Carnival of Bauer

Blog Archive








Add to Google




24 Fanatic

Forums4Bauer

Monday, March 12, 2007

LiveBlogging 6:00 - 7:00 P.M.

It's The Jack Sack here-

Greetings and welcome to my first crack at this LiveBlogging gig. Some of you may know me as The World's Deadliest Manpurse, but I'm just like everyone else here- I'm
thirsty for a high kill-count and some humorous, embarrassing interplay between Charles and Martha Logan (Pierce?). We're about 45 minutes out from start time as I'm writing this, so sit tight and enjoy flipping through channels, killing time until the "Bauer Power Hour" kicks off.

In preparation of my first live blog, I conscientiously noted several things I did today by their timestamp-- for example:

At 2:53 PM I had a pastrami on rye bread with mustard and a side of pickles (Kosher sours)
(File photo shown)

At 3:41 PM I purchased the soundtrack to "On Her Majesty's Secret Service" by the incomparable John Barry. If you love Bond movies, this is a must-have selection for your collection.

At 4:50 PM I caught the 4:30PM showing of "300" (gotta love the previews pushing showtimes back so far). There was a lot of "dudity" in the movie, but nothing of the full-frontal variety (thank God!). I give the movie a C+ in case any of you folks are keeping score. If you're into staring at the male physique, raise that score to a solid B.

Okay, 20 minutes to go...

Go-time!

The following takes place between 6:00PM and 7:00PM...

6:00-6:15PM:

Oh the cojones on Charles... doing the walk through CTU. I love those entrances!

Logan and Chloe! Chloe's "feeling ambivalent!"

Enter Mike Doyle, Curtis' replacement. I think Nadia is suddenly attracted to Ricky Schroder. Poor fella has had the same haircut since the '80s. Wait, so have I...

"Pressman" proves to everyone that he took Intro to Political Science back at state college. Oops, Doyle and "Pressman" have a history. Finally, some good ol fashioned hatred back in CTU!

Here comes kill #1... AND DONE! Adios, Vasily!

Nobody ever checks the drop-ceilings! That's Jack's go-to hiding place.

The phone cut off- DAMMIT!

Jack is no longer dispensible-- Duh!

Man, Logan is working the angles tonight. Enter Martha Logan- ex-wife status CONFIRMED!

Doyle is a psycho! "Pressman" has seen this all before. Morris is going to be hitting that bottle in three minutes if this keeps up. The man took a Makita 5/8 bit to the shoulder for crying out loud!

Back at the Sub-White House...

"The Man of the Hour" Tom Lennox is back in the hizzouse! This poor bastard has been neutered. Noah Daniels is making funny voices too! I love Powers Boothe. So dirty. Oh here comes the intimidator schtick- "I'm still TALKIN'!"

6:20- 6:26PM

Ah, back at the Legion of Doom makeshift HQs, everything is moving behind schedule...

Back-channels to Zubarov via Martha and Anya... Buchanan tells Daniels the politics of international war with Russia are "sticky." Atta boy, Bill. You took the same Poli Sci course as Milo, no doubt!

ENTER AARON PIERCE!!!!!!! The most dangerous grocery delivery boy on earth!

"Guarding Martha" is the new FOX romantic comedy sensation!

Martha making the moves. The chick is whacky but she still knows how to handle her men.

Pierce is owning his former boss. Mr. Logan has NO JUICE with the Secret Service anymore.

Oh this meeting will not go well! Get that bowl of peanuts ready, Aaron!

Ya know this "Shooter" movie looks pretty cool.

6:31- 6:37PM

That Logan chopper moves fast!

Buchanan is telling Logan that the Bauer Kill Count is about to jump into the double-digits tonight.

WTF is going on in that basement? Lock-down gets the Russian girls frisky!

Get those peanuts ready...

Aaron refuses to shake Chuck's hand. Logan: dissed again!

I forgot how much Martha drags down this show.

Oh... here it comes... Charles is such a wimp. "You look beautiful." Okay, here comes twenty seconds of plot exposition... go Charles, time is running out!!

Martha's opinion of Charles' punishment? A 10,000 sq. foot prison with tennis court and swimming pool ain't no punishment, Chuck!

6:42- 6:48PM

Doyle wants to start killing Ruskies... and I'm with him on that one.

