24: Season 5 — 3:00 PM-4:00 PM — Live-Blogging
Friends, Romans, non-hippie countrymen, lend me your eyes.

We're under half an hour from the next hour of 24, and I can assure you that Kim will show up in this episode. (Either that, or we'll have evidence once and for all that I've been bought by Fox to try and drum up anticipation for each week).

So get ready—I'll be back in 20 minutes.

8:45— Okay, so it didn't take 20 minutes... my local Fox affiliate just had an ad for a 10:00 news piece about the purchase of American ports by an Arab company.

Is there anyone else that's having trouble getting worked up about that? Or am I becoming desensitized to political BS?

I'll be back in 15 with all your 24 fun.

3:01 PM—Oops, Badger has gone the way of Firefly. And so did that other guy. We're already up to 2 deaths! At this rate, we're going to see a lot of bloodshed this week.

3:03—And there's 3. And Samwise is whining like a little baby.

3:05—Wait a minute... President Weasel is telling someone to stop making excuses and take responsibility? Didn't he watch last season's DVDs and see what a pathetic whiner he is?

3:07—I like Buchanan more and more. "Jack can be disciplined later, taking him out of the field now is a mistake." That's the first time anyone has had that reaction on this show (aside from maybe Palmer). Smart conclusion.

3:09—Oh no! Cola's turning on Bacardi! And penis-nose (S4GF) is trying to be forecful with Buchanan.

3:11—I want a node-monitor on my cell phone. It'll go perfectly with the CTU ringtone I have.

3:12—And now Bacardi got Cola back! I don't think he killed him, but that was serious. I think that might upset Little Miss Chatterbox, since we all know she's got such a thing for Curtis but doesn't like to see Jack do any wrong.

Ads—Just checked the comments, and lawhawk hit it on the nose, so I've determined that this portion of the liveblog is brought to you by the number 3.

Also, does anyone else hate those "so it's good to go" Taco Bell ads? They make me feel violent.

3:15—Is Samwise really going to devote resources to tracking Jack down? Doesn't he see that as a slightly bad priority?

3:17—Penis-nose redeems herself a little by trying to cover for Jack, but there's no way that'll do anything but raise suspicions that she's a mole. And I guess, at this point, she sort of is a mole—even if it is for the good guys.

3:24—I don't have much to say about that whole thing. I think it's a little ridiculous that there is only one person working with the President to resolve this situation, and that only the two of them would have been listening to that call.

I'm also pretty sure that they should set up a fake motorcade and route rather than aid in an act of war against Russia.

Ads—The Man, what are you talking about? Have you looked at the American curling team? Those women are HOT—how can you even imply that it's difficult to watch them? It's almost as good as an episode of 24 that has Kim in it.

3:28—"Someone is screwing with me, Bill, and I won't tolerate it." What a whiny bitch.

3:29—"If someone has a hidden agenda, I want to know about it." Wouldn't that be an impossibility if it actually is a "hidden" agenda?

3:31—Jack's good, anticipating the danger for the guy on the other end of the phone. We need a nickname for him—right now I'm leaning towards Jack Bristow, but I'm open to other suggestions.

3:33—Number 4, hostile chasing Bristow. Major firefight—it's a good thing that bad guys can't ever hit a good guy even with automatic weapons when he's out in the open.

Oops, spoke too soon—they got him good there.

Where'd Bauer get a gun? I thought Curtis took his? Or did he take it back and I missed it?

3:34—Wow. Jack just took down a Sikorsky with a handgun. Sweet.

3:36—Wait, Jack took out three of the bad guys? Stupid liveblogging, I totally missed it.

3:38—We've always known that Jack can count on Audrey. Here's a question, though: does anyone remember how pissed off she got when this year's mole said he thought he was doing the right thing by violating protocols to obey the White House Chief of Staff? How many times now has she violated protocols to obey Jack? I'm just saying, it's a little hypocritical.

Ads—Treo 700 ad. Think they've been reading Blogs4Bauer and decided this woudl be a good show to advertise on, even though Jack's phone is from Sprint?

Oh yeah, and I guess we didn't need a nickname, since Bristow's dead now. The Man, are you keeping count? I've lost track. Again: stupid liveblogging.

3:43—I'm sorry, I know everybody here likes First Lady Weasel, but there is no justification on the planet for a First Lady to be a part of this conversation.

3:45—She is right, though. You can't do what the terrorists want even once. Why? If you give a mouse a cookie...

3:48—Samwise really is a screw-up. That's all I have to say about that.

Ads—Could just be me, but V for Vendetta looks pretty much to be The Matrix mixed with A Brave New World. Still, that could be a really good mixture.

Another local news ad—and I'm still ok with the ports being run by an Arab company. Eew. Chloe should not be talking about nudity. I really hope it's not her or Penis-nose. That would be a great way for Kim to return, though...

3:56—A friendly Russian? Do those exist?

3:57—Whoa, did anyone else catch that look between the two First Ladies? "Thank you for your hospitality." What kind of hospitality could that be, if you get my meaning...

3:59—Wait, what does the First Lady think she can accomplish by riding into the kill zone? And good for whats-his-name the Secret Service guy. At least somebody knows what his job is and sticks to it.

Well, that's that. Next week, we have Cola threatening a Red Shirt when Samwise tries to have him arrested. Sweet.

And yes, The Man, Fox5 is reporting that there will be nudity on 24. I'll watch Fox5 News at 10 and post an update here when we get more details.