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Monday, March 27, 2006

Liveblog 9-10

24: Season 5 — 9:00 PM-10:00 PM — Live-Blogging
Well, we have a bunch of weenies here at Blogs4Bauer, who won't step up to the plate to take their turn for liveblogging. So, you get me. Again.

Any complaints? Well, who's holding a gun to your head to make you come back week after week? What's that? Jack is? Hmm. Well, I guess it sucks to be you.

I'll be back in about 20 minutes to get this party started.

9:00 - Apparently lawhawk is going to liveblog from the comments. Who does he think he is, me?

9:01 - Penis-nose is in cuffs. If she got a nosejob, that would be hot. But if I had to choose between her and Collette, I'd go for the latter.

9:02 - Sorry, Chiggy, but you can only be betrayed by people you trust. And Penis-nose has some latent anger about Jack's fake death—and her nose.

9:05 - Uh-oh. LAPD. This is not going to end well. Yeah, I thought that might happen. Oooooh. Sneaky way to circumvent the Martian Law.

9:08 - Jack is asking Chloe how she could know something? Chloe knows everything. But I missed something—who stayed in the same hotel? Anyone?

9:14 - Section 5 is where they keep the hot girls who replace the ugly fat guys.

She can work my Station 6 any time.

9:15 - Jack: "Sit down!"
Penis-nose: "Oh Jack, you make me so hot."
Jack: "Don't make me smack you around."
Penis-nose: "Please do"
Jack: "Have you ever had sexual relations with Collette Stanger?"
Penis-nose: "You know I have, Jack, you were there. She sucked on my nose while you strangled me like you're going to again in a minute."

9:18 - Penis-nose: "I broke it off because his thingie wasn't as big as yours. And he didn't like it as rough as we do."

9:19 - Seriously, am I the only one who thinks she looks like she's enjoying this? And why does Frau want more? Because she's enjoying it. She wants a little hanky spanky.

9:21 - Who is this creep who's weirding out new Edgar? What a weirdo.

9:22 - New Edgar: "Guess I'd better not make any mistakes." Chloe, with sincere disdain: "No."

9:23 - Are they STUPID??? Why on earth would you tase Jack Bauer and take away his girlfriend to be tortured? Jack WILL have his revenge. Just not a good idea.

Ads - I hate this caveman ad. No, I really hate it. No, really.

Wait a minute, is McDonalds really advertising that they'll add cream and sugar to your coffee for you? That's their selling point? "Hey, you asshats are too lazy to stir your own sugar, so we'll do it for you!"

9:27 - What's Wayne have to share that they're so scared about? I mean, aside from President Palmer in his trunk.

9:29 - Anyone else notice that Jack is showing NO signs of having been tasered a few minutes ago? Seriously, he's the man. Unlike The Man, who's so whipped by his wife that he can never liveblog.

9:31 - Dude. This creepy-ass Homeland Security guy has GOT to go. And I want to see Chloe kick his ass. Okay, verbal ass-kicking will be sufficient. Well done, Chloe. Well, well done.

Now start making out with New Edgar.

9:33 - "Hey! Put on a hard hat! Hey! Don't shoot my co-workers! Hey! Get your hand off my shoulder. Hey! He wasn't my friend, I actually didn't much like the prick. Still, I'd rather you don't shoot me, too."

9:34 - Sam's doing good so far. Everyone else is dying, but he's fine.

Is anyone else amused by nerdy engineer types in hard hats? How about when terrorist start picking them off like ducks in a shooting gallery?

9:39 - Why is Red Foreman out by himself? And where did Wayne get the rifle?

9:41 - Yeah, Jack is letting his feelings for Penis-nose get in the way, like he did for cougar-bait. But can we point out that he always ends up doing the right thing because of that?

Wow, punching a federal marshall is NOT a good idea. "He's using you. He wanted you to get inside my head. And it worked. Now I'm... upset." Nice. That is a great lead-in to the bad cop stuff.

9:43 - Someday, his superiors are going to figure out that they should just do whatever Jack says, whenever he says it.

Seems like Audrey likes the choking, but not the drugs so much.

No, I take that back—she's still craving the Bauer. S4GF is back as S5.5GF. Damn. Penis-nose is here to stay.

9:46 - New Edgar is AWESOME. Also paranoid about sexual harassment. I have to admit though, I'd probably find subtle ways to sexually harass her if she works for me. (Note: to any possible future employers who are reading this and figured out who I am, that is a joke. Strictly a joke.)

9:47 - Don't shoot at Red. He'll kill you all.

Ads - Okay, folks, ten minutes left. Any predictions?

9:52 - Sounds like Sam is on target for his 15 minute goal. He must be unionized, since he originally predicted 4 times that.