The Sub-White House soap opera is back. Will Lennox play ball? Probably...

Daniels is off his meds, I think. He can't sit still. He's now waging war. The ambassador ain't blinking. But check his drawers, I think the ambassador just suffered an international incident.

Nadia, let's catch you up. Oh and now she's opining on the Logan strategy. Chloe just told Chuck to chill his peeps. Awesome.

Okay, peanut toss is coming up... OH MAN! "Does it bother you to see me with another man?" Aaron is dying in there. Get out, Aaron! Abort!!!

Is there a kill count for those kiwi fruit? I count five dead. Now she's got a knife. There's the TOSS! Was that a peanut? A kiwi fruit? A berry? I gotta rewind this scene later.

OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The knife!!!!!!!!!! Logan!!!!!!! WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You're killing this LiveBlogging rookie, Martha. I'm here trying to figure out what you threw at Chuck's head and you gotta go all Prison Yard on me! And Chuck was in complete shock, didn't even make a peep. Martha is going away to the padded room for the rest of the day. Wow. Buchanan has so much paperwork to fill out after this day is done.

6:53- 7:00PM

Martha, we know you just stabbed your ex, and now we need you to make a highly sensitive diplomatic call. Martha is freaking out Aaron. And me as well.

Doyle doesn't wear a tac team helmet. This man most definitely sleeps with an uzi under his pillow. Okay... kill counter is about to go off the needle!!!!!

Well, at least this gets the United States off the hook- Counsel Markov is not cooperating. Very very convenient. Damn, I was ready for The Cold War Part II.

Man, phone calls on Russian soil are a bitch!

All-out gunplay!!!!!! OH YEAH! Whoo-hoo!

Wait, Jack's out of bullets. Ya know, a Jack Sack would be pretty handy right about now!

Doyle meet Bauer. "We're going to be killing a lot of terrorists together!"

And back to Chuck... poor bastard is heart-broken and dead(?). His dying words: "Martha" Fin.

Wow. You guys gave me a freakin' doozy of an episode!

Well, that's what Live Blogging is all about, eh? Thanks for letting me have at it tonight- this was a roller coaster 60 minutes. I'm definitely putting this down on my resume when they ask how many words per minute can you type.

125 comments:

steveegg said...

Nice to see they didn't give you a transition episode.

Yeah Him said...

There will be more blood in this episode than all of this season combined (seeing as the nuke was basically "off camera"). Jack breaks his vicious escape potential (season 2's escape from near death on the OR torture table) and we get great 1 liners.

Yes, Bumble still believes in the ability of Jack to F**K up the program for ruskies, arabs, and all other anti-us slime.

Can we get a Hugo Chavez character to kill before the season is done?

Yeah Him said...

And don't forget Little Ricky Schroeder!!!!!!!

Wyatt Earp said...

Welcome aboard, rook! Don't embarrass us . . . as if that were possible.

steveegg said...

At least we won't need any "filler" this week.

Let the Rooskies hit the floor!

The Man said...

That sandwich looks mighty tasty.

steveegg said...

Don't worry; this will be better than me doing a Marcellus Wallace Counterpoint (mainly because he would have revoked the Russians' LA privileges).

The Jack Sack said...

The sandwich is still holding me over even though I ate it hours ago!

The Man said...

Miss Blogs4Bauer Update:

Teri Bauer (50%)
Collette Stenger (50%)
642 votes

steveegg said...

Now THAT'S a sandwich.

Now I'm going to have to hit the local deli for lunch tomorrow.

steveegg said...

Why couldn't the pollster come up with anything better than just whole percentages? We gotta get Chloe on it.

The Man said...

Jack Sack... What did you wash that tasty sandwhich down with?

steveegg said...

I guess we better start thinking about tiebreakers because we're in OT and if the numbers can be believed, we've still got a tie.

The Jack Sack said...

I had a Cherry soda, Dr. Brown's. Gotta love kosher delis, they stock that stuff by the truckload.

The Man said...

"I'm just Chloe O'Brian"

steveegg said...

Money says that Ricky doesn't last the episode.

Anonymous said...

Martha....MArtha....Martha

The Man said...

Ricky...Ricky...Ricky

steveegg said...

Two-One Zebra! And no, we're not turning the plane.

The Man said...

