Two weeks ago, I participated in my first live-blog here at Blogs4Bauer. I was a fresh, clean little daisy amongst the filthy-minded denizens of this blog. Well, tonight I join the "dirty" contingent with a little Kim Bauer tribute of my own:
Yes, that's Kim Bauer holding her very own Jack Sack. I guess this is what George Costanza was talking about when he spoke of "flying too close to the sun."We're a half-hour away from tonight's episode, so why don't you all just let that image soak in for now.
OK- It's go-time! The following takes place between 8pm and 9pm...
8:00-8:10 PM
The "dirty bomb" has everybody up in arms! And somebody is subverting CTU's system!
Ok, Jack is running point. Doyle is full of useful information. And we have a "Dammit." Jack has only an hour to find the other nukes. Obviously this will not happen, the show is called "24" not "14!"
Fayed has made up his mind, Gredenko is going to bite it right here. "I HAVE THE BOMBS!" Man was that... awkward. I just noticed the wedding band on Gredenko. Heh.
Oh Jesus, we have a "Rain Man" episode! No red food! Now plug-in Ray!
Back at CTU, Buchanan is helping Milo cope with the loss of Hottia. And here we have the timely and convenient revelation that Mark Hauser (Rain Man's brother) is the leak. Looks like Doyle made that Denver omlete too quickly. This cover-up thing sounds a bit too contrived. But it will give Jack reason to pound on Ricky later this season. That sounds fine to me!
8:14-8:24PM
Oh Wayne... my poor sweet Wayne! So, everybody EXCEPT the Vice President thinks this nuke strike is an "insane" idea. Karen is playing hardball here. Come on, Sandra, it's Wayne for crying out loud. It's not like you're working with the *real* President Palmer. David is gone! GONE!
Okay, the nuke will be a loud and clear message. The Veep is jonesing for some high-yield death. And he will not be denied! "Let's cut the crap, doctor." And the doctor is not backing down. Oh man, this is good stuff.
Okay, Hauser, get those cheese balls ready! I wonder how Rain Man is going to react to a Tac Team busting down the door? Oh man, what IS this show doing? Get the cheese balls! He's freakin' out! Say it, Jack... "My name is Jack Bauer" YES!
Brady is the man! The guy can't say a sentence without stumbling and then he drops the IT lingo like it's nothing. Brady Hauser. IT-savant! Okay, so now we have a nuke power plant in play. And Jack is using Rain Man to catch Gredenko. Oy, this ain't gonna work...
Mid-point thoughts- is Brady "Rain Man" Hauser going to set off protests from the IT community for it's stereotypical portrayal of social dysfunction? I mean everybody else seems to be upset with how "24" portrays them on the show...
8:28-8:34PM
Jack's new partner- Brady the Wonder-Boy! Man, Jack goes from a Chinese prison to handling idiot-savants. And the patience he's exhibiting is... super-human. Come on, Jack, just yell "Dammit!" at Brady once... please! I know, that's a mean wish, but I'm like that sometimes. And Gredenko "knows" about Brady. Man, that sucks.
Interesting stuff going down at CTU. This guy is setting up Doyle! And what's going on with Morris? Wah? Okay, so Doyle was not covering up Nadia's innocence. Me confused. Milo and Doyle are friends? Doyle is an okay guy? Johnson is a dead-duck! Man, what DID happen in Denver. Very confusing stuff...
Okay, FYI, comments are not working well tonight. Blogger is all messed up.
8:38-8:49PM
A non-sweaty Nadia. Boo!!!! Oh she's definitely not smiling. Buchanan: "We need you, Nadia." Hell yeah! How about she takes a shower? Just a quick scene. And Chloe is busting Milo's chops. Ah, Chloe, they need to give you 1,000% more dialogue. Now, Milo is going to make his move... Ohh, another "Dammit!" Oh DAMN! Mercy, turn on the AC in CTU, it's gettin' hot in here! Come on, Nadia, I'm a million times more virile and willing to stick up for you. I always thought you were innocent, Nadia! Milo is a punk! Damn... they're gonna be an item... oh well.
Back at the Sub-White House... Sandra tells Karen that David was a better man than everybody in the family. Yeah. We know. Wayne is crashing! David would have come out of that coma no problemo.
"Dammit" again from Jack. But he didn't yell it at Brady. That doesn't count! Man, Jack is so gentle. It's like he's a completely different person. Did he volunteer with the handicapped back in college? Brady is pooping his pants. Get that guy some cheese balls- STAT!
Charlie Team can't get a line of sight! Come on, Rain Man! Move! MOVE! Come on, cheese balls! Oh yeah!!! THAT was vintage Bauer.