9:53 - Jack got into a helicopter and clear across LA in 4 minutes. Awesome.

9:54 - I think they got a new composer for CTU theme music. It's making me feel like I'm going to have a heart attack.

Bacardi and Cola about to save the day? Well, they took two guys out. I hope someone is keeping a kill-count.

9:57 - Quick Sam, don't try to help the people shooting at the terrorists, just dive under the desk! Nice move!

Aw geez. Gas releasing. NOT good.

9:58 - Okay, I'm not a chemistry major or anything. But if igniting the natural gas destroys the nerve gas, then why do we have to worry about the nerve gas being distributed in natural gas. Does anyone pipe straight natural gas into their homes? I'm pretty sure every means of natural gas delivery involves immediate ignition, doesn't it?

9:59 - Oops. Comrade HATO has a headache. That's what you get for messing with Jack.

And now they may both be dead. We'll have to see the scenes from next week.

Don't worry everyone, there will be a poll up tomorrow to see who thinks Jack is alive and who thinks he's dead. We didn't do one of those with Tony, because Tony is clearly still alive. So is Nina Myers.

111 comments:

MJ06 said...

You guys are all halarious so dont worry about it I love your live blogging!

Little Miss Chatterbox said...

You always do a great job!! You get my vote!

lawhawk said...

This corner of the peanut gallery has no complaints.

Well, maybe one. How about updating the body count winners to reflect the mass gas attack. That's been bothering me for a while now.

Tyler D. said...

When ever I live blog the show sucks.

lawhawk said...

And away we go...

lawhawk said...

And the red shirts have been replaced with white shirts, meaning that we've seen enough body count from the CTUers for one hour...

Tyler D. said...

oOoOoOo... cannibalism.

lawhawk said...

RFTR you snooze... you lose. But, like Burger King, have it your way :)

kdeweb said...

I fluve Bill. We can torture our own people and can't touch a criminal? :swoon:

firecaptian said...

Holy geez! Audrey and Walt sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g. First comes love, then comes marriage then comes Audrey with a freakin bullet hole in the thigh!

lawhawk said...

That would be S4GF and Cummings.

Tyler D. said...

David Brekenridge? That movie might be good.

Little Miss Chatterbox said...

I would love for Audrey to be the mole but my instinct is telling me somebody is setting her up to be the mole.

Little Miss Chatterbox said...

I can't wait to see that new movie with Sutherland.

kdeweb said...

Anybody else see the news that 24 the movie starts filming in 2007?

I hope this is the real deal.

MJ06 said...

This would be a perfect time for Vic Mackey to join hes got to avenge those 2 poor police men.

Yeah Whit shirts thats a change.

firecaptian said...

unanimous isn't spelled with a 1

kdeweb said...

I agree with Little Miss Chatterbox. The Keifer's new movie looks good.

kdeweb said...

Gah! Nobody can replace Edgar. I hate the new girl already!

Anonymous said...

Jack is playing good cop? WTF, over?

firecaptian said...

wow new edgar is cute

lawhawk said...

Audrey is about to come unglued. Or glued against the wall, depends on how this goes...

firecaptian said...

Hot Damn! Jack Bauer gonna have to choke a -!

Little Miss Chatterbox said...

This is going to be very unpleasant. Hehehehe......

kdeweb said...

Has Homeland Security chick heard of Jack Bauer? Because no way is Bill going to be able to stop Jack from doing anything.

firecaptian said...

HS guy is a dillhole

lawhawk said...

Tazering Jack?

Before 11pm? That's not a good idea. You're going to make Jack very very angry.

You wont like Jack angry. He makes the Hulk look like a chump.

Little Miss Chatterbox said...

I hate the homeland security people!!

Since when does Jack prevent torture????

tuffbeingright said...

Is there a support group for those who think Audrey is hot?

Cause I dunno, something about seeing her pinned against a cement wall is... I dunno... hot

firecaptian said...

Tazering Jack just recharges his batteries

kdeweb said...

Did anyone else see Burke throw up in his mouth when Jack told him to get out of his way?

The taser guy is SO gonna pay for that. He must be new. At least the red shirts knew when Curtis was being serious. And this IS Jack for crying out loud.

lawhawk said...

Phil,

I don't think Audrey is bad looking, but Colette does a better job for me - I have a thing for brunettes though...

tuffbeingright said...

Ahh robocop is back!

firecaptian said...

couldnt they have put that bandage someplace else on Red Forman? Just looks awkward there. unless it's the patch and he's trying to quite a REALLY heavy habit

Little Miss Chatterbox said...

Can Red Foreman leave when he's secret service for the president????????

tuffbeingright said...

