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Wednesday, March 07, 2007

24 Point/Counterpoint

Point: Jack, let's think about this for a change
By: Jack's Guardian Angel

Now Jack. Before you go and cut off one of this nice man's fingers, lets just step back and take a deep breath. That's good. Doesn't that feel nice? Now this guy may have some information we may need, being mean will not get him to spill his guts. Jack, let's think about this for a change.

I am really proud of you Jack, for too long you went with your bad side without thinking things through. Remember the time you tortured Graham or the time you cut off Chase's hand or the time you broke that one dude's fingers or even the time you killed Nina or even when you shot Ryan Chappelle or the time you were mean to Tony or the time...well let's just cut to the chase. Remember the last time you stormed a foreign embassy to save the country? That's a good example of what happens when we don't think things through Jack.

Remember the Chinese embassy in LA? I guess we didn't think things through before going all Metal Gear and ending with that nice Chinese Guard getting a bullet in the back now did we?. That little mishap forced you to play dead and escape to Mexico, where you failed to listen to my advice and torched a bar after they enforced the "no pants no service" policy. After that you returned to California (again, against my advice) to play hero. Then the Chinese found out you were alive and they launched an elaborate scheme to kidnap and have a little fun with you for the past two years. Which brings us to today in the Russian embassy.

Jack, put down the cigar cutter before someone gets hurt.

Counterpoint: Kill 'em all. Let Putin sort 'em out.
by: Curtis Sliwa

8 comments:

NDwalters said...

(Evil Angel from Animal House chimes in) Ah, don't listen to that jackoff! Cut off his frickin fingers and get him to talk! you won't get another chance.....

(good angel)Jack, think about it. I'm proud of you, Jack.

(evil angel) You homo!

Sally said...

SO FUNNY!

Sally said...

Oops. I forgot to mention that the pic with Jack and Audrey (and the angel saying 'I give up') should be with MARILYN. Tcha!

glockspeak said...

Is Kim (Audrey) sitting down in this pic? Kief is 5' 10" and Kim is 5' 9" so either he's on a box or she's on her butt. You'd think Audrey would take a look around at Jacks' former loves: Teri = dead, Nina = dead, Marilyn = Married someone else, Kate = staying away, Claudia = dead LOL Not the best track record but then again, I couldn't stay away either!

steveegg said...

I can't wait for this counterpoint. I give the guardian angel exactly 17.2 seconds into it.

NDwalters said...

Or Jack's Bad Angel is more like Jay's angel from Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back....

"Hey hey hey! Do not whip that out! Keep it inside. Now, I'll see you later. I gotta go get two sucker punch taking little bitches! Snoogins!"

Marilyn Bauer said...

Audrey?! AUDREY?!?!?! WAH!!!!!!!! *scrunches up tearstained face*

steveegg said...

Is this week's Counterpoint classified?