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Tuesday, February 06, 2007

24 Point/Counterpoint

If President Palmer had less of a backbone, he'd need a freakin' kickstand
by Dennis Miller

Don't get me wrong, I'm talking about the current President Palmer. His brother, ex-President Palmer was cool but also needs a kickstand, for other lead-induced reasons. Now the current President Palmer has created a leadership vaccum, in other words...he sucks. His leadership style is so gimpy that he makes former President Logan look like a Knute Rockne/General Patton clone with a dash of John Wayne. For Christ's sake, if he had less of a backbone, he'd need a kickstand.

Don't get me wrong, I would not hesitate to call the entire living Palmer family scumbags, but that, of course, would be a disservice to bags filled with scum.

Can you believe the Palmers want to portray our influx of friendly islamoscum as a group of victims? It's about time we put things right for the real victims, those are the 12,000 people that were recently vaporized in Valencia. Those poor souls disappeared quicker than a line of coke at a Kate Moss photoshoot. Now, I don't want to get off on a rant here, but I couldn't help but notice our President's scant attention to the rights of the recently nuked. It seems as if the President and his sister are looking for victims in the wrong place with the vigor of Senator Foley at a House Page retreat. How about directing a little energy towards the now-glowing portion of Southern California? Real Estate there is cheaper than a Foghat album at The Discount Dollar Barn. I guess what I'm trying to get at, is I want the president to be a little less like Oprah and a little more like Vigo the Carpathian.

As much as I hope that Jack Bauer and CTU will take the right course in tracking, torturing, and killing as many of these terrorists thugs as they can find, I recognize that the Palmers and other verbal defenders of our enemies fulfill a vital function in our democracy. Specifically, they give me somebody to hate whose name I can actually pronounce.

Of course, that's just my opinion. I could be wrong.

Counterpoint: That's not a backbone; this is a backbone
by Dennis Leary


Anonymous said...

I love these point/counterpoints. I just love them! Thanks for so many great, witty posts!

BUMBLE!!! said...

Finally, someone to help me spew vile hatred against evil Muslim CTU gal who sent Morris to his doom... it's only a matter of time until they interrogate her with the remainder of Graem's interrogation set and get this season going?

How long must we wade through the set up to get to some real killin' in season 6? 2 goons that were basically set to die in a Phil / Graem plot is not enough. We need more... much more.

At least Powers Booth and Thomas Lennox are setting things straight for the season.

Let there be the old 24 we know and love - not this watered down set up version (memories of the plodding last 2/3 of the first half of season 3 come back - oh give me the ending season 3 did).

If I can't have season 2 or 4 (the best), then at least make the last 12 episodes (and the next 2 hours next Monday) count for something!!

Anonymous said...

When I saw Powers Boothe, I knew the sleaze factor would go up ten-fold. I agree with yeah, him... let's get back to the "old" 24.

Jason said...

That is hilarious... I can totally hear Dennis Miller going off on this rant...
But I've got to stick up for the writers so far this season...
I've thought this season has been great so far. Don't lose faith...
Jack will kill!

Anonymous said...

Great job channeling Dennis Miller on that one! I love the obscure references...(of course, as Jack would say, "I don't have time to explain them right now! Chloe - upload Wikipedia to my PDA and I'll explain later!")