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Monday, March 26, 2007

LiveBlogging 8:00-9:00PM

The Jack Sack is back!

Two weeks ago, I participated in my first live-blog here at Blogs4Bauer. I was a fresh, clean little daisy amongst the filthy-minded denizens of this blog. Well, tonight I join the "dirty" contingent with a little Kim Bauer tribute of my own:
Yes, that's Kim Bauer holding her very own Jack Sack. I guess this is what George Costanza was talking about when he spoke of "flying too close to the sun."

We're a half-hour away from tonight's episode, so why don't you all just let that image soak in for now.

OK- It's go-time! The following takes place between 8pm and 9pm...

8:00-8:10 PM

The "dirty bomb" has everybody up in arms! And somebody is subverting CTU's system!

Ok, Jack is running point. Doyle is full of useful information. And we have a "Dammit." Jack has only an hour to find the other nukes. Obviously this will not happen, the show is called "24" not "14!"

Fayed has made up his mind, Gredenko is going to bite it right here. "I HAVE THE BOMBS!" Man was that... awkward. I just noticed the wedding band on Gredenko. Heh.

Oh Jesus, we have a "Rain Man" episode! No red food! Now plug-in Ray!

Back at CTU, Buchanan is helping Milo cope with the loss of Hottia. And here we have the timely and convenient revelation that Mark Hauser (Rain Man's brother) is the leak. Looks like Doyle made that Denver omlete too quickly. This cover-up thing sounds a bit too contrived. But it will give Jack reason to pound on Ricky later this season. That sounds fine to me!

8:14-8:24PM

Oh Wayne... my poor sweet Wayne! So, everybody EXCEPT the Vice President thinks this nuke strike is an "insane" idea. Karen is playing hardball here. Come on, Sandra, it's Wayne for crying out loud. It's not like you're working with the *real* President Palmer. David is gone! GONE!

Okay, the nuke will be a loud and clear message. The Veep is jonesing for some high-yield death. And he will not be denied! "Let's cut the crap, doctor." And the doctor is not backing down. Oh man, this is good stuff.

Okay, Hauser, get those cheese balls ready! I wonder how Rain Man is going to react to a Tac Team busting down the door? Oh man, what IS this show doing? Get the cheese balls! He's freakin' out! Say it, Jack... "My name is Jack Bauer" YES!

Brady is the man! The guy can't say a sentence without stumbling and then he drops the IT lingo like it's nothing. Brady Hauser. IT-savant! Okay, so now we have a nuke power plant in play. And Jack is using Rain Man to catch Gredenko. Oy, this ain't gonna work...

Mid-point thoughts- is Brady "Rain Man" Hauser going to set off protests from the IT community for it's stereotypical portrayal of social dysfunction? I mean everybody else seems to be upset with how "24" portrays them on the show...

8:28-8:34PM

Jack's new partner- Brady the Wonder-Boy! Man, Jack goes from a Chinese prison to handling idiot-savants. And the patience he's exhibiting is... super-human. Come on, Jack, just yell "Dammit!" at Brady once... please! I know, that's a mean wish, but I'm like that sometimes. And Gredenko "knows" about Brady. Man, that sucks.

Interesting stuff going down at CTU. This guy is setting up Doyle! And what's going on with Morris? Wah? Okay, so Doyle was not covering up Nadia's innocence. Me confused. Milo and Doyle are friends? Doyle is an okay guy? Johnson is a dead-duck! Man, what DID happen in Denver. Very confusing stuff...

Okay, FYI, comments are not working well tonight. Blogger is all messed up.

8:38-8:49PM

A non-sweaty Nadia. Boo!!!! Oh she's definitely not smiling. Buchanan: "We need you, Nadia." Hell yeah! How about she takes a shower? Just a quick scene. And Chloe is busting Milo's chops. Ah, Chloe, they need to give you 1,000% more dialogue. Now, Milo is going to make his move... Ohh, another "Dammit!" Oh DAMN! Mercy, turn on the AC in CTU, it's gettin' hot in here! Come on, Nadia, I'm a million times more virile and willing to stick up for you. I always thought you were innocent, Nadia! Milo is a punk! Damn... they're gonna be an item... oh well.

