After spending a season in the peanut gallery, I've been elevated by The Man to help out with the blogging chores around here. My dossier can be found at A Blog For All. Jack's a busy guy and considering all the help that CTU provides, every little bit helps.
When last we left Jack, he was contemplating quitting CTU and questioning life when a flash of brilliance appeared on the horizon. Actually, the flash was a nuclear blast as the Red Shirt Tac Team can't stop a nuclear bomb from going off. CTU finds out there are four more of the bombs waiting to ruin someone else's day. That provides a clarifying moment for Jack, who realizes that no one else in the country knows how to kill terrorists better than he does. Well, except for maybe Curtis (who's now dead because he threatened to kill Bashir the Islamic turncoat terrorist).
Questions to ponder: What will be the body count from the nuclear bomb that went off in the prior hour? Will Jack be able to get from point A to B in and around the newly irradiated Los Angeles region without so much as a traffic jam? Will chaos erupt preventing Jack from getting the job done? Has the nuclear fallout prevent McDreamy from having perfect hair and bedding Meredith and convinced Izzy that she needs to spend her millions? Oh wait, wrong show.
Anyhow, back to Jack - he's got a tall task ahead of him and without Cola, he's going to have to rely upon his new favorite drink - Dr. Bashir.
Tick Tick Tick...
I guess tonight's commercial of choice will be Ghost Rider? Just what the world needs - another Marvel cartoon reduced to Nicholas Cage proportions? Last week, it was 300... guess they didn't have enough Spartans to cover more than the pass at Thermopylae.
They're doing the recap... so we get to relive the worst moment of the season - Curtis dying followed moments later by the nuke going off...
10:00 - The unthinkable has happened? Oh really? Do they forget another nuke that went off in the desert because Jack stopped it from going off in Los Angeles?
No less than 12,000 dead.
To the Batcave for Palmer. All the CTU LA field teams too close to Ground Zero? All dead?
Potato Face wonders why all the people she works with keep dying? Because you work for an outfit whose security sucks? Who have more moles than a cornfield, and because you're not working at Initech?
Traffic seems to be pretty typical for Los Angeles.
Evil dudes talking.
---
10:09 Bauer goes to help dude who saw a helicopter crash after being hit by a shockwave. Guess it was cheaper than having a bunch of airplanes falling out of the sky. In the nick of time too...
---
Jack's back - he's back in. Chiggy must be so relieved to hear that. ...
10:16 - Meeting at the Bat Cave. Awww. Other countries extend their condolences and offer their assistance. First question - where are the carriers.
These people want to live in the Stone Age? Let's put them there.
10:17 - the Visitor is on the move. Bashir finally meets Chiggy. Chiggy is not impressed.
Bashir wonders how Fayed managed to put together the visiting team. Russians involved? tick tick tick...
---
10:25 - Technoweenies fighting over the best way to get intel. Al Bundy plays my hero.
Philip Bauer? Jack had a dad? Here I thought he sprung fully formed from the forehead of the Gods.
---
And we now get to club Gitmo. Obama is already in there, and the FBI wants to put a wire on him. Get the feeling that Chief Wiggums is the one behind the mike?
So, Obama now has the wire and Obama has a little wear and tear - nothing that the 15,000 tuneup can't fix.
Jack is trying to get in touch with dad. I guess dad's nickname is going to be Oddball. Just watch out for the negative waves.
10:31 Liddy just spoke to Rocket Romano, who happens to be Bauer's brother? Are you kidding me? This isn't good at all. Not good at all.
---
Now, let this all sink in. The top terrorist and the guy who wants Jack dead more than anyone else in the world is dear old brother. Rocket Romano. The one armed wonder.
As per the comments, Obama's new nickname will be Locke - who never does truly believe.
10:36 - Hi. How are you? How are you doing? How's the weather? What's new and exciting?
BTW, anyone else notice that all the traffic is non existent?
