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Monday, January 22, 2007

24 LiveBlog - 10:00 A.M. - 11:00 A.M.

After spending a season in the peanut gallery, I've been elevated by The Man to help out with the blogging chores around here. My dossier can be found at A Blog For All. Jack's a busy guy and considering all the help that CTU provides, every little bit helps.

When last we left Jack, he was contemplating quitting CTU and questioning life when a flash of brilliance appeared on the horizon. Actually, the flash was a nuclear blast as the Red Shirt Tac Team can't stop a nuclear bomb from going off. CTU finds out there are four more of the bombs waiting to ruin someone else's day. That provides a clarifying moment for Jack, who realizes that no one else in the country knows how to kill terrorists better than he does. Well, except for maybe Curtis (who's now dead because he threatened to kill Bashir the Islamic turncoat terrorist).

Questions to ponder: What will be the body count from the nuclear bomb that went off in the prior hour? Will Jack be able to get from point A to B in and around the newly irradiated Los Angeles region without so much as a traffic jam? Will chaos erupt preventing Jack from getting the job done? Has the nuclear fallout prevent McDreamy from having perfect hair and bedding Meredith and convinced Izzy that she needs to spend her millions? Oh wait, wrong show.

Anyhow, back to Jack - he's got a tall task ahead of him and without Cola, he's going to have to rely upon his new favorite drink - Dr. Bashir.

Tick Tick Tick...

I guess tonight's commercial of choice will be Ghost Rider? Just what the world needs - another Marvel cartoon reduced to Nicholas Cage proportions? Last week, it was 300... guess they didn't have enough Spartans to cover more than the pass at Thermopylae.

They're doing the recap... so we get to relive the worst moment of the season - Curtis dying followed moments later by the nuke going off...

10:00 - The unthinkable has happened? Oh really? Do they forget another nuke that went off in the desert because Jack stopped it from going off in Los Angeles?

No less than 12,000 dead.

To the Batcave for Palmer. All the CTU LA field teams too close to Ground Zero? All dead?

Potato Face wonders why all the people she works with keep dying? Because you work for an outfit whose security sucks? Who have more moles than a cornfield, and because you're not working at Initech?

Traffic seems to be pretty typical for Los Angeles.

Evil dudes talking.

---
10:09 Bauer goes to help dude who saw a helicopter crash after being hit by a shockwave. Guess it was cheaper than having a bunch of airplanes falling out of the sky. In the nick of time too...

---
Jack's back - he's back in. Chiggy must be so relieved to hear that. ...

10:16 - Meeting at the Bat Cave. Awww. Other countries extend their condolences and offer their assistance. First question - where are the carriers.

These people want to live in the Stone Age? Let's put them there.

10:17 - the Visitor is on the move. Bashir finally meets Chiggy. Chiggy is not impressed.

Bashir wonders how Fayed managed to put together the visiting team. Russians involved? tick tick tick...

---

10:25 - Technoweenies fighting over the best way to get intel. Al Bundy plays my hero.

Philip Bauer? Jack had a dad? Here I thought he sprung fully formed from the forehead of the Gods.

---

And we now get to club Gitmo. Obama is already in there, and the FBI wants to put a wire on him. Get the feeling that Chief Wiggums is the one behind the mike?

So, Obama now has the wire and Obama has a little wear and tear - nothing that the 15,000 tuneup can't fix.

Jack is trying to get in touch with dad. I guess dad's nickname is going to be Oddball. Just watch out for the negative waves.

10:31 Liddy just spoke to Rocket Romano, who happens to be Bauer's brother? Are you kidding me? This isn't good at all. Not good at all.

---

Now, let this all sink in. The top terrorist and the guy who wants Jack dead more than anyone else in the world is dear old brother. Rocket Romano. The one armed wonder.

As per the comments, Obama's new nickname will be Locke - who never does truly believe.

10:36 - Hi. How are you? How are you doing? How's the weather? What's new and exciting?

BTW, anyone else notice that all the traffic is non existent?