Back at the Sub-White House... Sandra tells Karen that David was a better man than everybody in the family. Yeah. We know. Wayne is crashing! David would have come out of that coma no problemo.

"Dammit" again from Jack. But he didn't yell it at Brady. That doesn't count! Man, Jack is so gentle. It's like he's a completely different person. Did he volunteer with the handicapped back in college? Brady is pooping his pants. Get that guy some cheese balls- STAT!

Charlie Team can't get a line of sight! Come on, Rain Man! Move! MOVE! Come on, cheese balls! Oh yeah!!! THAT was vintage Bauer.

And sadly, Brady is a better field agent than Milo. Somebody please tell Nadia that Brady is single.

8:53-9:00PM

Jack loves Brady. That was too friggin' adorable to handle. Ok, now Gredenko is going to get the "Bauer Special." Jack ain't playing around! But Gredenko is asking for the Presidential pardon/amnesty package. Ah, naked Mandy is giggling somewhere in the Bahamas over that 'ol value meal special.

Ok, nuke time!!!!!!!! Proceed with the strike! No delays! Lennox is going to get bitten. Oh crap, they're really going to launch that nuke. Wah... WOAH- PRESIDENT PALMER IS BACK IN DA HIZZOUSE!

Somebody is about to get fired. "Noah, it's Wayne..." Do the Trump line... come on, fire the man!!! Do it! Dammit, David would have fired Noah. Come on, Wayne! Fire the dude!

Crap. Daniels is going Constitutional! Fire the man! DAMMIT!!!!

94 comments:

The Man said...

First

The Man said...

Did you photoshop the pastrami on Rye out of the image of Kim?

The Jack Sack said...

It IS a family blog... sort of. You want it back in?

The Man said...

"You want it back in?"

That's what she said....

Anonymous said...

Any Prison Break fans out there?

steveegg said...

We're definitely off to a rolling start, aren't we?

steveegg said...

Prison Break? Wasn't that season 2? :-)

Seriously, I got in on that too late.

steveegg said...

Early/late on the silent clock for Prez Chapelle - 8:29 pm.

"Viewer discretion is advised" - that's why I'm here and not on nBC

The Man said...

Once again...it's a good thing SEason 5 Jack could pilot better than Season 6 Jack.

steveegg said...

The seat-of-the-pants feeling can't be overstated.

THREE!

The Man said...

Shot one more dude (1 point, +4 combo)

The Man said...

Last week's total: 9 points!

lawhawk said...

I want back in... been away on a super secret mission to a far away exotic land, and I see that all heck has broken loose and the VP wants to be Gen. Buck Turgidson and drop a few nukes...

steveegg said...

That means I miscalculated on my guess for this week. Kindly revise me up to 9.

Anonymous said...

Mole

Jack Bauer said...

blogger sucks

Jack Bauer said...

Jack Sack..

Each time you edit the post, it turns off comments.

steveegg said...

DAMMIT! The rads got to Google/Blogger.

Cynthia McKinney is upholding the "fine" female Palmer tradition.

Jack Bauer said...

Kmart sucks

lawhawk said...

Blogger sucks... Rainman sucked. And that is no Dustin or Tom.

steveegg said...

Didn't we try hitting nuclear power plants in season 4?

The Man said...

Chatting with the Pen is the worst show on TV.

Tyler D. said...

Comments are now working? I was wondering what the deal was.

The Man said...

Didn't we try hitting nuclear power plants in season 4?

Nuclear meltdowns. That is how Edgar's grandmother bought the farm

The Jack Sack said...

blogger is acting up for me on my end as well.

The Man said...

Oopp... I meant Edgar's mother...

steveegg said...

Rads kill no matter how they're released.

Rain Man understanding the problem.

The Man said...

What is up with Jack only winging people?

steveegg said...