I want Ricky to lead in the tac team on a small electric train...

obscure Silver Spoons reference.

steveegg said...

There's a one-shot, and a couple minutes early.

The Man said...

Was that a kill?

bRight & Early said...

1

steveegg said...

I need a 7-spot before the end of the hour. Why couldn't he have said dammit earlier?

Tyler D. said...

Whosomehuhwhat?

steveegg said...

He's either dead or extremely and permanently sleepy.

The Man said...

Shooting Putin-looking dude (1 point)

The Man said...

Dude, get off your high horse. You are leading a tac team...odds are your men are already dead.

bRight & Early said...

who woulda thunk that Ricky could be a bigger CTU Ahole than Milo.

V the K said...

"O'Doyle rules!"

steveegg said...

who woulda thunk that Ricky could be a bigger CTU Ahole than Milo.

*raises hand*

Jim Jones' lips are moving, so you know what that means.

The Jack Sack said...

Daniels is a badass.

The nuclear option is on the table!

Anonymous said...

Powers Booth's face is not HD friendly...

Yeah Him said...

Doyle is a psycho... but Daniels is far worse!!!


let me get this on record... Logan has a hand in all that is going on.

steveegg said...

Hot rumor from National Review's The Corner via Hot Air (with the emphasis on hot) - we're going to have a Laura Ingraham sighting this hour.

steveegg said...

Dammit; President Cassidy is holding Ricky at his Positive Control Point.

The Man said...

RED where have you been?

Anonymous said...

MARTHA!!!!

The Man said...

I can imagine the Secret Service Detail with Hillary resmbles what Agent Pierce is going through...

steveegg said...

Actually, they'd have a much easier time with Martha.

steveegg said...

How original </sarcasm>; tease a movie about a Presidential assassination during "24".

Yeah Him said...

The Jack kills have begun! Now if we can just get back to the consulate instead of watching Martha "nutbag" Logan all night.

Seeing how that bizarre love triangle ends up is not what I want to be doing for the next 11.5 hours.

pickett said...

I can imagine the Secret Service Detail with Hillary resmbles what Agent Pierce is going through...

Aaron is barely resisting the urge to shoot Martha???

CP said...

I think the nickname for Martha (since she's in an institution) should be Mary Todd Lincoln.

V the K said...

Some of us have been calling her Mary Todd since Season 5

The Man said...

I can imagine the Secret Service Detail with Hillary resmbles what Agent Pierce is going through...

Aaron is barely resisting the urge to shoot Martha???


Something like that.

steveegg said...

Say a couple of dammits and start shooting, Jack. It's your way out of here.

The Man said...

Do Logan and Al Sharpton have the same haircut?

Anonymous said...

A freaking nuke went off 30 miles away 6 hours ago and they have 4 for tennis?

The Man said...

A freaking nuke went off 30 miles away 6 hours ago and they have 4 for tennis?

And a helicopter with the former president just landed next to the courts.

steveegg said...

Let's get the Logan Family Reunion done and over with.

steveegg said...

My guess is they're upwind, and it was a small (roughly 1 kiloton) nuke. 30 miles is more than safe.

Besides, it's SoCal; they probably thought it was just an earthquake.

The Man said...

Give Martha a drink and she'll do WHATEVER you want.

steveegg said...

Give Martha a drink and she'll do WHATEVER you want.

So you're saying that Mary Todd is what the loser of the first OT in the Miss B4B Contest is going to be in about 15 years?

Yeah Him said...

Seeing as we're dealing with nuts, I think it's just to show how out there and un in the world these people are.

And I agree - back to Jack and Ricky for some killin!!

The Man said...

Miss B4B Runoff update:

Teri Bauer (51%)
Collette Stenger (49%)

steveegg said...

I wonder if Suarov is speaking at the People's Central Air Defense Headquarters.

The Man said...

"This is taking forever"

Martha...you know what all 24 fans are thinking right now.

steveegg said...

Wasn't Mary Todd supposed to be in a looney bin? If so, why does she have access to sharp knives?

steveegg said...

Martha...you know what all 24 fans are thinking right now.

2 inches to the left, Mary Todd.

Now, what was that peanut?

steveegg said...

Did I just say 2 inches to the left? I meant 2 inches to the right.

Mark the Pundit said...

Well, now who didn't see that one coming?

The Man said...

