Carnival of Bauer

Blog Archive








Add to Google




24 Fanatic

Forums4Bauer

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Impeach ChimpyMcLogan ASAP
Let me start out this week by showing my support for our rioting muslim friends. President Weasel should not have submitted his crude cartoons of Muhammad to that rightwing Danish Newspaper. For this reason I will no longer steal Danishes from the corner deli and I plan on throwing out my bong made from Legos. I'd probably riot and burn things as well if USA Today published crude cartoons of Jethro Tull.

All I'm asking for is a television president who speaks the truth and who doesn't march to the beat of Wal-MarHalliburExxon in search of ways to lie to the American viewers for more oooiiillll. I know that is too much to ask for from FOX. But, the neo-cons have succeeded in having the other channels cancel both The West Wing and Commander in Chief, which dared to have progressive leaders. All we are left with is President Weasel (aka ChimpyMcBushilter). So what if Geena Davis and her huge lips drew fewer viewers than the Westminster Dog Show reruns on ABC Family? How can Hillary become our next president if people are not allowed to watch a woman lead us on television? At least her brief presidency exposed the real life of a progressive mind amongst Repub-o-thugs like Donald Sutherland.

President Weasel is also a racist, man. He recently tried to send his crazy hot wife (or is it crazy, but hot) Martha Logan to Vermont. You know, spending time smoking Vermont hash, eating Ben and Jerrys, and drinking maple syrup does not sound all that bad to me man. President Bush...eerr I mean Logan was doing it because Martha was getting phone calls from African-American men at all hours of the night. Now imagine if Laura Bush and Michael Steele were making late-night booty calls, I bet the neo-cons would probably do something like steal Mr. Steele's Social Security number, run illegal credit checks on him, and post racist images on him on their blogs. And you can count on that.

Fox needs to impeach President Logan and install someone who can talk to these terrorists to stop targeting Los Angeles. Someone who can get the muslim/russian/drug dealers to focus their rage onto a "red state" like Alabama. Let's see how the consrvo-jesusfreaks like having nerve gas being dispersed at a Wal-mart in Tuscaloosa instead of a mall in Los Angeles. For this, we need someone like Dennis Kucinich. Why are you laughing?

Would it be too much to ask for Kim Bauer to come back this week? Peace.

Counterpoint
Fight off impeachment like Shelley Winters fought off diet cola


Previous
Point - They are already illegally wiretapping Jack Bauer's cell phone, whose next?
Counterpoint - The U.S. government does not violate our civil rights enough!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Get a haircut, ye great smelly bong-sucker.

The Conservative UAW Guy said...

Far out, Man!