EDGAR'S FUNERAL SHOULD BE A HUMDINGER

EDGAR'S FUNERAL SHOULD BE A HUMDINGER

I have it on good authority that Edgar's family is planning a funeral that is sure to be remembered by fans for a long time.

The details are a little sketchy but from what I can gather, it will be a modest affair filled with emotional rememberances and quiet reflection...

Or not. This is the description of the last funeral done by the same funeral director:

It was a helluva fun'ral, It was a helluva fun'ral
The finest fun'ral ever booked:
I had some high school juniors who passed around petunias
And lilies everywhere you looked.
It was a helluva fun'ral, I say one helluva fun'ral
Oh, how I wish that you were there;
I had ten drum majorettes doubling on the castanets
It really was a lively affair.

It was a helluva fun'ral, It was a helluva fun'ral
The national guard showed up for me;
And during the oration, they went into formation
And formed the letters R. I. P.
It was a helluva fun'ral, I say one helluva fun'ral
I gave it all my loving care;
The band was on its toes playing "Mexicali Rose",
It really was a lively affair.

A tisket a tasket, Tell us about the casket...

Well, I'll tell you 'bout the casket, my good friends
It would-a made your poor eyes pop
It was sterling silver all around and a real formica top.

Well, I'll tell you 'bout Chloe my good friends,
She was dressed in navy blue
With a gown designed by Balenciaga, I supplied that too.

I held the first funereal raffle, though I don't much like to boast
And I gave away a Chevrolet to the person who cried the most.
(I won it myself!)

There were eighteen jugglers by the grave to demonstrate their art
And when they were done, I fired a gun to let the hoot-e-nanny start.

I was serving beer and pretzels, 'til the hot pastrami came;
And I sold some souvenier hankies with the dear departed's name.

Like I said. Just a nice, quiet little gathering...

("A Dyin' Business")