Where the Hell is Kim?Question: Will Kim be back this Monday night?
Answer: Heck, I don't know; why are you asking me? I'm just a working-class schmo.
However, after some deep, thoughtful analysis, I have indeed come up with the
"Top Reasons Kim Isn't Back On 24 Yet":
1. She's been kidnapped by a band of cougars with anti-American sentiments (which is almost as believable as caucasian Russian break-away-state bandits attacking the US.
2. She's busy studying books to find where Russian break-away states are located on the map.
3. She's still not dry from the Girl Next Door movie.
4. Because the people at Fox are stupid.
5. Because the reason she was gone in the first place was stupid.
6. Because she's stupid.
7. She's hangin' with her mom.
8. She's back in Kevin Dillon's bomb shelter because guys with guns and bomb shelters rock.
(Note to self: Start digging bomb shelter this weekend...)
9. Because Michelle is cute enough to compensate...9. Because Chloe is cute enough to compensate for Kim's absence.
(Note to self: Don't solicit list items from people holding bongs...)
10. They're bringing the Alias chick on instead!
Hopefully, we'll find out Monday the disposition of our favorite damsel in distress.
Now bring her back, dammit!!!