And sadly, Brady is a better field agent than Milo. Somebody please tell Nadia that Brady is single.
8:53-9:00PM
Jack loves Brady. That was too friggin' adorable to handle. Ok, now Gredenko is going to get the "Bauer Special." Jack ain't playing around! But Gredenko is asking for the Presidential pardon/amnesty package. Ah, naked Mandy is giggling somewhere in the Bahamas over that 'ol value meal special.
Ok, nuke time!!!!!!!! Proceed with the strike! No delays! Lennox is going to get bitten. Oh crap, they're really going to launch that nuke. Wah... WOAH- PRESIDENT PALMER IS BACK IN DA HIZZOUSE!
Somebody is about to get fired. "Noah, it's Wayne..." Do the Trump line... come on, fire the man!!! Do it! Dammit, David would have fired Noah. Come on, Wayne! Fire the dude!
Crap. Daniels is going Constitutional! Fire the man! DAMMIT!!!!
91 comments:
First
Did you photoshop the pastrami on Rye out of the image of Kim?
It IS a family blog... sort of. You want it back in?
"You want it back in?"
That's what she said....
Any Prison Break fans out there?
We're definitely off to a rolling start, aren't we?
Prison Break? Wasn't that season 2? :-)
Seriously, I got in on that too late.
Early/late on the silent clock for Prez Chapelle - 8:29 pm.
"Viewer discretion is advised" - that's why I'm here and not on nBC
Once again...it's a good thing SEason 5 Jack could pilot better than Season 6 Jack.
The seat-of-the-pants feeling can't be overstated.
THREE!
Shot one more dude (1 point, +4 combo)
Last week's total: 9 points!
I want back in... been away on a super secret mission to a far away exotic land, and I see that all heck has broken loose and the VP wants to be Gen. Buck Turgidson and drop a few nukes...
That means I miscalculated on my guess for this week. Kindly revise me up to 9.
Mole
blogger sucks
Jack Sack..
Each time you edit the post, it turns off comments.
DAMMIT! The rads got to Google/Blogger.
Cynthia McKinney is upholding the "fine" female Palmer tradition.
Kmart sucks
Blogger sucks... Rainman sucked. And that is no Dustin or Tom.
Didn't we try hitting nuclear power plants in season 4?
Chatting with the Pen is the worst show on TV.
Comments are now working? I was wondering what the deal was.
Didn't we try hitting nuclear power plants in season 4?
Nuclear meltdowns. That is how Edgar's grandmother bought the farm
blogger is acting up for me on my end as well.
Oopp... I meant Edgar's mother...
Rads kill no matter how they're released.
Rain Man understanding the problem.
What is up with Jack only winging people?
Denver on the case of Milo. MOLE ACTION STARBOARD!
What is up with Jack only winging people?
He needs info, and dead men don't talk.
Doyle is getting screwed by a big Johnson.....
Ricky Schroeder doesn't make friends easily, does he? How he has Big Johnson mad at him.
Ok... I think Johnson is the first character on 24 that VtheK doesn't have to nickname.
So, Blogger chooses for "24" to be on for it to act up.
So, Blogger chooses for "24" to be on for it to act up.
Mole
Time for some action between Token and Chiggy. We won't get a smile though.
I poop on blogger.
Nadia...welcome back to work. At CTU our HR department actually has a program for people who have been wrongly fingered as moles and tortured...see it happens a lot.
Am I seeing things, or was that a smile from RPT?
Kemper taking charge with the Aywana.
Veggie Tales
Aywana has to be some kind of mole; she realizes just how f'ed up relationships get at CTU.
See:
Bauer and Myers
Almeida and Myers
Edmunds and Bauer
Almeida and Dessler
O'Brian and O'Brian
Chapelle crashing.
Charlie team is dead meat.
$10 says rainman screws it up.
I'll add $10 - that means we'll each get $0.50.
Boris the Blade orders the hit on Rain Man. Rain Man is in the way.
ONE!
I guess we're out $10 apiece, TM.
Go rainman!
I guess we're out $10 apiece, TM.
Add that to my NCAA losses....
Edgar keeps eating my comments.
You had Wisconsin too? My only saving grace is Georgetown, which could get me back up to 6th in my 19-team group.
Like I said in the article, somebody needs to tell Nadia that Brady is a better field agent than Milo. And he's (presumably) single too!
Useless Fox5NY 24 story:
The president is in a coma. What is next for President Palmer?
And sadly, Brady is a better field agent than Milo.
Who isn't? Oh that's right, Al Bundy folded after a nick from Mr. Black & Decker.
I had Memphis...Wisconsin did screw me.
The president is in a coma. What is next for President Palmer?
