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Wednesday, February 01, 2006

B4B Fight Club: Jack Bauer versus Mr. Eko. Who Wins?

Jack Bauer: '24'
Age: late thirties
Nationality: American
Occupation: Secret Agent/Roughneck
Current Season Death Count: 9 (weapons: gun, bomb, surgical scissors)
Strengths: Firearms (not allowed in Fight Club), torture, blowing sh*t up with his cell phone, resourceful
Weaknesses: Possibly powerless without his cell phone
Curious Detail: Once Addicted to Heroin



Mr. Eko: 'Lost'
Age: late thirties
Nationality: Nigerian
Occupation: Ganglord/Priest
Current Season Death Count: 3 (weapons: bare-hands)
Strengths: Blunt instruments, physical strength, years of experience as Nige-rian drug-gang enforcer
Weaknesses: Gets sulky after a killing
Curious Detail: Once Supplier of Heroin

10 comments:

lawhawk said...

Oh, going for the jugular with that one. Bauer wins, only because he can still kill while addicted to heroin.

Mr. Eko may have no problem killing a man [or woman] in cold blood, but Bauer will probably sucker him by saying that he's ready to confess his sins. With a 9mm bullet.

Bauer wins. Give the points.

The Man said...

Here is some background on Jack Bauer. I take Jack in the first round.

EXPERIENCE:
Department of Defense, Washington DC – Special Assistant to the Secretary of Defense

CTU – Director of Field Operations, Los Angeles Domestic Unit

CTU – Former Special Agent in Charge, Los Angeles Domestic Unit

Los Angeles PD - Special Weapons and Tactics

MILTARY:
US Army - Combat Applications Group,
Delta Force Counter Terrorist Group


Jack pretends to die, Eko stands over him and taunts Jack's lifeless body. Then Bauer rips Eko's arms off and beats him with them.

RFTR said...

What about Locke?

Better yet, I want to see Bauer up against Steve McQueen.

V the K said...

How 'bout I make '24 v Lost Fight Club' a regular feature?

George Berryman said...

Yes. Let it be a regular feature!

Bauer wins - cutting Eko's head off with medical scissors after a five finger bendback.

V the K said...

I have been thinking about Locke and asking myself, is Locke really that much of a bad-ass? I mean, he killed Boone, sort of, and he beat the crap out of Charlie. Big whoop. Martha Logan could beat the crap out of Charlie.

I think Sayid would last longer against Jack than Locke.

RFTR said...

Oh no you didn't. You did NOT insult Locke.

Now you're gonna get it. That's almost as bad as insulting Kim--and we all know how upset that makes me...

al said...

Ecko vs Jack might just be worthy of pay per view.
Jack vs Locke would be over in about 30 seconds. Locke's legs would give out at the first snarl and out would come Jack's handy automatic knife and bye-bye.
Jack vs Sayid - long and painful. Esp for the loser...

KJ said...

Here's the thing. Eko has one ace in the hole. He could pull out some heroin and Jack might get the shakes. Then Eko hits him with that big walking stick and its over.

But if Jack is clean, Jack wins.

Arsenic said...

Bauer killed an armed professional assasin with a pair of medical scissors for god's sake. Bauer Wins.