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Monday, March 20, 2006

Live Blogging 8pm - 9pm

Evening, all! My name is Wyatt Earp of Support Your Local Gunfighter, and I am here to chew bubble gum and kick ass. I am also here Live Blog 24 from 8-9pm. Monday is quickly becoming Fox's home run night, now that the second best Fox show, Prison Break, is back. So, grab a snack and a beverage of your choosing, and let's get ready to rumble!

8:57pm (Earth Time) - I don't believe they are gonna bring Lincoln to the chair then end this episode!!! Sorry. Right about now, Citizen Grim is commenting that I am the mole.

8:00pm - Mmm . . . the graphic violence disclaimer. I'm all atingle!

8:00pm - Well, it looks like the junkie is now a corpsie. Heh. Since when did Logan hire Carrie Fisher as his Press Secretary?

8:06pm - A curfew? Hear that, Tyler D? All juveniles must be in bed with their blankies, post haste! This Homeland Security broad is in dire need of some hot monkey lovin'!

8:08pm - How great will it be when Chloe bitch-slaps this Homeland Security toad? Uh-oh, looks like Aaron may be seeking a booty call!

8:10pm - Martial Law? Where's that fat Asian guy from that lame CBS show???

8:12pm - Terrorist, schmerrorist. This chick makes Kim Bauer look like Janet Reno! Thigh-high leather boots, AND a Russian accent? Oh my God, it's my perfect woman!!!

8:14pm - Commercial break! So, how disappointing is my Live Blogging? I am about as entertaining as Jm J. Bullock!

8:17pm - Kudos to lawhawk for a Snake Plissken reference in the comments. OUTSTANDING! There is no curfew in Farmington - Vic Mackey has that one under control.

8:20pm - Gotta like Curtiss' high-ready position with his firearm. Oh, nevermind. Great, the Germans are involved. Seig heil!

8:24pm - See, that whole "Diplomatic Immunity" crap didn't work in Lethal Weapon 2. Why would this Eurotrash think it'd work now?

8:26pm - Oh, swell, another Katie Holmes movie. *Gag*

8:28pm - Nice wheels, baby . . . and I don't mean the car. Hold on, you mean Germany isn't cooperating with us? Say it isn't so!!!

8:30pm - I also have a "Wet List," but Jack probably doesn't want it. It mostly consists of BSG babes. Good job, Chloe: the old spill the drink on the groin trick.

8:33pm - That's right, Oksana, keep pissing off Bierko.

8:36pm - "Torch" the place? That's arson! It's a felony!!! What is up with this guy???

8:37pm - Please don't think that this lame Live Blogging is an adequate representative of my blog. SYLG is much more boring than this! It's very difficult to think of sarcastic things to say every damned minute. I'm breaking a sweat here!

8:39pm - Ya know when the VP was a Senator, he strangled a girl during sex on a Japanese corporations table. Classy! (Bonus points to decrypt that reference.)

8:40pm - Yeah, we all know what the Germans did for their country. Just ask Poland. Sorry, cheap shot.

8:44pm - It IS Jack's call. He has the gun. He is with the goose-stepper. And damn, woman, put on some makeup!

8:48pm - Eddie Vedder pulled a Quagmire! Boink 'em, and leave 'em! The price: an exploding PDA. Same thing happened to my Game Boy after 102 straight hours of Metal Gear.

8:49pm - I predict The ATL will make billions!

8:54pm - OH. MY. GOD! Oksana is CUFFED!!! Who else wants to go to the nudie bar? Don't fall for it, Buchanan - it's the schematics for Scores in Manhattan!

8:57pm - Wayne's World! Wayne's World! Party time! Time to die! Why try and outrun the van when the door opens? HIT THE DAMNED BRAKES!

8:59pm - Road trip with Oksana! SWEET!

Post-script - Next week looks fab! Somebody better hook up Audrey to the drug/torture machine. And where the hell is Robocop??? Somebody better answer my frakkin' questions, RIGHT NOW!!!

Oh well, yet another action-packed episode. And for the record, I missed Oksana saying her contact was Audrey. I WAS TYPING!!! Damn. Thank God for TiVo, and thanks for your patience with my hatchet job. I'm out! Enjoy The Psychedelic Furs!

87 comments:

The Man said...

Tony is not the mole. He's dead.

Tyler D. said...

Yeah Tony is dead.

lawhawk said...

Ah, we're about to see bacardi and coke reuniting? And the VP of martial law just got a touch of the Missus.

Tori said...

nooooooo Tony....nooooo

Tyler D. said...

In the famous words of Carlos Mencia,

"Dee Dee Dee!"

lawhawk said...

And considering just how well the government did during Katrina, does anyone honestly believe that the government would be that good at maintaining a curfew? In LA?

Who does President Wimpy think he is? Cuervo Jones?

The Man said...

