Important Safety Tips From The Premiere of 24
1. Do Not Assassinate Friends of Jack Bauer.
2. Do Not Threaten to Kill Friends of Jack Bauer.
3. Do Not Taunt Jack Bauer.
4. Do Not Chase Guys Who Look Like Terrorists Into Airports Behind Jack Bauer.
5. If You Are a Friend of Jack Bauer, Consider the Remote Starter Option Now Available on Most Autmobiles.
6. If You Encounter Jack Bauer and Lots of Smoke in an Open Area, Leave Immediately.
7. Do Not Stand Between Jack Bauer and a Crime Scene.
8. Do Not Stand Between Jack Bauer and the Exit Route From a Crime Scene
9. Do Not Sit Too Close to Jack Bauer's TV, Especially if Jack's team just received a bad call and Jack reaches under the cushions.
10. It is usually a good idea to get Jack to promise not to let anything happen to you... unless your name is Behrooz.