Point: This Season of 24 Sucks, I Blame Liberals.
by Bill O'Reilly
Hi, I'm Bill O'Reilly and in tonight's Entertainment segment, I have a beef with the show 24. What's wrong you ask? Well the show sucks, the plots are razor thin, and Audrey is back. Here are the top 2 issues that I see are facing Jack Bauer this season and why liberals are behind them.
Why not torture more? Because the liberal media says so.
The basis of the show is that Jack Bauer could and would torture anyone he could lay his hands on. Now the liberal media has forced CTU to limit it's use and and look where it has gotten us. Instead of torturing Gredenko, they inject a tracking device on him and we almost get nuked. Jack wasn't allowed to torture his own brother without supervision and look where it got us. When this day is over, the people at CTU and division need to respond honestly to this question, and if they can't, explain why.
What is taking Jack so long? Hybrids and Ethanol.
The mystery of how Jack Bauer got from Point A to Point B in LA during a commercial break has never been solved. Hell, last season he changed into a suit with a Windsor knot faster than Palmer can say "you are in good hands". However this season, Jack and CTU have been taking longer to travel relatively short distances. Jack even got caught in traffic, I blame it on the enviro-nutjobs pushing CTU to switch to hybrids and the use of Ethanol. Sure we need to save the planet, but don't make Jack shove corn stalks in his car while trying to prevent nuclear war. I don't care if Sean Penn wants you to switch; going green should not come hand-in-hand with getting nuked.
There you have it. Jack should ditch the hybrids and start torturing to turn this season around. He can start with Audrey.
Remember that I'm Bill O'Reilly and no matter what you say, I'll still be right. What say you?
Counterpoint: Jack Bauer Is the Worst Person in the World
by Keith Olbermann