Let me say that in 24: The Game, I would have killed 33 people by now.

lawhawk said...

Wyatt, take solace in the fact that the clock is ticking and you're back... now!

Tori said...

56 people dead!

lawhawk said...

Buchanan knows the gig is up, and 56 people are dead.

It's a done deal. We've got our body count.

Wyatt Earp said...

Lawhawk - TERRIFIC SNAKE PLISSKEN REFERENCE!!!

lawhawk said...

Why is Chiggy lying to S4GF about Homeland's power play?

RFTR said...

56 killed. Does that include the undead Tony or not?

Little Miss Chatterbox said...

And Jack says, "We'll see about that!!" Ha!!!!!

Tori said...

those crazy germans, i tell ya. i guess schtooping the broad is a nice perk

Citizen Grim said...

dear lord, I thought they were gonna kill off Curtis.

Tyler D. said...

Farmington is only 75% under control. He now has three guys not four.

Wyatt Earp said...

Ty - My bad. Long live Lemonhead!

lawhawk said...

Stoller needs a nickname. And he obviously was never briefed about Jack... or else he'd know that Bauer wouldn't care what the Germans think of compromising their sting operation while American lives are on the line.

Wyatt Earp said...

Stoller = Eddie Vedder

The Man said...

56 killed? That is like 49 more than I cited in the Kill Counter (7).

Squirrel said...

hey did anyone else see the russian jail bait girl in the cingular commercial just before the episode started?

Tori said...

isn't that the guy from lost? the guy who was pressing the button every 128 minutes until locke and jack got there???? what's his name on Lost?

lawhawk said...

A moment alone. Ah, the great moment alone... and we know what that means...

lawhawk said...

tori:

You mean the doc who bumped into Jack in the stadium and then was manning the hatch? Could be...

Tyler D. said...

Damn Wyatt.

Margaret Thatcher Naked on a cold day.
Margaret Thatcher Naked on a cold day.

Tori said...

yeah, that guy!!! let me pull a chloe and do some detective work and i'll get back to you

Wyatt Earp said...

Ty - What? My wet list???

Tyler D. said...

yeah

Wyatt Earp said...

Is anyone besides the seven of us reading this???

The Man said...

We want the Philly Wet List.

Wyatt Earp said...

The Man - So do I. I would be Detective of the Year!

Tyler D. said...

Rising Sun

RFTR said...

Did anyone else see the soldier pick up the cone and move it to let Wayne Palmer through?

Did anyone notice the hummer immediately behind said cone and wonder what the hell the point of the cone is?

Wyatt Earp said...

Ty - BRILLIANT! Good call.

firecaptian said...

RISING SUN!!!

firecaptian said...

rising sun!!!!

Wyatt Earp said...

Fire Captain - Correct. Ty got it first, but you are still correct! Kudos!

firecaptian said...

how hard would it be to turn in and then walk away from something that hot

Tori said...

rising sun? what are you talking about?

Wyatt Earp said...

Fire Captain - Heh, heh, "hard."

The Man said...

The exploding memory stick. Oldest trick in the book.

Greg said...

The old exploding memory card. Didn't see that one coming.

The Man said...

It is 45 minutes past the hour. Time for someone to die.

Wyatt Earp said...

Tori - The VP played a Senator in the film. Starred Sean Connery and Wesley Snipes.

firecaptian said...

how can it lose with big boi in the cast. is he french?

Wyatt Earp said...

FC - Yeah, it's pronounced "Bwah" like Patrick Roy. Heh.

Little Miss Chatterbox said...

I had to take a break to clean up kid puke. I'm sure you guys all wanted to know that.

Jack screwed the German guy. Love it!!!

firecaptian said...

how could he break that poor woman's heart.

Tori said...

i love that movie. that's the one with the chick that liked to be choked during sex and then she died on the table. great movie

Tori said...

damn, i'm a girl and I think this chick is hot.

margaret thatcher on a cold day
margaret thatcher on a cold day

firecaptian said...

HOLY GEEZ! Wayne took a roll!

RFTR said...

Is the choking a girl on the table of a japanese corporation's table a reference to that Sean Connery/Wesley Snipes movie, the name of which I can't think of right now? House of the Rising Sun or something like that?

Either that or a reference to my building in the city. I swear to God I saw two young guys touch their forheads to the floor bowing today, while the old guy they bowed to barely tipped his head in return.

Now THAT's respect.

Wyatt Earp said...

Tori - Will you marry me?

lawhawk said...

And for the love of god, will someone please inform major members of the Administration, former members, and anyone associated with members of CTU to drive defensively and never let a speeding van come alongside and open up the side door revealing guys with guns.

And Oksana really ought to be taught a lesson.

Tori said...

OH MY GOD, I KNEW I HATED AUDREY FOR A REASON

firecaptian said...

AND ME!

The Man said...

Audrey Raines will use the mole money to get a nose job. A good investment.

