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Monday, February 13, 2006

Live Blogging!

Hello, I'm Wyatt and I'll be your server this evening. Tonight's specials are a succulent Kim Bauer over glass, Jack Bauer's blood pudding, and a scrumptious whine, brought to you courtesy of Audrey Raines. And away we go . . .

8:55pm (Earth time) - Skating With Celebrities really brings out the bloodlust in me. Why can't Nancy Kerrigan get a skate blade across the jugular???

2:00pm - "Graphic Violence." (Giggles.)

2:04pm - Tac Teams? Bauer is his own Tac Team!!!

2:06pm - Forget a statement, Mike. Just say the V.P. took him hunting. HA!!!

2:07pm - Why do we have to see Martha's cans all the time, yet we get bupkis from Evelyn???

2:09pm - "Quebec" is used for the letter "Q" on license plates at CTU??? What is "X", "Xylophone???"

2:13pm - Samwise is right. Gotta get to the scene. There's not enough time to interrogate prisoners. BTW, this Live Blogging stuff is hard. The television is behind me, and I am basically listening to the episode, and not watching it. Maybe updating every minute is not the way to go. How am I doing so far? Am I wrecking it?

2:15pm - Anyone else seeing Ultraviolet besides me???

2:18pm - FRAK!!! Blogger just went down!!! Is anyone reading this anymore??? It said to Republish in 10 minutes!!! Frakking, frakking, frak!!!

2:20pm - Okay, we're back! The Mall? Sweet! Those bastards at Pottery Barn are gonna get what's coming to them!

2:22pm - Samwise is right again; from a tactical point of view, the only option is to try for the 19 canisters, as opposed to the one. Now shut yer word hole, Audrey! Nice Jeff Gordon commercial, by the way!!!

2:28pm - No, guys. That's not a two-way radio. I am the youngest man ever to get a hearing aid! SPLAT!!! The count is on: 1 dead guy so far.

2:30pm - If they're gonna take out a stadium later, can they do me a favor and take out the St. Louis Blues? they suck this season!

2:32pm - Welcome to You Make The Call. Will the President grow a spine and let valued Hallmark customers perish, or will he call an audible, and wet his pants?

2:34pm - Have a nice nap, Jack. See, this is why Vic Mackey would win the B4B Fight Club: Vic would have released the gas!

2:37pm - Okay, how many people are NOT gonna see Running Scared? The Billy Crystal film of the same name was much better.

2:40pm - $100 SAYS THAT KIM BAUER IS IN THE MALL. YA HEARD IT HERE FIRST!!!

2:42pm - Kills a guy while cuffed. NICE! 2 dead so far.

2:43pm - Jack looks like Psycho Mantis. Sorry, videogame reference.

2:44pm - RFTR, are you keeping track of the bodies??? Looks like it's gonna be a bundle.

2:46pm - How come everyone in Hollywood knows how to hotwire a car? Cripes, I'm a cop, and I can barely do it! Looks like Kim wasn't in the mall. Blast!

2:48pm - Bout God-damned time Prison Break is coming back! Bastards!!! Philly Fox affiliate has a story about Chloe and a "bombshell" from the upcoming plot. And speaking of bombshells, is RFTR turning blue yet without his Kim???

2:52pm - "Fatalities limited between 10 and 20 people." Including the bad guy, I think this week has to be a push. Wow, Walt's wife (well, ex-wife) is kinda hot.

2:54pm - Martha wusses out. Predictable.

2:55pm - Where's Kimmy???

2:59pm - Heh. Jack, ya blew it again! And still no Kimmy!!! (Giggling) Sorry, RFTR.

3:00pm - AWESOME!!! Psychedelic Furs "Pretty in Pink!!!" Greatest band . . . ever!!!

All in all, a solid episode. Next weeks looks quite entertaining, and maybe RFTR will fall for the "This week is the week for Kim" bull. That's all for me, enjoy The Ramones!

52 comments:

Citizen Grim said...

Nancy Kerrigan is the mole!

mizerock said...

President Logan is supposed to look like Nixon - is it that obvious to everyone else?

Little Miss Chatterbox said...

Mizerock: I have been thinking the same thing recently.

lawhawk said...

And the hobbit doesn't say anything about being mugged?

And no cameras outside? Nice security.

Little Miss Chatterbox said...

Somethings up with the assistant to Mrs. Psycho!!

lawhawk said...

Wyatt:

More to the point, where's Kim? Oh wait, they'll switch to Kim just as Jack gets into a truly sticky wicket.

Citizen Grim said...

Kim gets me in a sticky wicket.


why do they have to beat Jack up to get him to come with? I bet if they asked nicely, he wouldve gone along.


also, Nancy Kerrigan is in a FLANK TWO position

The Man said...

How did Samwise get back into CTU without his ID?

Anonymous said...

Still here...

mizerock said...

I read your frak, wyatt

RFTR said...

He gave one of the red-shirts a hummer.

The Man said...

Jack told the bad guys he has another appointment to get to. Is there more than one group of terrorists who need a really simple procedure done to their nerve gas gizmos?

The Man said...

Personally, I think they should use the background music for 24 during the olympic curling events and see what happens. It couldn't hurt.

lawhawk said...

Going after a mall, right before Valentine's Day. Wow, these guys really are pissed at the folks who invented that holiday.

Either that, or their SOs are pissed that they were given jewelry from Claire's instead of Kay Jewelers.

Little Miss Chatterbox said...

