Point: I Know That You Want to Come Back to Me
Hey Jack Bauer, remember me? I'm sure you do, we spent a lot of time together. I know you don't have much time so I'll get to the point. Jack, I know you want to come back to me, come on and chase the dragon just once more.
Jack, we had some fun in Mexico - yes we did, denial is the first sign of a real problem that can only be cured by some sweet chiva. Remember that time you were on a 2 day bender and ran nude through that village outside Culiacán? How about when you spent an hour interrogating a goat on the whereabouts of The Three Amigos? He almost broke, maybe next time buddy. How about now?
You're under a great deal of stress, that's why you should let a little black tar take the edge off. It couldn't hurt your current situation - in the hull of a ship headed to China.
What are you waiting for, we don't have much time? The dragon won't chase itself.
Counterpoint: Jack doesn't need you anymore, heroin. He has me.
Previous Point-Counterpoint Posts
Point - New York and Connecticut Need Their Own Senators. by CBS Anchor Katie Couric
Counterpoint - Katie Couric Needs To Shut Her Pie Hole. by Chloe O'Brian
Point- I would make a kick-ass CTU Agent! by President Bush
Counterpoint- If I Were At CTU, None Of These Attacks Would Have Happened. by John F. Kerry
Point - Bauer, You're Out! by Jimmy "Da Hammer" Lopez
Counterpoint - Without Jack Bauer, the only cup you'd be drinking from is between your legs!- by Peter Gammons
Point- "We do not need Rack Bauer" by Chinese General Tso
Counterpoint - Jack's Coming To Thin Out Your Herd by President Logan
Point - It's time to give credit where credit is due. by Jack Bauer's manpurse
Counterpoint - That man-purse makes you look like a sissy. by Mr. Blackwell
Point - Jack Bauer's Threats Will Not Stop Iran's Nuclear Plans. by Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
Counterpoint - Keep It Up And We'll Give You Nuclear Weapons ASAP - Courtesy Of The B-2 Bomber. by Donald Rumsfeld
Point - Dude, I Wouldn't Hit That, Again. by Spenser Wolff
Counterpoint - A Guy Who Is Hung Like A Chinese Church-mouse Shouldn't Run His Pie-hole So Much. by Chloe O'Brian
Point - Don't Hold Your Breath; Heller's Dead. by Ted Kennedy
Counterpoint - Anything Is Possible. by Mary Jo Kopechne
Point - I'm Going to Kill Jack Bauer! by Christopher Henderson
Counterpoint - Henderson, You're As Good As Dead! by The Grim Reaper
Point- Jack Bauer Cannot Help Recover Your Money, Mr. Rakotozafy (I can) - by Nina Myers
Counterpoint- Everything Nina Myers says is bullsh*t. - by Jack Bauer
Point- Audrey Raines: Kick The Jack Habit Today! - by Dr. Phil (on loan from Match.com)Counterpoint - Audrey, stand by your man! - by Mary Jo Buttafuoco
Point - Thin Mints are an addictive narcotic - by Jack Bauer
Counterpoint - Thin Mints Are Only The Beginning - by Vladimir Bierko
Point - I'm going to make it! by Random Guard
Counterpoint - Nah, you're not. - by Death
Point - CTU needs better training for their security guards before something bad happens
Counterpoint - My teenage daughter could have stopped every incursion into CTU!
Point- 24:The Game Will Lead to More Violence
Counterpoint - Violence Makes The World Go 'Round
Point - Jack Bauer could not have shot down one of our AS 350 Ecureuil Helicopters with a handgun
Counterpoint - A redneck with a squirt gun could shoot down your euro-trash.
Point - It's Time To Turn Jack Bauer Over To The Chinese
Counterpoint - Confucius Say, "Man With Wandering Groin Accomplishes Little"
Point - Impeach Weasel, Dennis Kucinich For President
Counterpoint - Fox should fight off impeachment like Shelley Winters fought off diet cola
Point - They are already illegally wiretapping Jack Bauer's cell phone, whose next?
Counterpoint - The U.S. government does not violate our civil rights enough!