10. 0-0 ties.
9. Hooking up an opponent's nipples to a car battery might get him a red card.
![](http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1772/520/200/edgar.2.jpg)
7. Hacksaws are not allowed.
6. Edgar Stiles in soccer shorts.
5. FIFA looks down on torturing referees.
4. It's boring.
3. Team USA takes 43 shots to score a goal. Jack Bauer takes 4 shots to shoot down a helicopter.
2. Bauer's post-goal celebration of shoving a towel down the throat of the goalie and pissing on his forehead earned 156 yellow cards.
1. Audrey Raines likes soccer.
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