The Hobbit is annoying me!!

The Man said...

1 - sec. guard - bad guys

lawhawk said...

Another rule of 24:

If you see Jack enter a mall, be somewhere else. Like a bunker, because all hell is breaking loose.

And we've got body count.

lawhawk said...

How does hobbit know that they're going to go back to the other canisters? These guys could end up toast - cutouts. Shoot the hobbit. Kneecap him for entertainment purposes.

Oh, and Logan is a weasel - and a wimp. He can't make the call.

lawhawk said...

Wyatt:

Let's make a deal.

They can take out the Blues, if one canister can be saved for the Knicks. I think a group of high school kids playing pickup could beat 'em.

Little Miss Chatterbox said...

You go Jack!!!!!!!!

The Man said...

The Buck Stops Here! - President Truman
Can I Pass the Buck? - President Logan

RFTR said...

My roommate agreed with penis-nose and, apparently, Jack.

I was with Samwise, as much as I didn't want to be.

It's no different than shooting down a hijacked passenger plane before it flies into the capital. The loss of innocent life is regrettable, but necessary to spare more innocent lives.

Jack let me down.

The only way he can make it up to me is by bringing his daughter into this somehow...

Wyatt Earp said...

Lawhawk - Agreed. Blues and Knicks . . . gone.

RFTR said...

"We're closing in on the mall."

No you're not, Curtis, you're pulling shit out of your trunk!

The Man said...

2 - bad guy - Jack's iron thighs.

The Man said...

Blogs 4 Bauer Challenge

-Run through your mall's food court with a gas mask on (fake gun optional).

Citizen Grim said...

Uhhh, so how do we know how many people died from the gas or not?

Call FOX?

Or do we assume they all got treated in time?

RFTR said...

Bacardi and Cola, baby!

The Man said...

I count only 1 person saved. Jack pulled the little broad out...probably left her mother and retarded step brother at Sbarros to die. Nice Jack, now she is an orphan and will probably end up on the streets or in P0rn....

Citizen Grim said...

As for the 1-canister vs 19-canisters situation, it depends.

The utilitarian position would clearly be that it's justified to let one canister be released, if the other 19 can be secured.

But a more Kantian approach would argue that there's no way one can predict the future to ensure that the 19 would be secured, and that in any scenario, you can only make the moral decision that is immediately in front of you. Ironically, this system of moral decision-making could be considered utilitarian, because in the long run, choosing the most moral decision in any given situation regardless of future effects will eventually result snowball in increasingly positive outcomes over the long run.

RFTR said...

No, they didn't all get treated in time. I'd say probably 3/4 of them died. He said at least 11 down. I think we can safely assume 8 dead from the gas, plus a security guard and a terrorist, for a total of 10 so far.

But, I imagine we'll get a news report, or status report, or something later in the show (probably next week) telling us how many died.

lawhawk said...

Logan grows a spine when dealing with the hobbit. Go figure. But when dealing with the terrorists themselves, he turns to pudding.

mizerock said...

There are no Ends, only Means

lawhawk said...

And Mrs. Logan just turned to pudding too. Wimps in the WH. One and all.

Someone get a new insurance policy on the WH, I think Allstate handles that kind of thing. Even have a good spokesperson for the job.

mizerock said...

Teased again on Kim?!?

lawhawk said...

They've got bupkus!

lawhawk said...

rftr:

50% of nothing is still nothing. Mrs. Logan gets nothing...

RFTR said...

What kind of goram hippies are you, talking about philosophy at a time like this? Jack is about to kill people!

Tyler D. said...

NO Kim? WTF?

RFTR said...

Can the President get divorced?

Better yet, can he refuse a divorce from his wife?

Does she get 50% of the White House? Or 50% of his decision-making authority?

Or does he get 50% of her balls?

mizerock said...

I'm used to the President lying, but now USA Today? Where Is Kim?

The Man said...

10-20 people at mall - nervegas
(do we count them until we get a solid body count?)

3- bad guy - suicide

The Man said...

Why has John McCain gotten more airtime than Kim Bauer? Who do you have to choke with your legs to get Kim back on the show?

RFTR said...

Okay. Someone at Fox is going to die. They can't keep jerking me around like this.

I'm running out of original posts about Kim's return...

Citizen Grim said...

I only talk about philosophy during commercial breaks.


good use of "goram" though

RFTR said...

Hey, man, I don't fall for that bs, I lead that bs.

Wyatt Earp said...

The Man - The McCain/Kim Bauer remark was the funniest thing I read all day!

Who Watches the Watchmen? said...

Never ask for paperwork.

Anonymous said...

RFTR is "running out of original posts about Kim's return?" Not a problem...as long as he doesn't run out of Elisha Cuthbert glamour shots to post...and at the rate he's going, he'll exhaust the global supply of them in about two more weeks...

--LC Wes, Imperial Mohel

Tyler D. said...

Wyatt does good work.

Evan said...

March 6th will be a 2-hour episode, where the return of Kim Bauer commences.

Bombtruck said...

I think the 'bombshell' was reported earlier on 'ET'. Chloe apparently will go full frontal at some point this season.

That's right. They can't write it where Kim has to go full frontal...hell, they didn't even bother to consider we might prefer Audrey full frontal. They can't even be imaginative enough to have BOTH Kim and Audrey full frontal in some CTU backroom(just THINK of the ratings then, Fox!) NOOO! Had to be Chloe. Maybe Jack will put all of us out of our misery before it happens.