?

ONE!

steveegg said...

TWO by choke and neck snap.

Ricky Stratton too late as usual.

steveegg said...

Over-the-air (no QAM tuner, and the HD cable tuner isn't with the computer).

Palm boy said...

Niiiice.

Where did Nadia and Morris learn that?

And Where the heck did doyle come from? I don't think the timing works out...

USpace said...

Kill those monkeys...

Tyler D. said...

I totally saw Jack do a Combo Breaker

steveegg said...

So, what's the subtotal? I had one by gun, one by broken neck.

Jack Bauer said...

Isn't the action supposed to occur 45 minutes past the hour? Jack Bauer rule #45

Yeah Him said...

Dammit, Jack doesn't need any special powers. He's the man.

Case in point, choke into neck snap. The show is back on track.

2 hours 45 minutes of real action.

HELL YEAH!!

steveegg said...

Do it, Jack Jr. Tell Zephram to go to Hell.

USpace said...

cool...upcoming Simpson's 400th episode done in 24 style of some sort...

Great China! Wow! When do we leave Gramps?

Palm boy said...

Lol. Your father's mistakes.

steveegg said...

Zephram definitely on the Free Trade Kool-Aid. Unfortunately, he doesn't quite realize the Chinese are xenophobic.

As usual, Jack's the first one out of the hole - Stratton would've been too late.

Was that a Jack or Ricky kill?

lawhawk said...

Sliding kill? Sweet - that should count for style points...

steveegg said...

That one was definitely a Jack kill. I may have underestimated the pool guess.

Hard To Swallow said...

kill-counter be climbing...

Palm boy said...

nice kick josh!
Has Jack reloaded?

steveegg said...

Jack Jr has his father's right leg.

ANOTHER! Question, are we counting this as the same combo or a new one?

pickett said...

More gunfire? With less than 20 minutes of showtime?

This episode is gonna be sweet

Palm boy said...

Who fragging cares about his Mr. Bauer Sr?

Yeah Him said...

Josh is too much like his sister - screwing up the program before Jack could end Cheng.

Little bastard.

At least we're 2.5 hours from the end of Papa Bauer.

steveegg said...

Was it 5 guys between the two bouts of Chinese cooking or was it 6? In all of this excitement, I've lost count. But seeing that Jack Bauer is the best ass-kicker in the world, and he'll blow your head clean off, you have to ask yourself one question, Lick Poo. Do I feel lucky? Well, do you, punk?

Palm boy said...

Damn Ruskies. Why don't they just go to war with the Chinese?

steveegg said...

You asked for a smoke break? You got one. Frau Blucher slows things down with Jim Jones as the Rooskies move to it.

steveegg said...

And now I need a cold shower.

Palm boy said...

Miller is going to die...
And I won't be sorry.

Absurd Thoughts said...

yes this could be it...

Palm boy said...

Cold shower indeed.

Palm boy said...

Ah, this would have been suspensful without the Tommy Narration.

steveegg said...

Breck Girl definitely can't get (it done fast) enough, and Weasel Cage is horrified.

"Gentlemen, he is taking the bait." How can anyone who watched Breck Girl and Ann Coulter be called a "gentleman"?

Palm boy said...

Flashbacks to the first season, where that girl knifes Johnny Cool guy

Tyler D. said...

Is that Daniel Jackson?

USpace said...

damn...

Anonymous said...

Martha Logan redux?

steveegg said...

Breck must be a largemouth bass; he sniffed out the hook.

Ann Coulter was definitely the right nickname; she wass taking out the Breck Girl with extreme prejudice until her lack of body mass became evident.

Palm boy said...

Lol @ Steve.

Palm boy said...

Does DC have the death penalty?

Palm boy said...

Mr. Bauer tells Mr. Cheng how it is... I might like this guy.

Yeah Him said...

"Are we over finally?"

line of the year.

Non-stop action. Hell yeah!!

lawhawk said...

Zephram certainly loves to threaten countries - including the one where he was planning on taking an extended vacation.

This guy has plans within plans. Schemes within schemes. And the only thing standing in his way is Muadib. Oh wait, I mean Jack.

Jack Bauer said...

Miss Blogs4Bauer update
Chloe (52%)
Marilyn Bauer (48%)
The Final Four will air this week with the final matchup coming next week.

Palm boy said...

I think we should term it the 'Fantastic Four' instead.

Great. Another jerk from Divsion.
MAAN I miss George Mason.

steveegg said...

3 am is good for but two things; the lack of good judgement, and Division showing up to muck things up.

Jack Bauer said...

VtheK needs a nickname for this Division Tool.

Palm boy said...

When did Morris become a defending attourney?

steveegg said...

I wonder who is more protective of their intellectual property - the NCAA or Marvel Comics.

Al giving advice to Aywana, who's acting like a Token.

Palm boy said...

Time? What time do you think you have?

Palm boy said...

NCAA probably has more lawyers, if they ever take a break from prosecuting the Seminoles.

Palm boy said...

