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Thursday, March 22, 2007

'24' Point-Counterpoint

Counterpoint: Puny Humans Will Achieve Nothing With Their Primitive Nuclear Weapons
by Morbo.

Tremble, puny humans, and hear the Counterpoint of Morbo! Weak and inferior Earth vice-president Jim Jones is proposing a pathetic "warning shot" to deter terrorist aggression. This strategy confuses and enrages us! A warning shot only alerts the enemy to your attack. Only a tiny inferior human brain could conceive of such a useless and impotent strategy!

Morbo does not see why the puny human known as Frau Blucher is concerned about the suffering of those who will be destroyed and irradiated by the nuclear weapon. Humans do not yet know the meaning of the word, suffering. Bwah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.

Morbo wishes to be clear on this, it is not the use of primitive nuclear weapons Morbo objects to. It is the ineffective use of primitive nuclear weapons. Nor is Morbo concerned about human casualties. All humans are vermin in the eyes of Morbo! To be effective, casualties should be maximized. The destruction of the weak, but populous, human cities of Tokyo and Paris would be a much stronger show of determination and will.

Certainly, Frau Blucher will object, pointing out that Japan and France had nothing to do with the terrorist attacks.

I WILL DESTROY HER!

About the Author: Morbo is anchor for √2 News, Entertainment and Alien Invasion Tonight, Good Morning Earth, and other shows on the √2 Television Network. He lives in Los Angeles with his wife Fawn and his numerous and belligerent children. Kittens give Morbo gas.

Point: Well, boys, I reckon this is it - nuclear combat toe to toe with the Aaarabs, finally!
By Major T. J. "King" Kong

4 comments:

steveegg said...

Substitute Moscow for Tokyo and you've got a deal.

I would've said Beijing, but Jack's already reserved that.

Jack Bauer said...

We don't think you have the guts to wipe out France. Go ahead and do it. We double dog dare you.

What are you waiting for?

glockspeak said...

Personally, I have always thought we should invade France. Beautiful countryside, wine, cheese, le Tour Eiffle, the Alps....

We TRIPLE dog dare you!

steveegg said...

France delata est!