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Wednesday, March 28, 2007

24 Point/Counterpoint

Point: This zombie president does not represent me!
by: Harris Johnson (1923-1967)

As a proud member of the walking undead, also known as "zombies", I'm outraged at the portrayal of one of our own on the show 24. The show has a zombie president that is trying to stop a war and promote peace and understanding and all that hippie crap. This zombie president does not represent me or anyone like me!

The Fox-TV show "24" is giving a new twist to its old standby: anti-zombie themes. This time around, a d
ark-complexioned zombie is the villain. Not stopping there, Fox has the zombie president as the worst kind of villain, a peaceful villain! Do they think the viewers are that stupid?

I tell you what, there's not going to be a demand for zombie President Palmer t-shirts.

Now in its sixth season, "24" has super agent Jack Bauer yet again bringing down Arab-American and Muslim-American bad guys while the lone zombie is responsible for holding back and cowering to these terrorists.

Jack Bauer has come out and stated that "I think the
zombie community within the United States is an incredibly vital, important aspect of this culture -- and to talk about any one group because of the actions of one zombie and lump them as a larger group of zombies is a very dangerous, dangerous situation." It is really hard to watch Jack try to hide behind Fox's blatant slap in the rotting faces of zombies everywhere. We have worked long and hard to gain a reputation as flesh eating monsters! Now Fox wants to put a positive spin on zombies? I hope the viewers are not duped into thinking that zombies are anything but walking corpses looking to feed on some fresh brains and a little flesh of the living.

In reality, why would zombies want to prevent nuclear war? The use of nukes would create many more zombies and also provide plenty of fresh food, radiated to kill off any diseases the host may carry. Personally, I was looking forward to a little halal dining until that bastard zombie Palmer put an end to it.

The blatant stereotyping of zombies on 24 has to end! Until zombie President Palmer starts munching on some frontal lobes, we will be holding rallies outside of Fox Headquarters. Come join us, it's BYOB. Ha Ha.... I kill you.



Harris Johnson is the president of Z.A.P. (Zombie Awareness Partnership)

12 comments:

Wyatt Earp said...

Chloe O'Brian has such a juicy, delicious brain! Mmm . . . brains!

heyhilbo said...

Curly Bill will find a clause in the Constitution about no Zombie citizens as President.

If Jack kills a Zombie, does it count?

Jack Bauer said...

If Jack kills a Zombie, does it count?

Well since zombies are already dead...I guess it would count for 0.5 points.

Bob said...

Well since zombies are already dead...I guess it would count for 0.5 points.

technically, zombies were dead. killing one, therefore, should count as a re-kill.

The Man said...

technically, zombies were dead. killing one, therefore, should count as a re-kill.

There are no re-dos in 24. Now if Jack dies and then comes back to life as a crime fighting zombie and kills the Zombie president, then it's a full kill.

RightWingConspiracy said...

There are no re-dos in 24.


Puh-leeeze. This whole fargin' season is a do-over.

Jack Bauer said...

There are no re-dos in 24.

Puh-leeeze. This whole fargin' season is a do-over.


No redos? A poor choice of words.

There are no redos on the kill counter.

yankz said...

The zombie storyline's been done before? Please tell me I didn't missed any Michelle Dessler Zombie action!

Jack Bauer said...

Yankz - Zombie Edgar ate her.

Bob said...

Zombie Edgar ate her.

Does Tony know?

Jack Bauer said...

Are you kidding? Zombie Tony injected what was left of her.

Bob said...

The zombie storyline's been done before?

Having trouble separating fantasy from fiction, YankZ? The zombie storyline is a B4B joint; the show did not reanimate Pres. MilkDudHed as the living dead in the show.

Or did it? Hard to tell.