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Monday, January 23, 2006

A Public Service Announcement

In today's health-conscious society, we here at Blogs4Bauer would like to address a serious matter - the ever-expanding waistline of CTU's favorite manatee, Edgar Stiles.

Edgar was always a chubby child, and as a result, was usually the last one picked for sports. Ironically, he was usually the first one picked for belly-flop competitions. Edgar's dear departed mother enjoyed cooking lard-laden meals for her little piglet, and soon Edgar began equating food with love.

After a while, Edgar loved more than Wilt Chamberlain.

The Edgar that now occupies the space surrounding his CTU chair is a corpulent, unshaven, carbon blob with a speech impediment, whose demise will almost certainly involve a chicken bone. If he gets any larger, he will start to bend light! Unless, of course, we help.

Loyal readers of B4B can support this worthy cause bu following one simple rule: PLEASE DON'T FEED THE EDGAR!

(I will also be taking tax-deductible contributions here and at SYLG, which will go toward the purchase of a special typing wand. Edgar's fingers are too fat to type effectively, which is why Chloe always has to bail him out.)

10 comments:

The Man said...

Fact: Edgar ate Behrooz's liver

Wyatt Earp said...

Yeah, with fadder beans and a nice chianti.

Little Miss Chatterbox said...

Okay, first of all this is hilarious. Good job Wyatt.

But I am starting to feel a little sorry for the poor guy. He is a real person and in real life he is overweight. It is probably hard to be on screen like that and hear all the comments. Just that compassionate side coming out of me.

Citizen Grim said...

I heard he stuffs marshmallows in his cheeks - he doesnt really look like that

well, he does now, I suppose, what with all the marshmallows and such

Ssssteve said...

This from the guy who calls himself "Fatty McButterpants" Awesome!! Loved it Wyatt! Hey, only uf Fat guys can crack on other fat guys right?! Great Stuff!!

lawhawk said...

Hey, where's the liveblogging?

The Conservative UAW Guy said...

Who the hell is doing background checks at CTU?
They have more moles than my shooting range!!!

The Conservative UAW Guy said...

Grim, you make me laugh! :)

The Conservative UAW Guy said...

Additionally, where the hell is the live blogging?

MJ06 said...

I love it one of the funniest things on this site and I cant wait for live Blogging tommarow!!!