Hmmm... love triangle? Awww. How cute.

10:39 - How best to spin the terrorist detonation of a nuclear device in Los Angeles. Lovely. Sugar coat it. More aggressive measures. Deportation. Ah, embracing the politics of fear. Saving the nation from extinction.

How many talking points can I cram into one scene?

---
What took you so long? Gee, honey, a nuclear bomb went off. What do you want me to say?

Good news within the hour? The other bombs going off as scheduled... 10:45....

10:49... Back at CTU, Bashir is trying to convince them that he's for real. But the President wants him in DC. Why? Chiggy gives the handshake...

FBI just upgraded its lead - Locke is providing deep cover intel. The jihadis aren't entirely convinced Locke is a true believer or not. Locke took the initiative himself. Sherry Clone doesn't like all this going down.

---
We should get to know each other. Do lunch. It's the LA kind of thing to do. Meet you at Spago? Locke is laying on a story nice and thick. He knows Jack Valenti and the guys at the MPAA - they'll know what to do.

---
The brothers meet at last. Jack is at the disadvantage because he doesn't realize that Rocket is a bad guy. A real bad guy. Weird day. LA-speak for holy frickin $#!t!

I want information and then I'll leave.

---
Where's dad. Jack's trying to do this gently. Romano isn't buying. Try again. 10:56...

I need information or else I'll start hurting you. Trust me. Jack's not.

Cut to the Bat Cave and Palmer is looking pretty wigged out trying to collect his thoughts before going on TV trying to explain what the country will do next. The long walk to the desk.

... My fellow Americans... What are we going to do about this...

Jack wants the truth. Romano can't handle Jack's kind of truth....

Romano is about to get a lesson in oxygen deprivation. Will he be a quick learner? Stay tuned... 11:00 tick tick tick

Good night. And good luck.


Well, that ends my inaugural live blog. Hope you enjoyed it as much as I did.

164 comments:

Wyatt said...

Okay, Lawhawk, you're up. Watch the hanging curves, and beware of Turn 3 - it's a bear! Good luck!

Wyatt said...

Can I also mention that I think Sandra Palmer is a royal bitch?

Dionne said...

Wyatt:
We're all with ya on that one!!

Wyatt said...

And Curtis dying isn't the worst thing to happen. The worst thing to happen was that RFTR hasn't seen Kim Bauer in a t-shirt yet. HA!

Simply Kimberly said...

President Diet Cola should issue a blanket pardon for whoever takes her out. It would be for the good of the country.

Cajun Tiger said...

newbie on live blogs4bauer

Wyatt said...

Cajun Tiger - Relax, he's doing fine.

Simply Kimberly said...

VP Powers Boothe is on the way! Love him!

Wyatt said...

Heh, most of the dead are probably red shirts anyway. Expendable assets.

Captain USpace said...

Wow...great stuff, I think like 400,000 dead...
Keep up the great work!


absurd thought -
God of the Universe says
only 200,000 DEAD...
.

Dionne said...

Cajun Tiger:
Welcome!! I'm glad I finally got you here.

Wyatt said...

uspace - Maybe they'll turn into zombies like in Resident Evil! Keen.

mizerock said...

If only Sandra Palmer hadn't protested the warrant for members of her organization, the bomb wouldn't have gone off!

Oh wait...

Yeah, she's a spazz, she's shrill, but that's all irrelevant to the true enemies:

1) Evil Bombers
2) The Biscuit (aide to the Pres, looking to put all people of specific ethnicities in concentration camps)

Wyatt said...

Daniel - So, basically, Sandra Palmer is 24's version of Hillary Clinton. Heh.

Dionne said...

Oooh!! Even Sandra doesn't deserve that title.

Legalbgl said...

quick question...what would the EMP effect of the nuke be? Most electronics shouldnt be working...including the cars that Fayed used to escape.

Dionne said...

I hate it when your electrician trigger guy dies in a nuclear explosion.

Wyatt said...

Lawhawk - The "Initech" comment was hysterical!!! "I believe you have my stapler."

