By Perez Hilton
Did you see 24 the other night? Tragic! Can you believe that horrendous shirt that Jack had on? Put a bro on those manboobs, there are children present! Then there's Chloe, oh what a walking disaster area. This brings me to the point of this post. Why did the terrorists nuke LA? What do they have against very pretty and somewhat important people?
What is the point of having a bomb go off like Axel Rose on a 3 week bender in Sunny SoCal? We can only hope to the celebrity Gods (like P.Diddy) that the nuke went off and will only affect parts of LA where the ugly people live.
Hayden Christensen. Princess Skankienna swears he's not gay. But then again, who cares, he's probably dead now?
Our pal John Stamos was the belle of the ball at the NBC after-party for the Golden Globes. However, he never made it to my post-after-party. A little birdie told me that he was in Valencia for a coke deal. Looks like the Full House reunion is off!
Then there is Justin who bolted the after-party after Cammie D got too clingy. Clingy like Jack "ManBoobs" Bauer's t-shirt! Did he survive the nuclear blast or is there still hope that he gets back with the Backstreet Boys?
Only ManBoobs Bauer can ensure that Lindsey, Britt, and Paris survive to live another day. Another day of getting blasted and showing their crotches off to the world! Without LA, where will our beautiful people live? Santa Clara? With four more nukes left, let's hope that the terrorists think twice before attacking any more pretty people.
Counterpoint: Perez, you ignorant slut!
By Dan Aykroyd