Hmmm... love triangle? Awww. How cute.
10:39 - How best to spin the terrorist detonation of a nuclear device in Los Angeles. Lovely. Sugar coat it. More aggressive measures. Deportation. Ah, embracing the politics of fear. Saving the nation from extinction.
How many talking points can I cram into one scene?
---
What took you so long? Gee, honey, a nuclear bomb went off. What do you want me to say?
Good news within the hour? The other bombs going off as scheduled... 10:45....
10:49... Back at CTU, Bashir is trying to convince them that he's for real. But the President wants him in DC. Why? Chiggy gives the handshake...
FBI just upgraded its lead - Locke is providing deep cover intel. The jihadis aren't entirely convinced Locke is a true believer or not. Locke took the initiative himself. Sherry Clone doesn't like all this going down.
---
We should get to know each other. Do lunch. It's the LA kind of thing to do. Meet you at Spago? Locke is laying on a story nice and thick. He knows Jack Valenti and the guys at the MPAA - they'll know what to do.
---
The brothers meet at last. Jack is at the disadvantage because he doesn't realize that Rocket is a bad guy. A real bad guy. Weird day. LA-speak for holy frickin $#!t!
I want information and then I'll leave.
---
Where's dad. Jack's trying to do this gently. Romano isn't buying. Try again. 10:56...
I need information or else I'll start hurting you. Trust me. Jack's not.
Cut to the Bat Cave and Palmer is looking pretty wigged out trying to collect his thoughts before going on TV trying to explain what the country will do next. The long walk to the desk.
... My fellow Americans... What are we going to do about this...
Jack wants the truth. Romano can't handle Jack's kind of truth....
Romano is about to get a lesson in oxygen deprivation. Will he be a quick learner? Stay tuned... 11:00 tick tick tick
Good night. And good luck.
Well, that ends my inaugural live blog. Hope you enjoyed it as much as I did.
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163 comments:
Okay, Lawhawk, you're up. Watch the hanging curves, and beware of Turn 3 - it's a bear! Good luck!
Can I also mention that I think Sandra Palmer is a royal bitch?
Wyatt:
We're all with ya on that one!!
And Curtis dying isn't the worst thing to happen. The worst thing to happen was that RFTR hasn't seen Kim Bauer in a t-shirt yet. HA!
President Diet Cola should issue a blanket pardon for whoever takes her out. It would be for the good of the country.
newbie on live blogs4bauer
Cajun Tiger - Relax, he's doing fine.
VP Powers Boothe is on the way! Love him!
Heh, most of the dead are probably red shirts anyway. Expendable assets.
Wow...great stuff, I think like 400,000 dead...
Keep up the great work!
absurd thought -
God of the Universe says
only 200,000 DEAD...
.
Cajun Tiger:
Welcome!! I'm glad I finally got you here.
uspace - Maybe they'll turn into zombies like in Resident Evil! Keen.
If only Sandra Palmer hadn't protested the warrant for members of her organization, the bomb wouldn't have gone off!
Oh wait...
Yeah, she's a spazz, she's shrill, but that's all irrelevant to the true enemies:
1) Evil Bombers
2) The Biscuit (aide to the Pres, looking to put all people of specific ethnicities in concentration camps)
Daniel - So, basically, Sandra Palmer is 24's version of Hillary Clinton. Heh.
Oooh!! Even Sandra doesn't deserve that title.
quick question...what would the EMP effect of the nuke be? Most electronics shouldnt be working...including the cars that Fayed used to escape.
I hate it when your electrician trigger guy dies in a nuclear explosion.
Lawhawk - The "Initech" comment was hysterical!!! "I believe you have my stapler."
"Hey, mister! Are you here to fix my DirecTv or to get the chopper off my roof?"
Man, Jack is good!!
And . . . He's back!