Wyatt said...

"Hey, mister! Are you here to fix my DirecTv or to get the chopper off my roof?"

Dionne said...

Man, Jack is good!!

bRight & Early said...

And . . . He's back!

Cajun Tiger said...

LMC...thought I'd give it a go

Wyatt...I was referring to myself =)

Why stop an idiot who wants to go to the nuclear fallout?

Legalbgl said...

that was the quickest resignation in the history of resignations

lawhawk said...

I do try... just be sure not to go pissing off Milton... that might be a good point/counterpoint down the road.

It's the quiet guys you have to watch...

Wyatt said...

Cajun Tiger - Sorry. Thought you were ripping a co-contributor. I apologize.

bRight & Early said...

Jack (to Wyatt) "What makes you think I can't do both. The copter will be gone, dammit. Now, did you want the NFL Sunday Ticket with that?"

Cajun Tiger said...

I'm all for the back to the Stone Age foreign policy!!!

Wyatt said...

B&E - And a hockey package, since no one in L.A. actually watches the Kings!

Oh, and I like the Admiral's point of view. Nice and ballsy.

Legalbgl said...

love the Admiral's statement...so agree!!!

Dionne said...

Have I mentioned I can't stand the weenie from Ally McBeal white house aide guy?

Simply Kimberly said...

Can we get the Admiral to help Dubya out? I like his plan.

Legalbgl said...

Why don't we send some redshirts into the middle east to wipe them out...oh right, the red shirts would drop like flies

Anonymous said...

Tom Cruise jumped the couch...Did Jack Bauer jump the roof?

Wyatt said...

Hey BSG fans, does Assad remind any of you of Gaius Baltar? Just wondering.

Cajun Tiger said...

LMC...totally agree...he is a total weasel...what's sad is they are trying to portray him as the supporter of the Patriot Act stuff and "robbing" us of freedoms...total hit on Bush admin

Wyatt said...

legalbgl - Nice Zap Branigan plan. Send wave after wave of men to die for his glory.

God, I miss Futurama.

Legalbgl said...

How long until we learn that Kim or Audrey was in Valencia?

Dionne said...

Dave Barry mentioned on his blog that everyone seems a little calm considering a nuclear bomb just went off. I agree.

Also, they have a poll up on 24's website about which other body part could Jack easily bite off someone. I thought it was a joke at first but its real. Yuck!!

bRight & Early said...

Garden Weasel plays Larry Feinhart in NUMB3RS, another show I really enjoy. Of course I'm a spreadsheet geek.

Legalbgl said...

Wyatt, this is only the head of Legalbgl!

Anonymous said...

Legalbgl - I'd bet that Kim will be back to screw things up later. As for Audrey... her other show (The Nine) got nuked.

Wyatt said...

The Man - But did her irregular nose also get cancelled?

Legalbgl said...

The Man -- never saw it...didnt know she had another show. Quess thats why she isnt on this season.

Cajun Tiger said...

B&E...another NUMB3RS geek here...i actually like him in that show...was wondering where he went until 24 started b/c the new professor side kick is a bore

Anonymous said...

Product placement: Apple computers.

Wyatt said...

Am I the only one who is getting sick of the Milo/Morris bickering. Yeah, you hate each other, get over it!

Legalbgl said...

Jack has a father? I thought he was a robot?

Anonymous said...

Jack Bauer's father?

Does he wear a black mask and sound like James Earl Jones?

Dionne said...

I'm with Lawhawk, Jack has a dad?????

Legalbgl said...

Awwww...Jack wants to speak to his daddy...how sweet!!!

bRight & Early said...

Get a tape measure, whip 'em out, and get it over with.

Reunion time.

Wyatt said...

His father killed terrorists in WWII probably.

Dionne said...

Sandra is whining yet again!!

Wyatt said...

Will someone PLEASE order Sandra a nice, cool glass of SHUT THE HELL UP?!!!

Anonymous said...

RACIAL PROFILING

bRight & Early said...

IAA=CAIR?

