Carnival of Bauer

Blog Archive

Add to Google

24 Fanatic


Monday, March 12, 2007

24 Point/Counterpoint

Counterpoint: Kill 'em all. Let Putin sort 'em out.
by: Curtis Sliwa

Come on Jack, where's your spine? The old Jack Bauer I grew to love would have lopped off 8 fingers and a big toe by now. Stop thinkin' and start shootin'. Kill 'em all. Let Putin sort 'em out.

Now your guardian angel wants you to think things through. La-de-dah! Thinking never got anyone nowhere, except stuffed in a Gotti-owned Lincoln Towncar with two bullets to the brain. Now I know you don't want to end up in a shallow grave in New Jersey (again). No, thinking is just something you don't have a penchant for. Let's not even mention that you probably "don't have time" for it either.

Let me tell you how it should come down. Take off the other pinkie, then you should shoot him in the kneecap. Try saying something cool like "I don't like White Russians...I like em dead" before you shoot him in the head. Now don't let anyone let anyone know I told you this, but you have to hurry up because I put you down for 12 points on the B4B kill counter and we just hit the final commercial break.

One more thing, say "dammit" before you do it. Thanks.

Point: Jack, let's think about this for a change
By: Jack's Guardian Angel


Anonymous said...

Funny $hit.

steveegg said...

YES! I no longer have to try to channel Marcellus Wallace.

Dave said...

It just doesn't seem right without a reference to Vinnie *lip diddle* "The Chin" Gigante.