Carnival of Bauer

Blog Archive








Add to Google




24 Fanatic

Forums4Bauer

Monday, May 01, 2006

Liveblogging 2am - 3am

Hello again! My name is Wyatt Earp of Support Your Local Gunfighter, and I (once again) will be your liveblogging host for the evening. Feel free to stop by the ole blog after you witness the carnage I spew forth in the next hour. I could really use the traffic. And away we go . . .

2:00am - I sure hope they pressurize that luggage compartment. That's right, Bill. Send Chloe to some seedy hotel. Bill killed a hooker there once.

2:05am - Since when did David Alan Grier get a job at DHS? "Hated it!"

2:06am - That is the cleanest police car I have ever seen in my life. You should check out the ones we have in Philly. Blecch!

2:07am - For those of you who don't know, that is The Man sitting at the bar making googly eyes at Chloe. Good for you, TM!

2:10am - Commercial Break! Anyone else bored to tears yet? If you think I am lousy at this, you should check out SYLG. Heh. This is my fourth installment of Liveblogging, and I just wanted to ask if we are seeing the same commercials? Philly has had a McDonald's, a Verizon, and a Midas. All suck.

2:14am - Oh please, no one from the German government can be evil! What's that Adolf? Oh, never mind. What an uber-idiot: he fell for the ole American Choke Hold. Don't they have wrestling in the Fatherland?

2:15am - Martha, Martha, Martha! Don't bother with No-Neck. he doesn't like you as much as Aaron does . . . or did.

2:19am - Does anyone recognize earphone guy? He was one of the gang members in the original Robocop if I'm not mistaken. The guy who blew up the car with the ridiculously large gun and yelled, "I LIKE IT!!!"

2:20am - Logan's marriage is a facade he must keep up as long as he is President. Just like The Clintons!!! HA!

2:23am - Yeah, Jack. Fire a round inside a pressurized plane. Hasn't he ever seen Goldfinger? How funny will it be if the passengers rush Jack a la United 93?

2:25am - Commercial Break! Nissan commercial asking what would happen if you took a trip consisting of only left turns. You'd be at Talladega, babe!

2:26am - Am I still posting, I can't pull up B4B now. Frakkin' Blogger!

2:28am - Martha pulling a Marilyn Monroe. That's hot. I know I always down my cholesterol medicine with a nice Chianti. (Insert Hannibal Lecter noise here.)

2:31am - If CTU can patch themselves in to an airliner, can they tell them to step on the gas when I go to Arizona? And score one for Chloe! Maybe that's why she never gets any "action?"

2:35am - OH, GIVE ME A FRAKKIN' BREAK!!! HE'S MANIPULATING THE RUDDERS NOW???

2:36am - Will someone please shoot this pilot. Karen Valentine can land it like she did in Airport '77.

2:39am - Commercial Break! Everyone head to the can in an orderly fashion. On a more pleasant subject, Prison Break kicked arse tonight.

2:43am - And we're back! Now Mr. Bauer, did you order the chicken or the fish?

2:45am - If I ever see the actor that plays Miles, he's getting serious police brutality!

2:46am - They should have used Henderson for Logan's line. "Dead or alive, you're coming with me!" Played us all for fools? Um, Logan, I think you have done a fine job of that yourself. Ass.

2:49am - Commercial Break! Time for me to run a spell check! Anyone else think that that guy Taylor from American Idol is about 100 years old?

2:54am - Damned co-pilot. If God were their co-pilot, this would have never happened!

2:56am - Let the autopilot fly the plane! Just hope he doesn't blow a leak! (Just my $0.02, but this is the worst episode of 24 . . . ever! I'm struggling not to yawn here.)

2:58am - Bye, bye, Martha!

3:00am - Oh great, next week's Liveblogger will get the fighter jets vs airliner episode. Crud.

Post-script - In my humble opinion, 24 has "Jumped the Shark." There is no way you can have two episodes inside a plane. No way. But, I may just be tired and cranky. Thanks for tuning in! I'm out; enjoy A Flock of Seagulls!

75 comments:

tuffbeingright said...

Ahhh Wyatt, back for more abuse I see.

FIAR said...

People die trying to stow away like that

kdeweb said...

Jack Bauer ain't just people though!

tuffbeingright said...

Chloe, meet Larry the lounge Lizard. Larry, meet Chloe...

lawhawk said...

Good luck with the blogging. Blogger's been acting erratic - not letting some blogs post because “No route to host” errors when publishing to Blog*Spot.

tuffbeingright said...