24 Clue

Mrs. Logan in the living room with the sparing knife.

Anonymous said...

wow

tuffbeingright said...

sub-clavicle artery.... not good for mr logan, or the couch

Yeah Him said...

Guess I was wrong about that Logan as archvillain call and the premature thoughts of Mrs. Logan offing herself.

Martha Logan said...

OMFGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG what did I just do?!?!

Yeah Him said...

Good ol' Aaron... always there in times of crisis.

Mark the Pundit said...

Do we start a Martha Logan kill counter?

The Man said...

That was the "most shocking moment on 24" that the previews talked about?

God I hate watching this show sometimes.

tuffbeingright said...

bleed out in 5 min or less. lesson here kiddies: quick death comes from a 4" stab on either side of the neck.

steveegg said...

It's just a flesh wound.

Oh well, if we lose Ex-President Weasel, I guess that means that we'll have Ricky dead this hour as well.

The Man said...

Fox5NY Useless story:

"A 24 shakeup. Are they replacing Jack and with whom?"

The Jack Sack said...

Finally, 24 is back to surprising us again!

The Man said...

Someone needs to put some stain stick on that couch PRONTO!!!

steveegg said...

"I'm not crazy" = I'm effin' nuts.

tuffbeingright said...

"oh hi anya....oh nothing!"

tuffbeingright said...

there had better be some quick death asap....

pickett said...

There must be something in the 24 cast contracts about Presidents not dying a natural death...

tuffbeingright said...

thank god!

steveegg said...

Now, why does Putin want the ambassador dead?

steveegg said...

Two!

Mark the Pundit said...

What? You want to attack my country's embassy? Sure! Why not!

steveegg said...

That gun is far too big for Ricky.

Time for Jack to reload.

steveegg said...

Shadow Valley is about to get VERY bright.

Buh-bye Weasel.

Mark the Pundit said...

No silent clock for Logan. Oh well..

The Man said...

Shooting 2 dudes with a handgun (2 points, +2 combo) = 4 points

5 points total tonight

V the K said...

"O'Doyle Rules!"

USpace said...

We want Kim!

Mark the Pundit said...

Apparently in the preview there is a mole in CTU. SHOCKED! This has never happened before!

The Man said...

Next week: Jack wants to find out who is behind this. Seeing that we have 11 more episodes, I have a hunch he won't.

Bystander said...

So how long before 24 does a true Ricky Schroeder tribute and has Jack kill a bad guy with a silver spoon? "Because, you twit, it's dull, it'll hurt more!"

The Man said...

Final Tally

Teri Bauer (51%)
Collette Stenger (49%)

663 total votes

Yeah Him said...

At least there is action in the final episodes - even if there isn't any villains that have lines in the show.

steveegg said...

The pool on who is the mole is now open (again).

Give me 30 on the Token.

Yeah Him said...

The big question with the mole is how to make it someone other than the all too obvious Nadia.

The Man said...

The pool on who is the mole is now open (again).

Give me 30 on the Token.


Put $50 on Morris...yeah Morris.

Yeah Him said...

Other than Nadia, who else could it be? Milo, Chloe, Bill? Who even has a camera on them for more than 3 seconds of accidental footage?

Martha Logan said...

Oh, a mole... you don't say.

I'm not nuts, I just love my country!

The Man said...

Did anyone see Laura Ingram?

Yeah Him said...

the interrogation of Morris makes that a tough sell, but all things considered, the 24 fans of the world aren't ready to see Chloe go crooked

steveegg said...

I forgot to put my covering 10-spot on Milo.

Dark horse - RPT.

The Jack Sack said...

Guys,

I'm still catching my breath. Wow, that was a heck of an episode. Finally some craziness went down. And we still have to see where Phillip has been hiding. Can you say "Tijuana?"

steveegg said...

No, dammit!

At least I remembered to cover my a...er, source my intel.

steveegg said...

And we still have to see where Phillip has been hiding. Can you say "Tijuana?"

No, but I can say "Shadow Valley".

steveegg said...

...but all things considered, the 24 fans of the world aren't ready to see Chloe go crooked

Which is precisely why she's the dark horse. You know what they say about hairstyle changes and women....

Bystander said...

