CTU figures out that Nemo is a German-trained nuclear physicist who knows all about setting off a suitcase nuke. Kemper tries to get Bundy to do something technical, but Bundy says he's doing something else for Chloe. Chloe tells Kemper this ain't the case. "I'm not a mole!" Bundy insists. CTU policy requires Kemper to take his word for it.
At the White House, Gloria Allred and John Caged Weasel describe the potential casualties from a suitcase nuke, which the President of the
Bashir asks Cola "what are we going to do next?" "What do you mean we kome sabe?" Cola shoots back at him. "Cola and Synthehol don't mix. Like Kanar and Raktajino." Jack is pissed. "Damn it you, play nice together."
Then, Jack’s phone rings. It's Chapelle, "Hey, Jack, How ya doin', Buddy?" Jack flips his bangs out of his eyes: "Breathing deep in darkness that envelops my soul." Chapelle goes on, "Hey, sorry about that whole sending you to your death by torture this morning. You wanna lead the team to find Nemo?" Jack says okeedokee, but grimly.
Meanwhile, Bashir has located Jack's favorite thing in the whole world, a PDA. Everything on the PDA was destroyed in the explosion except one useful message. "Nana Visitor arrived Thursday." He explains that Nana Visitor is code for "bomb" and Thursday is code for "Must See TV." It is obvious a reference to “Joey.”
Less than five minutes after escaping from Palmdale, Nemo has met up with Imhotep in
Speaking of which, back at the Everyman's house, Mrs Everyman begins to ask
But Mrs Everyman does a rare, sensible thing and phones LA County 9-11 "Hello, police, my son is being held hostage by a terrorist who is threatening to kill him unless we deliver a nuclear detonator to a terrorist group... Yes, I can hold."
09:19:36 to 09:31:23
Bundy and Kemper are still getting along like cats in a sack, and soon the audience finds out why. It turns out they both dated Russet Potato Face. She confronts them, "OK, I dated both of you, but neither one of you could satisfy me like Spencer the Stud-boy, so get over it. Now, which one of you is the mole?" Then, the personal side-story to keep the female viewers interested is put aside so that CTU can connect Jack with Mrs Everyman, who conveys that her son is being held hostage by someone who could be a terrorist, but she's reluctant to judge him because one man's terrorist is another man's freedom fighter.
President Chapelle receives Ambassador Smarm in the White House. "Is Bashir really interested in peace?" "Absolutely, 100%, you betcha!" the ambassador insists "And I told John Kerry and Arlen Specter the same thing." The ambassador is excused. Gloria Allred supports the deal, and we all know how good her judgment is. John Caged Weasel opposes the deal, on the grounds that he's a middle-aged white guy and he just hates Muslims. President Chapelle calls Jack and offers Bashir full immunity in return for helping find Imhotep and working for peace. He even offers to pull some strings at the Nobel committee, but Bashir feels that Jimmy Carter's award really reduced the Peace Prize to Grammy status.
Back at the detention camp, Gee Wally accepts water from another prisoner. "Before this day is over, the infidels will pay," the prisoner tells him. Then, he goes off and has a conversation with another prisoner in Arabic, which Gee Wally can not understand except for the parts that are crucial to advancing the plot.
09:37:23 to 09:42;25
President Chapelle signs the pardon. He brings in the White House's answer to the McLaughlin Group, John Caged Weasel and Gloria Allred. "Question Number One! We have pardoned a terrorist! How do we sell this to the public? Gloria Allred..." They decide they can spin it to the public as a "Bad terrorist turns good thing," put him on Oprah, have his picture taken with Angelina Jolie and some African children, and make a commercial for stem cell research. If they play their cards right, he can run for senate from
Meanwhile, Bacardi and Cola with a dash of Synthehol is deploying around the Everyman house.
The CTU Tactical Team busts into the house. Jack grimly yells "Drop the weapon!" Millions of fans down double shots. Bullets are fired.
09:48:25 to 09:59:59
President Chapelle is giving his staff instructions. "Tell first responders in
In La-la land, Jack gives Bashir his pardon, but Bashir wants to read it over and make sure there's nothing in it requiring him to do reunion specials with Rene Auberjonois. Cola is not happy. "You mean he walks." "It's not my call," Jack tells him grimly. Chloe confirms that Cola and Bashir have a connection. Bashir personally beheaded two men from Curtis's Army Unit after Desert Storm. She relays this information to Jack just as Curtis puts a gun to Bashir's head. Then, Jack pulls a gun on Curtis. Then all the CTU guys pull their guns. It's just like the banned xbox commercial. "I can't let this animal live," Cola growls. A shot rings out, and Curtis takes one right in the neck from Jack's gun. Curtis says "Garp," and then he says "Good" and then he dies.
Jack throws up and hugs a tree. His cell phone rings. Chiggy Killer is calling. "Jack, I know you're upset right now, but it's not the first time you had to kill a trusted friend and it probably won't be the last. Let's go get some pancakes." "No pancakes, I quit," Jack says. "I can't do this any more. So, why don't you just go back to your Justin Timberlake and your homework, you conformist asshole?" He jerks his hair back into place. "You just don't know what real pain is."
Also, Chiggy finds out that
CTU has imagery on Imhotep's hideout. A tactical squad moves in. They approach two sentries for whom the war is over quickly. But Nemo is almost done with the weapon. As the tactical team comes in shooting, a terrorist shouts at Nemo, "Can you detonate now?" Nemo can detonate now, and he does. A mushroom cloud blossoms over
Jack sees it from the front lawn of the Everyman house. He knows either Rob Reiner is lighting farts again, or someone detonated a nuke.
Meanwhile, Gee Wally's overheard conversation is conveyed to the CTU. They realize there are four more nukes out there with Imhotep, If Jack doesn't stop him, it will be like 9-11 times... well, four.