LMC...thought I'd give it a go
Wyatt...I was referring to myself =)
Why stop an idiot who wants to go to the nuclear fallout?
that was the quickest resignation in the history of resignations
I do try... just be sure not to go pissing off Milton... that might be a good point/counterpoint down the road.
It's the quiet guys you have to watch...
Cajun Tiger - Sorry. Thought you were ripping a co-contributor. I apologize.
Jack (to Wyatt) "What makes you think I can't do both. The copter will be gone, dammit. Now, did you want the NFL Sunday Ticket with that?"
I'm all for the back to the Stone Age foreign policy!!!
B&E - And a hockey package, since no one in L.A. actually watches the Kings!
Oh, and I like the Admiral's point of view. Nice and ballsy.
love the Admiral's statement...so agree!!!
Have I mentioned I can't stand the weenie from Ally McBeal white house aide guy?
Can we get the Admiral to help Dubya out? I like his plan.
Why don't we send some redshirts into the middle east to wipe them out...oh right, the red shirts would drop like flies
Tom Cruise jumped the couch...Did Jack Bauer jump the roof?
Hey BSG fans, does Assad remind any of you of Gaius Baltar? Just wondering.
LMC...totally agree...he is a total weasel...what's sad is they are trying to portray him as the supporter of the Patriot Act stuff and "robbing" us of freedoms...total hit on Bush admin
legalbgl - Nice Zap Branigan plan. Send wave after wave of men to die for his glory.
God, I miss Futurama.
How long until we learn that Kim or Audrey was in Valencia?
Dave Barry mentioned on his blog that everyone seems a little calm considering a nuclear bomb just went off. I agree.
Also, they have a poll up on 24's website about which other body part could Jack easily bite off someone. I thought it was a joke at first but its real. Yuck!!
Garden Weasel plays Larry Feinhart in NUMB3RS, another show I really enjoy. Of course I'm a spreadsheet geek.
Wyatt, this is only the head of Legalbgl!
Legalbgl - I'd bet that Kim will be back to screw things up later. As for Audrey... her other show (The Nine) got nuked.
The Man - But did her irregular nose also get cancelled?
The Man -- never saw it...didnt know she had another show. Quess thats why she isnt on this season.
B&E...another NUMB3RS geek here...i actually like him in that show...was wondering where he went until 24 started b/c the new professor side kick is a bore
Product placement: Apple computers.
Am I the only one who is getting sick of the Milo/Morris bickering. Yeah, you hate each other, get over it!
Jack has a father? I thought he was a robot?
Jack Bauer's father?
Does he wear a black mask and sound like James Earl Jones?
I'm with Lawhawk, Jack has a dad?????
Awwww...Jack wants to speak to his daddy...how sweet!!!
Get a tape measure, whip 'em out, and get it over with.
Reunion time.
His father killed terrorists in WWII probably.
Sandra is whining yet again!!
Will someone PLEASE order Sandra a nice, cool glass of SHUT THE HELL UP?!!!
RACIAL PROFILING
IAA=CAIR?
Agent Cyril just poured her a drink!
worst. mock. beating. ever.
Damn Jack's father has a nice house!
That guy looks like the guy that Sydney Bristow cut his hand off on Alias.
Jack's dad is the mole
And a brother?!?
Wyatt, yeah, like in Resident Evil, that would be wild...
absurd thought -
God of the Universe says
never confront terrorists
.
:)
Jack has a brother too? Thought Jack had no family after his wife died and Kim abandoned him.
I propose we start calling Walid "Commander Lock" (as per the Matrix trilogy). That's the only notable role of his I can think of.
"Dammit, Morpheus. Not everyone believes what you believe!"
What the hell is that? Jack's brother?
Oh DAMN!
You have got to be kidding me, Romano is Jack's brother??????????
OH SNAP!!! Jack's brother is the RoboCop guy?????
THAT IS JACK'S BROTHER!!!
What the frak? Graham is Jack's brother???
MAJOR! His bro is a top terrorist!!!! WOW!!!