Still say Milo's the mole. Disappears for 9 in-show years, turns up as a higher up, dated Chloe off camera (we all know Chloe's judgment when it comes to the trustworthiness of the guys she's with), AND he manages to avoid the house bomb that got the rest of Jack's team and goes up against trained killers and escapes with a flesh wound? And let's not forget he's the one that gave Chloe the fake message about Morris' brother right before he's kidnapped.

USpace said...

That wacky first lady sure blew it, she'd be put away forever in a nut house...

absurd thought -
God of the Universe says
be a crazy bitch...
.

Jack Bauer said...

Fox 5 is reporting that someone may take the place of Jack Bauer...

They are (of course) not going to reveal it until later. However if they say "Ricky Shroder" I am going to stick my foot through the television.

Bystander said...

I vote Jason Bourne...after two years in a Chinese prison.

The Jack Sack said...

Those Fox 5 news teasers are baffling. Kiefer is signed on for two more whole seasons. And he's a producer. He ain't goin' nowhere!!

steveegg said...

Fox 5 is whacked. Say, didn't I see that cruise missile head into their transmission tower?

Yeah Him said...

And let's not forget he's the one that gave Chloe the fake message about Morris' brother right before he's kidnapped.

....

That call went through Nadia.

Yeah Him said...

Jack hasn't had a real sidekick since Chase in season 3 (tony was too much his own man). They should have kept him around. Too bad about that axe incident.

steveegg said...

Yeah him - I guess we're going to have to come up with a nickname for the Jack/Doyle tag team.

I vote for Manhattan because, like vermouth, a little bit of Ricky goes a VERY long way.

The Man said...

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

They just announced that Ricky Shroder could replace Jack Bauer!!!

O'Doyle Sucks!

steveegg said...

I can hear Chase now -

"I know Jack Bauer. I've killed with Jack, and I've tortured with Jack. You, O'Doyle, are no Jack Bauer."

I didn't want to loan out my nickname for my sorry-sack excuse of a governor, but since Jim "Craps" Doyle (WEAC/Potawatomi-For Sale) doesn't like me, it fits my mood over that bit of speculation.

Yeah Him said...

The real darkhorse in the mole situation is Ricky Schroder.

Give me 50 cyber dollars on him. Hell, I have to be right about some plot twist sooner or later.

Dave said...

"Jack hasn't had a real sidekick since Chase in season 3 (tony was too much his own man). They should have kept him around. Too bad about that axe incident"

The writers are just having trouble working out the handoff.

Sally said...

I think Morris is the mole because early in the season he was the one who knew about the private satellite that was flagged by Fayid's men, then he armed the nukes, then he speaks Russian to boot.

But I hope I'm wrong because overall, I really like Morris!

About O'Doyle--he can't be replacing Jack because my 'Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas' bumper sticker just would not sound the same if it said 'Superman wears Mike O'Doyle pajamas'. Savvy?

But I'm concerned because lately the episodes are not Jack-centric. They're very ensemble...

tw111 said...

Got 2B Milo... no one with such an annoying hairstyle can be a good guy.........

auzerais said...

I'd say that Jack is definitely losing it. Didn't anyone else notice that Jack completely overlooked taking the Russian guard's cellphone in the basement stairwell? What is it Jack, "take the gun, leave the canoli?"

You've been trying to call CTU and you leave behind the handiest cellphone while looking for a landline and satphone?

Plus, doesn't anyone in SoCal care anymore what nuclear fallout does to tennis whites?! But I guess, if you can get kiwis, your laundry can still get your play clothes denuclearized.

Lawrence Keeney said...

Mr. Sack

I'm glad you bought the OHMSS soundtrack, it's one of the best ones in the Bond series...even with the Louis Armstrong song therein.


Ever wonder what happened to John Barry?


Little Ricky Shroeder will end up biting the big toxic taco before the end of the season..watch and see.

he's a rebel said...

Maybe the show lately is ensemble because it's pretty clear Jack needs some help. I mean, if the audience sees it CTU maybe sees it too.

I kinda like it. It's like one big (not) happy family.

I really hope there's no mole from CTU. So predictable, and I'm kinda sick of CTU's human resources department being so craptastic.

Yeah Him said...

It looks like the previews gave away the mole or something like it... good ol' Penis Nose wrangled a spot in the next episode.

Thank God for Fox commercials ruining all of the surprise of the next week's episode.

I think we need to meet with Rupert Murdoch.