Simply Kimberly said...

Agent Cyril just poured her a drink!

Anonymous said...

worst. mock. beating. ever.

Legalbgl said...

Damn Jack's father has a nice house!

Dionne said...

That guy looks like the guy that Sydney Bristow cut his hand off on Alias.

Anonymous said...

Jack's dad is the mole

bRight & Early said...

And a brother?!?

Captain USpace said...

Wyatt, yeah, like in Resident Evil, that would be wild...


absurd thought -
God of the Universe says
never confront terrorists
.

:)

Legalbgl said...

Jack has a brother too? Thought Jack had no family after his wife died and Kim abandoned him.

Johnny Park said...

I propose we start calling Walid "Commander Lock" (as per the Matrix trilogy). That's the only notable role of his I can think of.

"Dammit, Morpheus. Not everyone believes what you believe!"

Anonymous said...

What the hell is that? Jack's brother?

bRight & Early said...

Oh DAMN!

Dionne said...

You have got to be kidding me, Romano is Jack's brother??????????

Wyatt said...

OH SNAP!!! Jack's brother is the RoboCop guy?????

Cajun Tiger said...

THAT IS JACK'S BROTHER!!!

Simply Kimberly said...

What the frak? Graham is Jack's brother???

Captain USpace said...

MAJOR! His bro is a top terrorist!!!! WOW!!!

Anonymous said...

VtheK's head just exploded.

Wyatt said...

Johnny - That is brilliant!

Legalbgl said...

Ahh a brother...Obi Won was wise to hide him from me...If you will not become a terrorist, perhaps he will......Oh wait...he already is!

Dionne said...

By the way I'm looking forward to Jack torturing Romano. It will make up for all the torture he inflicted on the people in the ER.

Wyatt said...

Relax, TM, I'm sending a patrol car to V the K's house as we speak.

Legalbgl said...

Didnt Jack's brother loose an arm and have a choper fall on his head?

Anonymous said...

Wyatt - it may be too late. Better tell them to pack a squeege.

Legalbgl said...

HATE COMMERCIALS!!!!

Dionne said...

Legalbgl:
You are correct, his recovery is just short of miraculous.

Simply Kimberly said...

He is Jack's brother! The DNA in that family is strong. It can survive nukes and helicopters.

Anonymous said...

Jack's Wiki entry has no mention of a brother...

Family: Kim Bauer (Daughter)
Phillip Bauer (Father)
Carol (Sister-in-Law)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jack_Bauer

Anonymous said...

Jack's dad

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_Cromwell

Anonymous said...

Jack's dad

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_Cromwell

Dionne said...

I still can't believe Romano is Jack's brother.

Wyatt said...

I think Lawhawk just used a Cyberchase reference. Nice!

Dionne said...

Great find The Man!!

Wyatt said...

I think Jack's mephew is John Daly!

Anonymous said...

Do all Bauer's have bad hair?

Even his nephew...

Wyatt said...

And Jack's sister-in-law is a mynx! Hubba hubba!!!

Cajun Tiger said...

so he is a terrorist b/c his wife is in love with his brother???

Legalbgl said...

Hey Lawhawk, for a moderator your awful quiet tonight?

Wyatt said...

Cajun Tiger - That's what turned my brother.

Dionne said...

CAIR is going to have a cow, they are talking about internment again!!

Simply Kimberly said...

Can someone find the NSA Weenie's off button?

Dionne said...

Kimberly:
Ditto!!

Wyatt:
LOL :-)

Anonymous said...

I am for more FEAR... less talk.

The kill counter is getting dusty.

Wyatt said...

Hey baby, you workin'?

Legalbgl said...

CAIR can say stink once they affirmatively state that they do not want to detonate a nuclear bomb in a US City.

Cajun Tiger said...

is that Jack's dad?

Wyatt said...

"Like, you know, whatever?"

Anonymous said...

Try having that talk with your slutty girlfriend.

"we cannot go to Vegas because I have to help nuke more cities"

Teacher Tori said...