Denver on the case of Milo. MOLE ACTION STARBOARD!

steveegg said...

What is up with Jack only winging people?

He needs info, and dead men don't talk.

The Man said...

Doyle is getting screwed by a big Johnson.....

steveegg said...

Ricky Schroeder doesn't make friends easily, does he? How he has Big Johnson mad at him.

The Man said...

Ok... I think Johnson is the first character on 24 that VtheK doesn't have to nickname.

The Jack Sack said...

So, Blogger chooses for "24" to be on for it to act up.

The Man said...

So, Blogger chooses for "24" to be on for it to act up.

Mole

steveegg said...

Time for some action between Token and Chiggy. We won't get a smile though.

Tyler D. said...

I poop on blogger.

The Man said...

Nadia...welcome back to work. At CTU our HR department actually has a program for people who have been wrongly fingered as moles and tortured...see it happens a lot.

steveegg said...

Am I seeing things, or was that a smile from RPT?

Kemper taking charge with the Aywana.

The Man said...

Veggie Tales

steveegg said...

Aywana has to be some kind of mole; she realizes just how f'ed up relationships get at CTU.

See:
Bauer and Myers
Almeida and Myers
Edmunds and Bauer
Almeida and Dessler
O'Brian and O'Brian

Chapelle crashing.

The Man said...

Charlie team is dead meat.

Mark the Pundit said...

Oh this does not end well for Rainman...

The Man said...

$10 says rainman screws it up.

steveegg said...

I'll add $10 - that means we'll each get $0.50.

Boris the Blade orders the hit on Rain Man. Rain Man is in the way.

steveegg said...

ONE!

The Man said...

1

steveegg said...

I guess we're out $10 apiece, TM.

The Man said...

Go rainman!

The Man said...

I guess we're out $10 apiece, TM.

Add that to my NCAA losses....

lawhawk said...

Edgar keeps eating my comments.

steveegg said...

You had Wisconsin too? My only saving grace is Georgetown, which could get me back up to 6th in my 19-team group.

The Jack Sack said...

Like I said in the article, somebody needs to tell Nadia that Brady is a better field agent than Milo. And he's (presumably) single too!

The Man said...

Useless Fox5NY 24 story:

The president is in a coma. What is next for President Palmer?

steveegg said...

And sadly, Brady is a better field agent than Milo.

Who isn't? Oh that's right, Al Bundy folded after a nick from Mr. Black & Decker.

The Man said...

I had Memphis...Wisconsin did screw me.

steveegg said...

The president is in a coma. What is next for President Palmer?

Rigor mortis, followed by a state funeral.

steveegg said...

lawhawk - get Chloe on it.

steveegg said...

Standard bad guy terms with a twist - no return to Mudder Russia.

lawhawk said...

I don't know where they are, but I know where to find them? Oh, is that a deal in your pocket, or are you happy to see me?

USpace said...

KIM!!!

absurd thought -
God of the Universe says
it's torture time...
.

Bystander said...

pardon from the government, perhaps, but not from Jack Bauer!

The Man said...

Call Fayed.

His number is probably 310-597-8951

Tyler D. said...

Next week is going to be good. A nuke and the torture of Boris the Blade.

steveegg said...

Jim Jones - We are EWO, dammit!

tuffbeingright said...

i like this vp!

Tyler D. said...

NOOOOOO!!!

lawhawk said...

President Palmer from beyond the grave has given the order...

steveegg said...

Chapelle turned the plane. Will Jim Jones have the balls to try again?

USpace said...

absurd thought -
God of the Universe
score one for the dhimmi
.

tuffbeingright said...

damn that president palmer!!!

steveegg said...

Now, redeem yourself, Chappelle. Order Two-One Zebra.

USpace said...

absurd thought -
God of the Universe says
overthrow president
.

lawhawk said...

Heh... he IS Al Haig

The Man said...

"Get me the Attorney General"

--he's got his own problems honcho.

The Jack Sack said...

Wayne only goes half the distance. DAMMIT!

The Man said...