VtheK's head just exploded.
Johnny - That is brilliant!
Ahh a brother...Obi Won was wise to hide him from me...If you will not become a terrorist, perhaps he will......Oh wait...he already is!
By the way I'm looking forward to Jack torturing Romano. It will make up for all the torture he inflicted on the people in the ER.
Relax, TM, I'm sending a patrol car to V the K's house as we speak.
Didnt Jack's brother loose an arm and have a choper fall on his head?
Wyatt - it may be too late. Better tell them to pack a squeege.
HATE COMMERCIALS!!!!
Legalbgl:
You are correct, his recovery is just short of miraculous.
He is Jack's brother! The DNA in that family is strong. It can survive nukes and helicopters.
Jack's Wiki entry has no mention of a brother...
Family: Kim Bauer (Daughter)
Phillip Bauer (Father)
Carol (Sister-in-Law)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jack_Bauer
Jack's dad
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_Cromwell
Jack's dad
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_Cromwell
I still can't believe Romano is Jack's brother.
I think Lawhawk just used a Cyberchase reference. Nice!
Great find The Man!!
I think Jack's mephew is John Daly!
Do all Bauer's have bad hair?
Even his nephew...
And Jack's sister-in-law is a mynx! Hubba hubba!!!
so he is a terrorist b/c his wife is in love with his brother???
Hey Lawhawk, for a moderator your awful quiet tonight?
Cajun Tiger - That's what turned my brother.
CAIR is going to have a cow, they are talking about internment again!!
Can someone find the NSA Weenie's off button?
Kimberly:
Ditto!!
Wyatt:
LOL :-)
I am for more FEAR... less talk.
The kill counter is getting dusty.
Hey baby, you workin'?
CAIR can say stink once they affirmatively state that they do not want to detonate a nuclear bomb in a US City.
is that Jack's dad?
"Like, you know, whatever?"
Try having that talk with your slutty girlfriend.
"we cannot go to Vegas because I have to help nuke more cities"
JOSHUA from War Games would never let these terrorists get away from this. Three words:
Global Thermonuclear War
How about a nice game of chess??
WOW!!!
absurd thought -
God of the Universe hates
watching 24 on Fox
he would never create this
one day where so much goes wrong
absurd thought -
God of the Universe thinks
24 moves too slow
too many devious moles
competing bureaucracies
.
TT - Only if it's that cool battle chess R2-D2 and Chewbacca played in SW Ep 4.
Legal:
You try live blogging on dialup... besides having Chloe on line two, Chiggy on line 3 and Jack on line 1.
Jack's dad played Zefram Cochrane in star trek...
What is up with the casting?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zefram_Cochrane
Hawk, no excuse, been telling you to get cable for 5 years...now will you listen?
They got rid of the RED shirts! It's about time!
Lawhawk:
You're doing awesome, and I can't imagine doing it with dial-up!
please just slap her!!!
Why does Sandra always have a look on her face like someone farted?
Cynthia McKinney Palmer needs a quick boot in the ass.
I love Agent Cyril! Shut her right the hell up.
Let the torture commence!!!!
Chatterbox...Hawk and I go back for more than 20 years...he knows I was busting his hump
By the way Cynthia McKinney is a great name for Sandra.
What has Romano's wife been on? She looks familiar.
Is it me, or does Marilyn look a bit like Terry?
Evil Bro has the dad held somewhere.
That kid is definitely Jack's son.
And the quarterback is toast!
anyone else think Jack's nephew looks a bit too much like him?
So much for sibling love
Nice punch...i was thinking the same thing!!!
That family reunion is going to be a bitch.
I knew David Palmer and Wayne Palmer is no David Palmer.
" . . . the bombing begins in ten minutes."
I hate it when you have to torture your brother!!
Oh hell! The plastic bag of brotherly love.
Dad is the guy with the hottie in the jag
Guess Jack has been promoted to "bag man." Ha! I kill me!
