Carnival of Bauer

Blog Archive

Add to Google

24 Fanatic


Tuesday, May 01, 2007

TivoBlogging: Takes Place Between 1:00 AM and 2:00 AM, The Following Does.

With Guest Blogger: Master Yoda

01:00:00 to 01:12:46
Ricky Stratton the CTU Tac Team assures, "All the C4, you have. Clean the building is." Then, PenisNose, he comforts. Ricky Stratton: "Safe you are. Anything that to Lick Poo could lead us, did you hear?"
Penisnose: "I like mittens."
Qualified to be Speaker of the House, she is. Hm?

Ricky Stratton then Jack Bauer to CTU defends: "His fault the Heathen Chinee have the chip, it isn't. Blown this house like Monica Lewinsky on Spring Break, he would have. Failed him, I did."

Fuqya Awana having none of it, she is. Insists that Jack to the CTU be brought. Al Bundy's request for transfer, she denies. "Indulge your personal melodrama, I will not. Keep your personal life to yourself, you will. Tomorrow, better you will feel, hm?"

In DC, Jim Jones tp Frau Blucher a comforting glass of Kool-Aid offers: "Had to fire your husband from CTU, a bummer it is. Appreciate your sacrifice, I do."
Then, by Weasel Cage, they are informed: Subaru about the stolen nuclear arming chip knows. "Nuke you, I will!" Subaru threatens. A clue, the White House gets. A spy among them, there must be. What expendable character this time? Answer the question, the next scene, does:

Ann Coulter to her apartment returns. There, Daniel Jackson, ready to show her his "staff weapon," is. Daniel Jackson: "Bend over, you must, and plow you, I will." Ann Coulter: "Some kind of faggot, what are you?"

Lick Poo transmitting schematics and whatnot to a confederate is. Then, a broken circuit board he discovers. "Lousy Chinese crap!" Needing someone with the necessary expertise, he is. Lick Poo: "My power tools heat up and to kidnap Al Bundy prepare."

01:17:12 to 01:25:48
Daniel Jackson faster in the sack than Jeff Gordon on bennies must be. While Ann Coulter a shower takes, an espionage device into her purse Daniel Jackson places.

Al Bundy, Russet Potato Face dumps. To be her, it sucks. Cares, no one does.

Dr. Dickhead to CTU arrives. "Do anything about her nose, can we?" he asks, Examines her, he does. More track marks and bruises than Courtney Love after Lilith Fair, she has. Inject her with even more drugs, he wants to. A worse bedside manner than House, he has.

Ricky Stratton Jack to the holding cell, escorts. Jack: "Talk to Penisnose, I must. Only person who can get through to her, I am." Ricky Stratton to Fuqya Awana Jacks plea takes: "A chance with her to Jack, give," he asks. Fuqya Awana having none of it is: "No, even though Jack always right is... not listen to him once again, we shall."

1:30:12 to 1:37:02
Weasel Cage the leak back to Ann Coulter traces. Weasel Cage also a New York Post Liz Smith column, has. "Apparently, she, Daniel Jackson, like a screen door, bangs. Daniel Jackson, working for the Rooskies, is." "I'm hittin' that, too." JJ brags. Then, breaks down and cries like a little girl for his dead wife, he does. "Coulter was right, smoke the pipe, you do." Weasel Cage sneers.

Ricky Stratton Jack in the holding cell visits. Then, Ricky's autoerotic asphyxiation fantasy, Jack fulfills. Jack from the holding cell escapes and some guards clocks and Audrey he releases and takes into hiding. Kemper this observes, "If let Jack see her, you had. Happened, none of this, would have."

1:41:25 to 1:48:09
RPF from CTU you conspicuously absent is. Fuqya Awana, Ricky Stratton, of letting Jack loose, accuses. "Rule, O'Doyle does!" triumphantly Ricky Stratton shouts.

Jack, Audrey into Edgar Stiles secret sub-basement pr0n stash hides. Jack for information begs, but responsive, she is not. Jack: "Yes, I know you like mittens. But can you remember anything helpful?" CTU dorks through the door with a blowtorch cut. Jack a gun at Ricky Stratton points. "Bloomfield" Audrey shouts, a good time in a Detroit suburb remembering. Fuqya Awana convinced it something means.

1:52:32 to 1:59:59
The Russian Army preparing to attack is. "Around the american military base, a perimeter, create," JJ orders.

Ann Coulter to JJ's office returns. "You didn't just betray me, you betrayed your country. The Dark Side, a powerful attraction it holds, hm? Now, to your boyfriend go back. That we have the chip, make him believe... or else, label you an enemy combatant and lock you in a cell until the Lions win the Superbowl, I will." She says she will try. JJ: "No! Do or do not! There is no try."

To the Bloomfield copper plant CTU a Tac Team dispatches.

Heller his daughter comforts. Plans to buy mittens, he does. In Jack's cell, he portends. "Near my daughter ever again I you to ever go don't want."

Jacks simply says, "What?"

Like Hurley from last week's Lost, he is channeling.



Jack Bauer said...

Next week: Memento style with Yoda.

steveegg said...


Greg said...

You know it's bad when Yoda has to do the tivoblog. 24 didn't even end on a cliffhanger.

BUMBLE!!! said...

That took some thought regarding grammatical arrangements "Doing it consitently, you are. Impressed, I am."

Jumping the shark, this show is.

To come, the best I believe will be.

RobertDWood said...

LOL. That was fragging amazing.

Anonymous said...

Great that was, but dammit! hurt it did my head........