I'll bet 5:1 that Larry spills his drink on Chloe's laptop...

lawhawk said...

The only thing more dangerous than snakes on a plane? Jack...

And it really was that easy...

kdeweb said...

I kind of feel sorry for Larry.

Chloe is SO gonna mess him up!

Citizen Grim said...

ha!! the move with the pillow - classic! I'm gonna try that next time I'm next to an annoying kid on a flight

Tyler D. said...

I thought the mythbusters said you can't use cellphones on planes?

The Man said...

Excuse me stewardess... some dude in 7B just hit the dude in 7A. Can I have another pillow?

The Man said...

So you can get to the luggage on an airplane via a portal near the bathroom?

Citizen Grim said...

you can use cellphones on planes if they're low enough. the only problem is that most cell towers are near interstates and urban hubs, and planes fly over a lot of empty wilderness...

Little Miss Chatterbox said...

Wyatt shamelessly plugging his blog again :-)))).

tuffbeingright said...

Sweet! I have *so* wanted to do that to someone on a flight!

tuffbeingright said...

FLOTUS needs a man, BAD!

fmragtops said...

Wasn' that damn phone disconnected like five minutes ago?

Tyler D. said...

OoOoOo... another drugie.

Wyatt Earp said...

Shut yer hole, LMC!!! :)

kdeweb said...

FLOTUS is gonna kills Logan, Just watch!

Kevin said...

Hey Wyatt,
Try 2AM to 3AM

Citizen Grim said...

wow, that copilot looks transparently suspicious

tuffbeingright said...

Aren't the air marshalls supposed to be wearing a suit and tie and a sign that says "Air Marshall?"

The Man said...

Jack Bauer is going through the mutherf-cking luggage. I hope he finds a snake.

The Man said...

Yankees - 3
Red Sox - 3

Jack Bauer has 2 hits.

fmragtops said...

If we all made left turns wouldn't we end up in Communism?

Little Miss Chatterbox said...

I wish the FLOTUS had told Mike what was going on. How could it possibly get worse???

lawhawk said...

Blogger is on the fritz - via status.blogger.com - they're having errors and are looking into the problem.

tuffbeingright said...

you know, the cheif of staff does kinda look like dr. phil...

Tori said...

i thought the flight attendants didnt know who the air marshalls are

Wyatt Earp said...

Thanks for pointing out my ignorance to millions Kev! I fixed it.

kdeweb said...

Bwah! I totally called it!

Larry is down!

And Chloe just kept working like nothing had changed. I love her!

tuffbeingright said...

I LOVE CHLOE!!!

...although last season was better when she shot up the bad guy with a bad ass gun

Tori said...

how would jack know the inner workings of a plane? damn he's good

Kevin said...

Yes, Blogger crapped out for a few, but it is back.

Anonymous said...

FUCKING BLOGGER

The Man said...

Jack Bauer just....ahh hell I give up.

Wyatt Earp said...

Anon - Now, now, this is a PG-13 site.

Little Miss Chatterbox said...

Chloe and a stun gun, you gotta love it!!!!

Tyler D. said...

Is Bauer a good guy or has he gone bad?


I'm scared.

The Man said...

Jack and his manpurse have hijacked an airplane. This is almost as insane as when he held up gas station.

lawhawk said...

Blogger's supposed workaround isn't working around these parts. Can't friggin update my own blog /grrrr

Oh, and the pilot has a pair, and Jack's got problems because he's gotta find the guy with the tape, is a fugitive, and TSA is going to do such a great job screening passengers...

NateG said...

Someone needs to tell the airplane that modern aircraft don't have cables like that. "Fly-by-wire" doesn't mean those kinds of wires, but rather by computer. (No mechanical connection between pilot controls and control surfaces)

Wyatt Earp said...

Lawhawk - Fear not, they stopped the three-year old with the paddle ball. That could put out the pilot's eye!

lawhawk said...

Chiggy's looking no worse for wear...

I don't trust Miles - and there's plenty good reason...

Little Miss Chatterbox said...

The Homeland Security guy is such a prick!!!!!!

The Man said...

Wyatt... I would never hit on Chloe...espically after seeing what she did to that guy last season with the machine gun.

lawhawk said...

little miss chatterbox:

It's a PG-13 site :)

You can prick your finger, but you can't finger your prick.... /george carlin

fmragtops said...

Why isn't Jack Bauer killing anyone?

The Man said...

Wasn't it about this time, last season when Logan ordered Secret Service to arrest (aka - kill) Bauer?