JOSHUA from War Games would never let these terrorists get away from this. Three words:

Global Thermonuclear War

How about a nice game of chess??

Captain USpace said...

WOW!!!


absurd thought -
God of the Universe hates
watching 24 on Fox

he would never create this
one day where so much goes wrong


absurd thought -
God of the Universe thinks
24 moves too slow

too many devious moles
competing bureaucracies
.

Wyatt said...

TT - Only if it's that cool battle chess R2-D2 and Chewbacca played in SW Ep 4.

lawhawk said...

Legal:

You try live blogging on dialup... besides having Chloe on line two, Chiggy on line 3 and Jack on line 1.

Anonymous said...

Jack's dad played Zefram Cochrane in star trek...

What is up with the casting?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zefram_Cochrane

Legalbgl said...

Hawk, no excuse, been telling you to get cable for 5 years...now will you listen?

Anonymous said...

They got rid of the RED shirts! It's about time!

Dionne said...

Lawhawk:
You're doing awesome, and I can't imagine doing it with dial-up!

Cajun Tiger said...

please just slap her!!!

Wyatt said...

Why does Sandra always have a look on her face like someone farted?

Anonymous said...

Cynthia McKinney Palmer needs a quick boot in the ass.

Simply Kimberly said...

I love Agent Cyril! Shut her right the hell up.

Dionne said...

Let the torture commence!!!!

Legalbgl said...

Chatterbox...Hawk and I go back for more than 20 years...he knows I was busting his hump

Dionne said...

By the way Cynthia McKinney is a great name for Sandra.

Dionne said...

What has Romano's wife been on? She looks familiar.

Legalbgl said...

Is it me, or does Marilyn look a bit like Terry?

Simply Kimberly said...

Evil Bro has the dad held somewhere.

Anonymous said...

That kid is definitely Jack's son.

Wyatt said...

And the quarterback is toast!

Anonymous said...

anyone else think Jack's nephew looks a bit too much like him?

Legalbgl said...

So much for sibling love

Cajun Tiger said...

Nice punch...i was thinking the same thing!!!

Anonymous said...

That family reunion is going to be a bitch.

Dionne said...

I knew David Palmer and Wayne Palmer is no David Palmer.

Wyatt said...

" . . . the bombing begins in ten minutes."

Dionne said...

I hate it when you have to torture your brother!!

Simply Kimberly said...

Oh hell! The plastic bag of brotherly love.

Anonymous said...

Dad is the guy with the hottie in the jag

Wyatt said...

Guess Jack has been promoted to "bag man." Ha! I kill me!

Anonymous said...

Hhhhooolllyyy shit

He's going to add his own brother to the kill counter.

I did not think of the point total that should garner. Thoughts?

Cajun Tiger said...

Anon...I predicted that first...all credit to me if that ends up being the case!

Wyatt said...

Killing a family member? Gotta be 25 points at least.

Anonymous said...

Fox5's useless 24 story

"Jack Bauer never gets away clean"

What?

Cajun Tiger said...

oops...guess i was wrong...the accent should have given it away

Anonymous said...

Daddy and Jack next week. Should be a sweet, touching moment. Not.

Captain USpace said...

Wow, it gets deeper...Why does Jack want to find his dad so bad right now?

absurd thought -
God of the Universe thinks
more bombs will go off...
.

Legalbgl said...

well...till nextr week

Nice live blogging Hawk!

lawhawk said...

We're going to have to alter the kill counter to take into account Jack killing relatives (dad, nephew, brother, sister in law/former lover).

We're also going to have to update the nickname list. We've got a few more...

Simply Kimberly said...

Bauer DNA has got to be worth a hell of a lot of points (except for Kim of course).

Wyatt said...

Good stuff, Lawhawk! Way to lose the cherry. Heh.

Anonymous said...

Hell I'd give Jack 10 points for cutting his nephew's hair.

Captain USpace said...

Great job! Thanks!


absurd thought -
God of the Universe thinks
Live blogging is cool...
.

bRight & Early said...