Citizen Grim said...

no frakkin way! Audrey!!?!??

kateykakes said...

OMG! Audrey's a sellout!

I hope Jack saved a bullet for her.

Kill the bitch!

Wyatt Earp said...

RFTR - A little late, chief. Where were you? Oh, right, kid vomit.

The Man said...

Black dudes on 24 last as long as Black dudes in horror movies.

Little Miss Chatterbox said...

Audrey--the mole!! Didn't see that coming.

firecaptian said...

S5GF is dirty?! what?!

Tyler D. said...

indeed. The Man, Indeed.

Tyler D. said...

Rising Sun next week Staring Jack Bauer.

Tori said...

KILL AUDREY KILL AUDREY SLEEP WITH COLETTE

firecaptian said...

was that aaron in the shadows with the gun pointed at him?

lawhawk said...

Oh.My.Word.

Once again, Jack's radar fails to note those closest to him can and are moles.

And once again, I call upon Jack Bauer and CTU to obtain the services of Jack Bristow to clean up CTU post haste.

Greg said...

Okay, maybe she's not so hot after all.

Little Miss Chatterbox said...

Lahawk: Excellent point about Jack Bristow.

Wyatt: My husband said the same thing about hitting the brakes. And it was me not RFTR cleaning up kid puke.

The Man said...

Zero deaths this hour. Zero.

Wyatt Earp said...

LMC and RFTR - My apologies. By the way, jack Bauer has humped more moles than Mr. Cindy Crawford. Thanks! I'm here all week!

kdeweb said...

Tony ain't officially dead until the last second of 24 ticks down on the last worst day of Jack Bauer's life. The sheet of death isn't the final call. Tony can come back!

Curtis' look to Jack while leaving the room when Jack wanted to be alone with German boy was priceless! You just know he was thinking, "Jack please don't shoot this guy! I am seriously sick of cleaning up your bloody messes. Not to mention all of the freaking paperwork explaining why you always leave a room with yet another dead body."

And is there any agency in the world that doesn't yet know who Jack Bauer is? Why must Jack go through the spiel every single time? I mean, come on! We have to kill 15 minutes every week just catching the latest object of Jack's ire up to speed.

Audrey is a mole? Is this for real? Or is it a setup? I foresee some pain in Audrey's future either way.

The Man said...

Did anyone notice the hummer immediately behind said cone and wonder what the hell the point of the cone is?

The cone is the first layer of defense. The Hummer being the second. A black van filled full of white dudes with guns would be the third.

Wyatt Earp said...

KDWEB - Hearsay from a known terrorist consort. Inadmissable on its own, so don't think it's the final word on The Butterface.

Little Miss Chatterbox said...

kdeweb: Loved your thoughts about Curtis.

The Man said...

Looks like the Freepers also think Penis-nose likes it rough.

"Looks like Audrey's enjoying this ;)"

The Man said...

German Intelligence. Is that an oxymoron?

kdeweb said...

I am SO going to make this my web home on Monday @ 8 CST. You all are my kind of people.

And Ain't It Cool News is not believing Soul Patch is gone either! He is SO coming back.

traylblazr said...

You all notice Jack STILL doesnt have to show any identification, even to the Kraut agent? And all Curtis has for an ID is some cheap looking toy badge? And the kraut believes them! Unbelieveable!

Audrey the mole..never saw it coming either! Jack better be careful interrogating her! If Audrey gets that beak of hers close to Jack, he's gonna be down an eye or two at least.

The Man said...

And Ain't It Cool News is not believing Soul Patch is gone either! He is SO coming back.

Unless Jack went to Hati in his spare time to learn Voodoo (or rent The Serphant and the Rainbow), Tony has no hope.

jackbauermyhero said...

Nice movie reference
Heehee Serpent and the rainbow

kdeweb said...

Unless Jack went to Hati in his spare time to learn Voodoo (or rent The Serphant and the Rainbow), Tony has no hope.

Considering all of the other people that have come back from certain death on 24, Tony's death may be a bit too soon to call. I am either gonna be really right here or really wrong. But my gut is telling me that Tony will be back.

Wyatt Earp said...

The Man - Agreed on The Serpent and the Rainbow. Classic reference! "Don't bury me . . . I'm not dead!"

Oh, and not to nitpick, but why does B4B get more hits in a day than I do in a week?

Laura said...

So you actually think Audrey is guilty, huh? I think you are the first person I have come across who has said so.

Don't even get me started on Tony and how much they bungled his storyline...

Agent Rez's 24 Fanfic

MJ06 said...

They dont need a curfew in Farmington Vic Mackey is bad one bad mother he keeps those Gangbangers in there place.

Eddie Vedder I love it such a good coment.

Any of you guys see the 1998 film The Siege? That had to do with Martial law and another thing was the Vice President the actor who played President Dugan in Comand and Conquer Red alert 2?