Why the Heck does Booth care a frig about Miller anymore?

steveegg said...

Ooooh, Zombie Coulter. Jim Jones doesn't like that, but I'm sure Zombie Palmer would.

lawhawk said...

Hmmm.. a nickname for the division guy?

Bob Slidell... because he's into tps reports.

steveegg said...

I've got 03:45 and counting.

Lick Poo is out, and here comes the truth about Jack Jr.

Palm boy said...

I feel it also.

Palm boy said...

Wow. Such product placement for Cisco.

Almost makes you wonder...

USpace said...

Uncle Jack, what's the deal with grandpa?

USpace said...

oh my...

Palm boy said...

Whats with this Russian nut?

Oh. 2 Hours. Awful conivient...

steveegg said...

Threats-counterthreats, the Presidential edition. Subaru wants proof by 5:50 or he takes out an American military base.

Hard To Swallow said...

you have to the end of the season...

Anonymous said...

If I were the President, I would laugh in the Russian's face and dare them to attack with their unarmed warheads and cardboard tanks.

steveegg said...

How long has "90210" been off the air? No wonder why Pepsi lost the Cola Wars.

Palm boy said...

What the heck was that pepsi commercial?

And What is a cola taste>

Palm boy said...

Ooh. Tom brings the big news.

Jack Bauer said...

Fox5NY Useless 24 Story - THERE IS NO USELESS STORY TONIGHT!!!

Palm boy said...

Mr. Bauer strikes again!

'I am sorry, you must ask the right questions!'

He just needs to say that once...

steveegg said...

No Fox5NY story? Un-fragging-believable.

Zephram has a direct line to Jim Jones, and he's playing, "Let's Make A Deal".

steveegg said...

Zephram wants the Full Mole Pardon Treatment. Frau Blucher nails it - "He's a sociopath", and Weasel Cage agrees.

Palm boy said...

Psociopath. Big words! Booth isn't intemidated.

USpace said...

beat da snot out of him...

Palm boy said...

Doyle a traitor? He just betrayed Jack...

steveegg said...

Translation from Jack - Zephram Cochrane is no father of mine.

Ricky Stratton taking Jack Jr for a VP-approved choo-choo ride. Big mistake.

Absurd Thoughts said...

off to China to live the life of the Great Leader...

steveegg said...

Ooh, looks like Zombie Michelle is going to get her revenge on RPF.

Palm boy said...

So we just tossed almost 23 hours of plot work out the window...
Probably wasn't too heavy a load to chuck through the glass.

Palm boy said...

Earliest kill by jack?

Are you sure?

Yeah Him said...

Did anyone catch the end of that conversation with Daniels, Hayes, and Lennox? Fox in eastern PA was broadcasting an alert and it killed the sound completely.

Palm boy said...

The one with the psciopath?

Yeah Him said...

Everything after psychopath into the conversation that led to Josh being taken away.

steveegg said...

Memory's a bit hazy, but Fox will have this thing up on the official "24" site by tomorrow morning.

Yeah Him said...

Have some more photos while you're at it!!

http://tv.yahoo.com/24/show/28479/photos/7

steveegg said...

Highly-suspect unofficial recall of that convo - Weasel Cage agreed that Zephram was a sociopath, but said they needed to do the deal anyway. Blucher asked, "What about Jack Jr?", and Jim Jones (I think) said, "What about all the other young kids that the Rooskie attack will take out?"

Yeah Him said...

Then I must not have missed anything important. I didn't know if anyone was giving villain names or anything of interest.

It's going to have to be a quick mop up.

And Wayne's still on the life support, too.

SVC Alumnus Blogger said...

CHLOE WINS!!! (That's like the Mariners beating the Yankees!!! Or the Seattle Seahawks winning!!!!)

CAN'T WAIT FOR 24 ON THE WEST COAST!!!! (I've read enough.)

Jack Bauer said...

Earliest kill by jack?
Are you sure?


It was pretty damn early...

Bro Robin said...

So much for the return of Tony, or the truth about Josh Bauer. I guess to make up for it Jack will have to take out his own father.

Real Debate said...

Ok, I had Jack down for 7 kills in the first 20 minutes.

Is that a record?

Anonymous said...

Josh is Phillip Bauer's son.. It's Chinatown, Jake, I mean Jack.

Yeah Him said...

Of the top moments of the season, that had all of them except a body swinging from a chain and a vampire bite to the neck.

Don't forget the best non-Bauer line ever - "Is it over, finally?!!" as Lennox can't deal with Lisa Miller bumping nasties either... UGH.

yankz said...

Bullseye yeah him, Lennox was shocked a man could last that long.

I'm going with Phillip Bauer is Josh's dad. The way Marilyn's eyes flashed when she said, "Did she tell him anything else?"

SVC Alumnus Blogger said...

FYI: Next Monday is Chloe O'Brian Appreciation Day!

Could be her last day!!

Make sure you learn how to use your computer better!!!

Mirc said...

Thank you very nice..