I'm with you lawhawk. I've always favored brunettes myself. And I'd never kick Colette out of bed for eating....



Audrey

mizerock said...

"The Sentinal" - David Breckinridge has the same whispery, husky voice as Jack Bauer. I would have thought that Kiefer William Frederick Dempsey George Rufus Sutherland (!) had more range than that.

BONEHEAD said...

I'd kick her out of bed... to shag on the floor.

firecaptian said...

Dude just got OWNED by Chloe!

Little Miss Chatterbox said...

Don't mess with Chloe!!!!!!!!!!

tuffbeingright said...

Ahh the girls club is kicking into high gear @ CTU.

This homeland security guy is really making sexual harrassers in the workplace look bad!

lawhawk said...

We're about to get serious... as the music changes... We're up to 3 (2 cops and that rentacop)

firecaptian said...

Um, newsflash, whenever someone with a foreign accent says he's got a delivery during martian law, it's never a good thing

firecaptian said...

lol phil!

kdeweb said...

I say before Day 5 is over, Chloe puts a bullet into HLS guy.

firecaptian said...

"Sam, don't do it" not exactly famous last words

lawhawk said...

And this guy is dead as a doorknob, because that's the way they're all gonna die. It's the terrorist motto.

And why does the bad guy look like Simon from Die Hard with a Vengeance?

Little Miss Chatterbox said...

Are we up to 5 kills so far??

tuffbeingright said...

Boy that Sam is a real fairy. Thank God I have oil heat!

firecaptian said...

"Sam, tell him to shove his canisters up is A@#!" now those are famous last words

Anonymous said...

I don't think OSHA is going to like what they're doing.

firecaptian said...

Random useless fact: I live in a small town in N. Mississippi about twenty miles from Morgan Freemans house. I have run into him at least half a dozen times and he is always as nice as can be.

tuffbeingright said...

I think they are trying some new menopause medication on Audrey. She's sweating like a pig.

firecaptian said...

Mary Licolns cleavage just got trumped by Colettes

kdeweb said...

Bill should give classes on how to deal with Jack. Jack says do this, and Bill does it.

Little Miss Chatterbox said...

You do not want to try me!!!! Woo-hoo!!!

Anonymous said...

The marshal was running around without a round in the chamber? Anyone notice that the slide wasn't in battery? You'd think Jack knew his way around a Glock...

tuffbeingright said...

OK, I know a thing or 2 about semiauto's and there was just a MAJOR boo-boo done by JB.

The glock JB just pointed at Colette did not need to have a round chambered and it was not ready to fire when JB pointed it at her head.

I hate it when hey screw up gun stuff...

mizerock said...

Oh no - she's a serial accuser of sexual harassment - there goes the sisterhood

Tyler D. said...

Shari hates men that is all there is to it.

lawhawk said...

That chick is disturbed, but at least she nailed the right gas distribution site.

tuffbeingright said...

Looks like the new Edgar isn't going to last. What a shame.

Little Miss Chatterbox said...

The new chic replacing Edgar is psycho!!

Mr. Random said...

I LOVE THAT QUOTE!!! NEW EDGAR IS HILARIOUS!!!!

lawhawk said...

Oh, and no one is noticing the massive amounts of gunfire? Are you kidding me? Sheesh....

And those terrorists couldn't hit the side of a barn from the inside!

mizerock said...

Red gets away safely, with all that fire power around them? In the words of Richie Cusack [William Hurt]: "How do you f*** that up?"

Little Miss Chatterbox said...

Red Foreman kicks butt!!!

firecaptian said...

new Edgers a few forks shy of a picnic

kdeweb said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

Compared to New Edgar, Chloe has personality. Then she scowls.

mizerock said...

Jack was the one doing the harassing. S4GF is drugged, and he kisses her? He had better hope she doesn't press charges when she recovers. I bet it's on survailance tape and everything.

Fortunately we know that the writers would never waste our time with that kind of subplot - we wouldn't suddenly have 2 sexual harassment cases started up

Anonymous said...

If you're holding a rifle (with night-vision sight --the green glow) at night, and getting shot at, why would you then drop that for your handgun? Come on, Red, you're better than that!

tuffbeingright said...

nuke the gas processing plant from orbit. it's the only was to be sure!

Mr. Random said...

Lol, they dont see the helicopter right behind them...

lawhawk said...

This is gonna get real messy. And if that gas gets released, it's gonna blow away any of those body count predictions.

firecaptian said...

well, it took damn near an hour but Jack finally killed someone

Mr. Random said...

Jacks man purse better come in handy soon because it looks tacky in a covert op.

tuffbeingright said...

gas filled pressure pipes all over the place? no problem when you're one shot-one kill with a pistol...

