Liveblog 9-10

24: Season 5 — 9:00 PM-10:00 PM — Live-Blogging
Well, we have a bunch of weenies here at Blogs4Bauer, who won't step up to the plate to take their turn for liveblogging. So, you get me. Again.

Any complaints? Well, who's holding a gun to your head to make you come back week after week? What's that? Jack is? Hmm. Well, I guess it sucks to be you.

I'll be back in about 20 minutes to get this party started.

9:00 - Apparently lawhawk is going to liveblog from the comments. Who does he think he is, me?

9:01 - Penis-nose is in cuffs. If she got a nosejob, that would be hot. But if I had to choose between her and Collette, I'd go for the latter.

9:02 - Sorry, Chiggy, but you can only be betrayed by people you trust. And Penis-nose has some latent anger about Jack's fake death—and her nose.

9:05 - Uh-oh. LAPD. This is not going to end well. Yeah, I thought that might happen. Oooooh. Sneaky way to circumvent the Martian Law.

9:08 - Jack is asking Chloe how she could know something? Chloe knows everything. But I missed something—who stayed in the same hotel? Anyone?

9:14 - Section 5 is where they keep the hot girls who replace the ugly fat guys.

She can work my Station 6 any time.

9:15 - Jack: "Sit down!"
Penis-nose: "Oh Jack, you make me so hot."
Jack: "Don't make me smack you around."
Penis-nose: "Please do"
Jack: "Have you ever had sexual relations with Collette Stanger?"
Penis-nose: "You know I have, Jack, you were there. She sucked on my nose while you strangled me like you're going to again in a minute."

9:18 - Penis-nose: "I broke it off because his thingie wasn't as big as yours. And he didn't like it as rough as we do."

9:19 - Seriously, am I the only one who thinks she looks like she's enjoying this? And why does Frau want more? Because she's enjoying it. She wants a little hanky spanky.

9:21 - Who is this creep who's weirding out new Edgar? What a weirdo.

9:22 - New Edgar: "Guess I'd better not make any mistakes." Chloe, with sincere disdain: "No."

9:23 - Are they STUPID??? Why on earth would you tase Jack Bauer and take away his girlfriend to be tortured? Jack WILL have his revenge. Just not a good idea.

Ads - I hate this caveman ad. No, I really hate it. No, really.

Wait a minute, is McDonalds really advertising that they'll add cream and sugar to your coffee for you? That's their selling point? "Hey, you asshats are too lazy to stir your own sugar, so we'll do it for you!"

9:27 - What's Wayne have to share that they're so scared about? I mean, aside from President Palmer in his trunk.

9:29 - Anyone else notice that Jack is showing NO signs of having been tasered a few minutes ago? Seriously, he's the man. Unlike The Man, who's so whipped by his wife that he can never liveblog.

9:31 - Dude. This creepy-ass Homeland Security guy has GOT to go. And I want to see Chloe kick his ass. Okay, verbal ass-kicking will be sufficient. Well done, Chloe. Well, well done.

Now start making out with New Edgar.

9:33 - "Hey! Put on a hard hat! Hey! Don't shoot my co-workers! Hey! Get your hand off my shoulder. Hey! He wasn't my friend, I actually didn't much like the prick. Still, I'd rather you don't shoot me, too."

9:34 - Sam's doing good so far. Everyone else is dying, but he's fine.

Is anyone else amused by nerdy engineer types in hard hats? How about when terrorist start picking them off like ducks in a shooting gallery?

9:39 - Why is Red Foreman out by himself? And where did Wayne get the rifle?

9:41 - Yeah, Jack is letting his feelings for Penis-nose get in the way, like he did for cougar-bait. But can we point out that he always ends up doing the right thing because of that?

Wow, punching a federal marshall is NOT a good idea. "He's using you. He wanted you to get inside my head. And it worked. Now I'm... upset." Nice. That is a great lead-in to the bad cop stuff.

9:43 - Someday, his superiors are going to figure out that they should just do whatever Jack says, whenever he says it.

Seems like Audrey likes the choking, but not the drugs so much.

No, I take that back—she's still craving the Bauer. S4GF is back as S5.5GF. Damn. Penis-nose is here to stay.

9:46 - New Edgar is AWESOME. Also paranoid about sexual harassment. I have to admit though, I'd probably find subtle ways to sexually harass her if she works for me. (Note: to any possible future employers who are reading this and figured out who I am, that is a joke. Strictly a joke.)

9:47 - Don't shoot at Red. He'll kill you all.

Ads - Okay, folks, ten minutes left. Any predictions?

9:52 - Sounds like Sam is on target for his 15 minute goal. He must be unionized, since he originally predicted 4 times that.

9:53 - Jack got into a helicopter and clear across LA in 4 minutes. Awesome.

9:54 - I think they got a new composer for CTU theme music. It's making me feel like I'm going to have a heart attack.

Bacardi and Cola about to save the day? Well, they took two guys out. I hope someone is keeping a kill-count.

9:57 - Quick Sam, don't try to help the people shooting at the terrorists, just dive under the desk! Nice move!

Aw geez. Gas releasing. NOT good.

9:58 - Okay, I'm not a chemistry major or anything. But if igniting the natural gas destroys the nerve gas, then why do we have to worry about the nerve gas being distributed in natural gas. Does anyone pipe straight natural gas into their homes? I'm pretty sure every means of natural gas delivery involves immediate ignition, doesn't it?

9:59 - Oops. Comrade HATO has a headache. That's what you get for messing with Jack.

And now they may both be dead. We'll have to see the scenes from next week.

Don't worry everyone, there will be a poll up tomorrow to see who thinks Jack is alive and who thinks he's dead. We didn't do one of those with Tony, because Tony is clearly still alive. So is Nina Myers.