Hhhhooolllyyy shit
He's going to add his own brother to the kill counter.
I did not think of the point total that should garner. Thoughts?
Anon...I predicted that first...all credit to me if that ends up being the case!
Killing a family member? Gotta be 25 points at least.
Fox5's useless 24 story
"Jack Bauer never gets away clean"
What?
oops...guess i was wrong...the accent should have given it away
Daddy and Jack next week. Should be a sweet, touching moment. Not.
Wow, it gets deeper...Why does Jack want to find his dad so bad right now?
absurd thought -
God of the Universe thinks
more bombs will go off...
.
well...till nextr week
Nice live blogging Hawk!
We're going to have to alter the kill counter to take into account Jack killing relatives (dad, nephew, brother, sister in law/former lover).
We're also going to have to update the nickname list. We've got a few more...
Bauer DNA has got to be worth a hell of a lot of points (except for Kim of course).
Good stuff, Lawhawk! Way to lose the cherry. Heh.
Hell I'd give Jack 10 points for cutting his nephew's hair.
Great job! Thanks!
absurd thought -
God of the Universe thinks
Live blogging is cool...
.
My vote goes to Marcee Tidwell for Sandra P.
The promo dad is not the real dad, wait for it
Anonymous - William Cromwell is his dad. Phillip Bauer.
Phillip Bauer is a fictional character in the FOX television series 24.
He will be the estranged father of the show's main character Jack Bauer. He will be a recurring character, and not part of the main cast.
The role will be played by James Cromwell.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phillip_Bauer
ANOTHER Star Trek franchise character? WTH???? You have to leave the current space-time continuum to find anyone who remotely has a chance to stand up to Jack?
Here is more background on Graham Bauer.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Graham_Bauer
well this was fun...next time I'm able to watch live and not on Tivo, I'll definitely join in.
Leaving thought...Back to the Stone Age Foreign Policy gets my vote!
24 Maraishi Says:
Joshua Bauer is actually a love child between Jack and Marilyn.
I gotta say, Jack's brother not getting electrocuted with that cord that he ripped out of the lamp (and only tied up)... I guess Jack doesn't have his mojo back yet - oh wait, the plastic bag.
NICE TOUCH.
Between him and Sandra, that's where the body count needs to start for next week.
And massive carrier retaliation in the Gulf.
Bill Buchanan is the man at CTU (in case there was any doubt).
What is Larry, the name from Numbers, goin to do with Karyn Hayes?? Lock her in a closet and forget about her- the Season 3 approach. And why is her last name not Buchanan? I'm sure Larry will have some mathematical theory to eliminate the standing threat of Karyn Hayes.
Here is tonight's list of 24isms....
As an example, how did CTU know the engineer was dead, especially since they made a big deal of not knowing what happened to Fayed?
You know, Wyatt, it's not nice to make fun of my Kim obsession when I'm not here to defend myself.
Chiggy's wife's cell phone works in underground 12-foot thick cement bunkers.
Jack rescues the chopper dude just as the chopper falls off the roof and explodes in a ball of flames almost as big as the nuke. Then he tells the dude, "Stay right here....(on the burning house.)"
Everyone's cell phones still work - even around the blast zone.
And Jack's family is the definition of dysfunctional. Damn. First he kills his best friend, now he's gonna torture his brother. But is he gonna get some action with his hot sister-in-law?
I would kill to hear Jack's dad say:
"That'll do, Jack, That'll do"
AIEEEE!!! I fell asleep before Prison Break!?!?!?
NOOOOOOOOOOO!
OK, there's another bad guy that's British, this really is painting a great stereotype for the Englishman. Either we're a flake or an evil business man ...or Vinny Jones.
Al Bundy...or Squidward. You make the call.
Jack's sister-in-law is Rena Sofer, who used to be on General Hospital (courtesty of my better half). BTW, her first observation was that Jack's nephew looks just like Kim.
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