Tyler D. said...

Bacardi & Cola

They get the job done.

lawhawk said...

Gas is released, and they better get the pressure up. Blown up, that is...

Mr. Random said...

wouldnt that also send a fiery explosion to every home?

tuffbeingright said...

Those dry-ice machine they use to distribute centox gas are pretty cool...

firecaptian said...

RUN FORREST RUN!

Mr. Random said...

IF JACK DIES IM GONNA BE SO MADDDD

kdeweb said...

Jack Bauer knows how to pack a bag.

I'm just saying!

Tyler D. said...

Did anyone else start singing the smokey and the bandit theme in there head while Jack was running?

lawhawk said...

Massive gas explosions can't kill Jack. They only make him even more angry. And that last shot is gonna be messy.

Anonymous said...

Craig Bierko has been apprehended!

Mr. Random said...

SON OF A...HOW DARE THEYYYYYYYY!!! THE PREVIEWS BETTER SHOW JACK.

Anonymous said...

I was humming the theme to Chariots of Fire...

Little Miss Chatterbox said...

Jack is never dead!!

Mr. Random said...

Im going into deep freeze for one week ok? I want to wake up to the "the following takes place" im willing to sacrifice a week of my life...

firecaptian said...

wow a Jackless preview

Mr. Random said...

Chloe wouldnt be that ok with everything if Jack is dead right? She would be in a fetal position with the rest of us right?!!!!!

kdeweb said...

Like Tony, Jack is not dead.

Little Miss Chatterbox said...

If they killed Jack this early in the season they would lose 90% of their viewers including me!! So he's not dead.

tuffbeingright said...

Chloe might need the new Edgar to "comfort" her

tuffbeingright said...

9:58 - Okay, I'm not a chemistry major or anything. But if igniting the natural gas destroys the nerve gas, then why do we have to worry about the nerve gas being distributed in natural gas. Does anyone pipe straight natural gas into their homes? I'm pretty sure every means of natural gas delivery involves immediate ignition, doesn't it?

...excellent point, but it may require a high level of heat to 86 to nerve agent. You might not hit that level when cooking eggs.

Just a guess though.

BONEHEAD said...

Jack is dead. But don't be alarmed. Curtis will resurrect him with some Haitian Voodoo magic. Then Curtis will tell everyone his real name is Scaramanga, paint his face white, put on a big top hat with feathers in it and go off to do Sprite commercials.

Mr. Random said...

Why are they doing this? I am watching the next episode and then stop watching it until it comes out on dvd. Unless of course Jack is dead, then I will never watch 24 again.

Justin said...

Tony is dead. Get over it.

Jack, well I dunno. He may be, he may not be.

Anonymous said...

But for the fact of Aaron's saying ' I'm going to go check and see what happened '.... which we all know by now is a sure-fire highway to an ambush....these writers did it again.... they rock.

DAMMIT! Jack can not be dead......

The Man said...

12 deaths tonight? Not including Jack and HATO.

The Man said...

Jack has gas.

Natsthename said...

New Edgar WAS awesome unti the crack about Buchanan "touching" her. The look on Chloe's face was priceless!!

Fllinc said...

I guess that increasing the gas pressure would simply make the fluid turbulent instead of laminar. If so, it would not be possible for both of them to be mixed...

Anyway, I'm not sure that thing has any real value but that's the only thing I'd see about increasing or decreasing pressure in the pipes...

Justin said...

I channeled Jack and posted the results on my blog.

steve said...

I'm slow, but this week's 24isms is finally up.... especially like the one about the nerve gas going along with the natural gas... but nobody breathes natural gas, it is burned up in the furnace and what is left over is vented to the outside.

Bombtruck said...

Wow, Red has no fear. I mean, he has Jack Bauer-sized cajones. Taking on a whole team of hit men to protect Wayne with nothing more than a Glock and a nasty steely-eyed stare. GIVE THE MAN A SPINOFF ALREADY!!!

"You do NOT want to try me!!" Can that officially replace "Go ahead: make my day!" in the lexicon of great quotes-before-the-bad-guy-dies?

Audrey didn't do it with the Russian chick for the info? Crap, there went a whole cinemax version of 24 right there.

And gee thanks for trying to 'tease' whether or not Jack survives the plant explosion next week. Perhaps you missed season 2 where Jack survives a FREAKING NUCLEAR EXPLOSION! We are all waiting with baited breath for that to play out.

MJ06 said...

Alright how many people think that Jack should have shot Robocop in the upper thigh or above the knee cap like he did to his wife threw him in the back of the police car and then used the police car to book it out of there while all the natural gas tanks were exploding.

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