Point: Well, boys, I reckon this is it - nuclear combat toe to toe with the Aaarabs, finally!
By Major T. J. "King" Kong
Listen here fellas, we have been given a impor-ant task here. Vice President Daniels wants us to nuke the dang Aaarabs. All I gotta say is it's 'bout time. Well, boys, I reckon this is it - nuclear combat toe to toe with the Aaarabs!
I don't give a hoot in Hell why we are a doin' it, now stop askin questions and someone get me the dang launch codes before the sun rises. My momma told me that you can put your boots in the oven, but that don't make em biscuits, meaning I'll be a spittin' cousin before I miss out on a chance to brandish some good ole American payback.
No, I don't much understand the politics behind it. Don't matter no how. All I know is that there President Palmer was makin some kinds of amends with a durn terrorist. That made as much sense as French toast sticks. Yeah, that Palmer thinks the sun come up just to hear him crow. Then he was blown up like a spring chicken on Labor Day! Yeaahhhaawww! So that makes Daniels the actin' President. Now 'scuse me, I gotta go arm 40 megatons-of-fun, so ya might want to not agitate me.
Before I let this here fly, here's somethin' to tell your thinkin' friends. There's 3 kinds of people: The ones that learn by readin', the few who learn by observation, and the rest of them who have to touch the fire to see for themselves if it's really hot. Well, it's 'bout to get real hot down there in the desert.
Counterpoint: Puny Humans Will Achieve Nothing With Their Primitive Nuclear Weapons