My vote goes to Marcee Tidwell for Sandra P.

Anonymous said...

The promo dad is not the real dad, wait for it

Anonymous said...

Anonymous - William Cromwell is his dad. Phillip Bauer.

Phillip Bauer is a fictional character in the FOX television series 24.

He will be the estranged father of the show's main character Jack Bauer. He will be a recurring character, and not part of the main cast.

The role will be played by James Cromwell.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phillip_Bauer

Anonymous said...

ANOTHER Star Trek franchise character? WTH???? You have to leave the current space-time continuum to find anyone who remotely has a chance to stand up to Jack?

Anonymous said...

Here is more background on Graham Bauer.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Graham_Bauer

Cajun Tiger said...

well this was fun...next time I'm able to watch live and not on Tivo, I'll definitely join in.

Leaving thought...Back to the Stone Age Foreign Policy gets my vote!

Anonymous said...

24 Maraishi Says:

Joshua Bauer is actually a love child between Jack and Marilyn.

BUMBLE!!! said...

I gotta say, Jack's brother not getting electrocuted with that cord that he ripped out of the lamp (and only tied up)... I guess Jack doesn't have his mojo back yet - oh wait, the plastic bag.

NICE TOUCH.

Between him and Sandra, that's where the body count needs to start for next week.

And massive carrier retaliation in the Gulf.

Bill Buchanan is the man at CTU (in case there was any doubt).

SupergoatX2 said...

What is Larry, the name from Numbers, goin to do with Karyn Hayes?? Lock her in a closet and forget about her- the Season 3 approach. And why is her last name not Buchanan? I'm sure Larry will have some mathematical theory to eliminate the standing threat of Karyn Hayes.

steve said...

Here is tonight's list of 24isms....

As an example, how did CTU know the engineer was dead, especially since they made a big deal of not knowing what happened to Fayed?

RFTR said...

You know, Wyatt, it's not nice to make fun of my Kim obsession when I'm not here to defend myself.

Unknown said...

Chiggy's wife's cell phone works in underground 12-foot thick cement bunkers.
Jack rescues the chopper dude just as the chopper falls off the roof and explodes in a ball of flames almost as big as the nuke. Then he tells the dude, "Stay right here....(on the burning house.)"
Everyone's cell phones still work - even around the blast zone.
And Jack's family is the definition of dysfunctional. Damn. First he kills his best friend, now he's gonna torture his brother. But is he gonna get some action with his hot sister-in-law?

voiceboy said...

I would kill to hear Jack's dad say:
"That'll do, Jack, That'll do"

JoBob said...

Legalbgl, you asked about the effects of EMP from the blast - the short version, virtually none.

EMP is a side effect of gamma radiation from the blast interacting with the earth's magnetic field. In general the minimum effective altitude for a crippling EMP pulse comes from a nuclear device with a yield of 300kt detonated at around 20km. Devices with a smaller yield detonated at altitude produce a negligible EMP, but if detonated at lower altitudes can have a localized EMP effect - however conventional munitions such as FAE devices can produce a similar EMP effect and are more versatile.

In this case we had a 5kt nuke set off at ground level, so you're talking a blast radius of at most 1km, possibly less depending on topography, and the lethal area from the blast, overpressure, heat pulse, and ionizing radiation pulse would be less than 3km from the blast focal. So really, anyone more than 2 miles away should be ok if they were inside and stay out of the fallout cloud. And electronics that weren't destroyed by the blast would be perfectly functional.

Tyler said...

AIEEEE!!! I fell asleep before Prison Break!?!?!?

NOOOOOOOOOOO!

EnglishInvader said...

OK, there's another bad guy that's British, this really is painting a great stereotype for the Englishman. Either we're a flake or an evil business man ...or Vinny Jones.

David Golden said...

Al Bundy...or Squidward. You make the call.

David Golden said...

Jack's sister-in-law is Rena Sofer, who used to be on General Hospital (courtesty of my better half). BTW, her first observation was that Jack's nephew looks just like Kim.