Rigor mortis, followed by a state funeral.
lawhawk - get Chloe on it.
Standard bad guy terms with a twist - no return to Mudder Russia.
I don't know where they are, but I know where to find them? Oh, is that a deal in your pocket, or are you happy to see me?
KIM!!!
absurd thought -
God of the Universe says
it's torture time...
.
pardon from the government, perhaps, but not from Jack Bauer!
Call Fayed.
His number is probably 310-597-8951
Next week is going to be good. A nuke and the torture of Boris the Blade.
Jim Jones - We are EWO, dammit!
i like this vp!
NOOOOOO!!!
President Palmer from beyond the grave has given the order...
Chapelle turned the plane. Will Jim Jones have the balls to try again?
absurd thought -
God of the Universe
score one for the dhimmi
.
damn that president palmer!!!
Now, redeem yourself, Chappelle. Order Two-One Zebra.
absurd thought -
God of the Universe says
overthrow president
.
Heh... he IS Al Haig
"Get me the Attorney General"
--he's got his own problems honcho.
Wayne only goes half the distance. DAMMIT!
PResident Palmer is a zombie!
"Calll off the strike and get me some BRAINS!!!"
I don't need your civil war.
It feeds the Russians while it burys the poor.
Next week....Jack shoots more bad guys and plenty of 24 filler in between.
PResident Palmer is a zombie!
"Calll off the strike and get me some BRAINS!!!"
We'll have to order out for that, Mr. Zombie Prez.
Mark - you do realize the male Palmers do have mutant healing powers.
Milo, you frickin pimp! Wayne, how the hell did you heal so quickly?
Uh oh, time for Wopner, time for Wopner!
We'll have to order out for that, Mr. Zombie Prez.
I guess with Karen and Sandra in the room, the pickins are slim
President Palmer seems certainly lucid, will the VP try to have his plug pulled? There seem to be no SS guarding The President. WOW, what a boring day it must be...
absurd thought -
God of the Universe says
never use NUKES...
.
OK, I hate to slam the show, but tonight's episode may be sliding 24 in Jumped Shark turf! Jumping the Shark and sumbitch Ted McGinley is nowhere in sight! Whose fault is this? Joel Surnow? Maybe. Nope, try the writers from Moron.org and CAIR. The same bastards that ruined the Simpsons....
Rainman starts the technobabble and they cut to Jack Bauer with this blank look on his face, and you can almost see the thought bubble: "He sounds EXACTLY like Chloe, and I never understand what she's going on about, either."
Is Rainman the first civilian to help Jack that lives through the experience?
Nancy points out that the season's not over yet. She still thinks Rainman's gonna die.
OK, speaking of plot holes, where did Zephraim Cochrane, aka Darth Bauer go to? Surely this is not the last we've seen of Darth Bauer?
Or, how about Jack Bauer Jr. aka Josh. Did he get written out or is he auditioning for the albino kid role in Deliverance?
Is Rainman the first civilian to help Jack that lives through the experience?
Not quite. There's the two Muslim sporting goods store owners from Season 4 (though one of them did get shot, the Bauer Improvised Bulletproof Vest saved him).
What a sexy rape kiss from Milo. Tony and Michelle, they ain't. Dammit Hottia is so fine.
How many of us were convinced Rain Man was going to bite the dust?
WHAT happened to Logan?
The writers keep going over the top, I'm not sure Jack's going to make it this season.
I guess 24 had to do a very special episode to feature on some crisis in society for awareness and the like. And you know that when that happens, everybody survives (including the brother who was dealing with Gradenko) and it's smiles and lessons learned AND WHAT THE HELL happened to the best show on television?
How can we have 9 episodes to go and still be this far removed from a coherent plot to take us through all of these remaining hours?
Somebody please stick a needle in the heart and give it some epi.
I have never seen someone "code" and be fully awake and on the phone 5 minutes later.
WTF happened to Logan? WTF happened to Dad Bauer? If I have to see Milo kiss anyone again, I may have to start shooting. I nearly vomited. And yes Chloe smiled, wasn't that cute. I miss the eye rolls. Speaking of eye rolls, man Jack could've just ice picked Gredenko just for the trouble he's caused so far. Just for fun. Come on. I mean, let's get seriously pissed off here, ok? And Doyle "oh, you've screwed with the wrong guy for the last time", listen turd, if Johnson had screwed with Bauer JUST ONCE, he'd be dead so you're "cross this line you die, OK, OK, cross THIS line you die" threats are pphlllllplphtt! (insert raspberry here)
OK, when the doctor said that Palmer was crashing, who else thought "It will be OK. He has Allstate's accident forgiveness plan"
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