Carnival of Bauer

Blog Archive








Add to Google




24 Fanatic

Forums4Bauer

Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Top 10 Signs MoveOn-dot-org Has Hijacked '24'

10. Whacked out moonbat conspiracy theory about WMD's as a cover for an oil war worked into critical plot point.

9. Jack Bauer constantly hounded by unattractive, middle-aged, thunder-thighed woman in shorts demanding to know what Behrooz died for.

8. Instead of torturing terrorists, Jack invites them to "tell me what's really bothering you. Come on. You'll feel better if you open up."

7. President Logan grows broom moustache, begins speaking in German. Computer technology used to insert Butterfly McQueen's "Prissy" character from Gone With the Wind as new Secretary of State.

6. President Logan resigns. In his resignation speech, he proclaims, "I stole the election so I don't deserve to be president, I also was AWOL during Vietnam, and I'm retarded and my butt smells and I like to smell my butt."

5. Good-bye scantily clad Kim Bauer, Hello scantily-clad Al Franken.

4. Unprecedented 93 Emmy nominations.

3. Season finale: Jack and Spencer head off on horseback to herd sheep on the side of some mountain.

2. CTU finally understands why terrorists hate us. Bill Buchanan and Edgar lead group hug.

1. Jack's New Love Interest: Barbra Streisand.