I hope Jack doesn't have to fake-die again this season.

Tori said...

no death count yet!!! this season is getting really boring. Tony, you can come back at any time now!

The Man said...

fmragtops

- it is now 45 minutes past the hour. Jack can start killing people in First Class now.

Tyler D. said...

Damn Chloe.

Wyatt Earp said...

This is a tailor-made Tyler D episode. Fairly boring, and little carnage.

Tyler D. said...

Funny

kdeweb said...

FLOTUS is so faking it! She is trying to get him to confess.

tuffbeingright said...

OK, a "Day Without Illegal Aliens" was one thing, but a "Day Without Death on 24" is just UNBEARABLE!!!!

The Man said...

Zero kills...but the previews of Bauer commanding a dogfight with an F-18 in a 757...classic.

Wyatt Earp said...

TM - I can't take another episode in a plane. This episode was ABSOLUTELY BRUTAL!!! Worst one yet.

The Man said...

Wyatt. I hope Jack Bauer carries countermeasures in his manpurse?

With the record of airplanes in the show 24...this plane has lasted 2 full episodes. Quite a feat..How long did Air Force One stay in the air last season?

Mr. Random said...

this has been the best episode in a long time

Natsthename said...

What? NO Comments on Buchanan's best line ever..."You don't know what you're dealing with you little ass kisser." That alone made the entire episode watchable. That and seeing how old Jean Smart's hubby looks now!

steve said...

Notice it took the Tac Team 20 minutes to get back to CTU from Buchanan's house - longer than it took Chloe to get there in the first place?

Here are some more 24isms from this week.... enjoy. add more of your own.

efitz said...

i think Tyler D. is liveblogging under the name wyatt for today

Anonymous said...

Wyatt is a self promoting dumb ass. Who lets him write on this site? Worthless.

neal phenes said...

"Worst episode"? "Jumped the Shark"? BS. It was great. Chloe zaps the jerk-off not once but twice. Loved it. Jack knocks out security, screws with the plane, steals a passenger, HSD douche gets bitch-slapped by Mike, we get the phone back and next week's dog fight is all set up. That second zap of the drunk was worth the price of admission.

MJ06 said...

I agree the police cars in the past few episodes of 24 have been extreamly clean and nice looking.

Bombtruck said...

You mean all that's keeping a pilot in control of the next 727 I get on are a set of wires no thicker than a pencil, and any superagent having a REALLY bad day can screw with them??

Next week: Jack Bauer vs. an F-18. Hope the Hornet's packin'...

Anonymous said...

your right, it is the badguy from Robocop (who gets melted at the end and ran over ... well, more splattered) - whats with 24 casting the whole Robocop cast, we now got Robocop and the 2 badguys.

can't wait for Clarence Bodicker to make an appearance then :P

Citizen Grim said...

I agree with several of the comments above - I thought it was a pretty good episode, and it gets a little tedious when every week, people are like "OMFG!! WORST EPISODE EVER!!!"

why do they still watch? go away

Wyatt Earp said...

Anon - Thanks for the support! Of course, if you weren't such a coward, you would have added a name. Moron.

Neal - That has all been done before numerous times. We didn't really get any new information, Jack didn't off anyone, and the Chloe zap was so predictable that Tuff guessed it way beforehand. The "worst episdoe ever" moniker was obvious exaggeration, but it wasn't that great.

Grim - This is the first time I ever mentioned that. I thought it was an average episode at best, but I have no problem going away.

Cam said...

This was the worst live blogging yet. You should be taken out back and beaten.

P.S. No one cares where you place in GOP and the City's Weekend Caption Contest.

Neal Phenes said...

Truth is, I once saw Chloe the actress smile on a Fox interview and I fell for her. Also, when she left her apartment wearing a tank top thingy. Oh yeah, she is hot.

Jason Steele said...

Okay so everyone I watch the show with was having a tough time figuring out what THREE of the bad guys have in common? (maybe only two if the V.P. turns out to be good) They all from the First ROBOCOP! It's a reunion for them!
1. Peter Weller
2. Ray Wise
&
3. Paul McCrane

Wonder if Paul McCranes character is gonna get dropped in acid and then hit by Jack Bauer in "Clarence Boddicker's" car? hahaha

Great blog with the Airplane! references.

Wyatt Earp said...

"Cam" - Wow, my fan now has a name. Good for you, coward! You hate my work so much that you just have to read my blog so often? Keep checking in, you're only bumping up my site meter. Ass.