PResident Palmer is a zombie!

"Calll off the strike and get me some BRAINS!!!"

steveegg said...

I don't need your civil war.
It feeds the Russians while it burys the poor.

The Man said...

Next week....Jack shoots more bad guys and plenty of 24 filler in between.

Mark the Pundit said...

Wow - judging by the previews for next week, Palmer has recovered quite nicely from brain swelling and an induced coma...

steveegg said...

PResident Palmer is a zombie!

"Calll off the strike and get me some BRAINS!!!"


We'll have to order out for that, Mr. Zombie Prez.

steveegg said...

Mark - you do realize the male Palmers do have mutant healing powers.

NDwalters said...

Milo, you frickin pimp! Wayne, how the hell did you heal so quickly?

Uh oh, time for Wopner, time for Wopner!

The Man said...

We'll have to order out for that, Mr. Zombie Prez.


I guess with Karen and Sandra in the room, the pickins are slim

USpace said...

President Palmer seems certainly lucid, will the VP try to have his plug pulled? There seem to be no SS guarding The President. WOW, what a boring day it must be...

absurd thought -
God of the Universe says
never use NUKES...
.

NDwalters said...

OK, I hate to slam the show, but tonight's episode may be sliding 24 in Jumped Shark turf! Jumping the Shark and sumbitch Ted McGinley is nowhere in sight! Whose fault is this? Joel Surnow? Maybe. Nope, try the writers from Moron.org and CAIR. The same bastards that ruined the Simpsons....

Rob Carr said...

Rainman starts the technobabble and they cut to Jack Bauer with this blank look on his face, and you can almost see the thought bubble: "He sounds EXACTLY like Chloe, and I never understand what she's going on about, either."

Is Rainman the first civilian to help Jack that lives through the experience?

Nancy points out that the season's not over yet. She still thinks Rainman's gonna die.

NDwalters said...

OK, speaking of plot holes, where did Zephraim Cochrane, aka Darth Bauer go to? Surely this is not the last we've seen of Darth Bauer?

Or, how about Jack Bauer Jr. aka Josh. Did he get written out or is he auditioning for the albino kid role in Deliverance?

steveegg said...

Is Rainman the first civilian to help Jack that lives through the experience?

Not quite. There's the two Muslim sporting goods store owners from Season 4 (though one of them did get shot, the Bauer Improvised Bulletproof Vest saved him).

yankz said...

What a sexy rape kiss from Milo. Tony and Michelle, they ain't. Dammit Hottia is so fine.

How many of us were convinced Rain Man was going to bite the dust?

WHAT happened to Logan?

The writers keep going over the top, I'm not sure Jack's going to make it this season.

Yeah Him said...

I guess 24 had to do a very special episode to feature on some crisis in society for awareness and the like. And you know that when that happens, everybody survives (including the brother who was dealing with Gradenko) and it's smiles and lessons learned AND WHAT THE HELL happened to the best show on television?

How can we have 9 episodes to go and still be this far removed from a coherent plot to take us through all of these remaining hours?

Somebody please stick a needle in the heart and give it some epi.

Dr FeelGood said...

I have never seen someone "code" and be fully awake and on the phone 5 minutes later.

glockspeak said...

WTF happened to Logan? WTF happened to Dad Bauer? If I have to see Milo kiss anyone again, I may have to start shooting. I nearly vomited. And yes Chloe smiled, wasn't that cute. I miss the eye rolls. Speaking of eye rolls, man Jack could've just ice picked Gredenko just for the trouble he's caused so far. Just for fun. Come on. I mean, let's get seriously pissed off here, ok? And Doyle "oh, you've screwed with the wrong guy for the last time", listen turd, if Johnson had screwed with Bauer JUST ONCE, he'd be dead so you're "cross this line you die, OK, OK, cross THIS line you die" threats are pphlllllplphtt! (insert raspberry here)

pickett said...

OK, when the doctor said that Palmer was crashing, who else thought "It will be OK. He has Allstate's accident forgiveness plan"