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Monday, April 09, 2007

"Gosh, Blogs4Bauer, I'm pissed!" Chloe wants in on the Miss Blogs4Bauer contest Round 1!

We at Blogs4Bauer had a close call this week. Chloe O'Brian was busy datamining the NSA servers when she came across some backroom chatter about our highly hormone-driven "Miss Blogs4Bauer" beauty pageant. Chloe, curious as to her performance in the contest thus far, was shocked and appalled to see that she was NOT IN THE PAGEANT! We tried to apologize to Chloe for our oversight, and she responded by plaguing our computers with robust computer viruses. When we insisted that we couldn't change the bracket (it's been in place for weeks now) Chloe decided to "hack" into our system and put herself in the running. So, goodbye little Debbie Pendelton (Behrooz!) and hello Foxy Chloe. From this time forward, it is difficult for us at B4B to guarantee a "fair" contest. Chloe seems determined to win this one.

So, are you going to let Chloe hijack this pageant or will you choose her "crispy" competitor Michelle Dessler (pictured on the right) and side with democracy? VOTE NOW!

Who should move on?

Michelle Dessler

Chloe O'Brian


steveegg said...

Cheaters never win, Chloe, even if you are the best hacker that Michelle ever worked with.

steveegg said...

Besides, we wanted to save you the embarrassment. Now, you've drawn the toughest assignment this side of the cougar. Just ask Alvers and Saunders.


This message has been authorized and paid for by the Michelle4MissB4B Campaign, steveegg, treasurer.

Jack Bauer said...

I voted for Michelle just because I want to see Chloe's scowl when she loses.

steveegg said...

I noticed that Chloe took out the tale of the tape. Allow me to reconstruct it (with the Blogger comments limitation on not accepting the img tag) -

Pic of Michelle
Name: Michelle Dessler
Status: Too hot to handle
Occupation: Co-owner of a private security technology company, previously SAC-CTU LA
Strengths: Proficient in hand-to-hand combat, immune to the Cordilla virus, pure goodness
Weaknesses: Car bombs, soul patches
Curios detail: Was Jack's go-to technogeek before Chloe showed up.

Pic of Chloe
Name: Chloe O'Brian
Status: Pouting and now angry
Occupation: Top hacker at CTU
Strengths: Unmatched hacking ability
Weaknesses: Slimy co-workers, a face like a potato, social skills to match
Curious detail: Somehow survived an ambush.

pickett said...

Dammit, how did we get the two best seeds going against one another in the 1st round.

I blame the BCS.

Yeah Him said...

OH Michelle, how could you ever end up with Tony? Such a long slippery slide into getting bombed by the bad men that work for President Logan.

I sigh remembering your beauty.


Wyatt Earp said...

Pickett - I blame the BCS, too!

SVC Alumnus Blogger said...

I voted for Chloe because I'd like a date with the most gorgeous woman to be on television who knows how to use not just a computer, but a gun.

If I were Jack Bauer, I'd be running up my expense accounts to keep me on her good side. And I'd have her in the field with me with a laptop w/ a Nextel card, a submachine gun and a pistol - surefire way not to die.

Vote for Chloe - because you can. And because without her, Jack Bauer will be just as "dead" as Michelle.

steveegg said...

It was Chloe's foul-up that turned Michelle into a burnt briscuit? You want to reward that treachery?

As for the gunplay, I seem to remember Michelle had a way with the Glocks.

Authorized and paid for by the Michelle4MissB4B Campaign, steveegg, treasurer.

SVC Alumnus Blogger said...

steveegg, best of luck.

I've been watching 24 for only this season.

Tried to start from the beginning, but local video store lost a DVD from season one :-(.

That said, I DO really like Chloe!!!

steveegg said...

That bites. I could send you my copy of Season 1 (as long as I get it back).

SVC Alumnus Blogger said...

Thanks, but I'll probably join Netflix soon and start :-).

steveegg said...

I recommend seasons 2-4 (for obvious reasons).

Jack Bauer said...

SVC Alumnus Blogger - Check out Season 4, also known as the best season ever.

yankz said...

Season 2 is the best.

yankz said...

Also, I'm pretty sure it's illegal if Michelle doesn't win in a landslide. Coolest female ever on this show. And a babe.

Bob said...


I picked Michelle all the way through, and now the tournament committee is putting in No. 1 seed against her in the first round?

Is this op being run out of the White House, or what?

steveegg said...

Bob, they say that what doesn't kill us makes us stronger. This isn't going to kill us, I've got our best field agents on it (and no, they have never worn red shirts).

Besides, this is an opportunity to send a message to the Voodoo Kim Mafia and Nina.

steveegg said...

I am filing a protest against Chloe. She hacked into the MisterPoll system and stuffed the ballot box in her favor before she unleashed Nina's pet virus on it.

Treasurer, Michelle4MissB4B Campaign

BloodySam said...

There is no way that Chloe would beat Michelle in such a poll. There must be cheating involved... quite seriously. I have never seen a poll, discussion, character elimination game, whatever, in which Chloe beat Michelle. Go Michelle!

SVC Alumnus Blogger said...

Maybe Chloe has hyperactive hacker helpers... :-).

steveegg said...

Thanks for admitting you rigged the election. I am asking that Chloe be disqualified and damn the consequences.

SVC Alumnus Blogger said...

Hey, I'm not a hacker.

I just like Chloe, as does a good slice of the free world and Jack Bauer. Hell, next election I'll write her name in :-).

steveegg said...

An obvious lie; see the third reply. Besides, Jack made a promise to Tony.

Now, tell me who you're working for or I'll bring in Burke, dammit! Ah, tahellwitchit, I'll tell Jack you're working with Cheng. You'll be wishing for Burke.

SVC Alumnus Blogger said...

As of posting: 55-45 Chloe!

Bob said...

As of posting: 55-45 Chloe!

This is plainly idiotic. Michelle is (was) not only en fuego, she stood up under torture, she short-circuited dumb-ass protocols when our hero needed it, she got her jiggy on with the second coolest operator in the history of CTU, and ... and ... and ...

Chloe? Cripes. She's married to Miles O'Brien. Taht alone should DQ her from being Miss B4B.


yankz said...

Amen, Bob. Nothing like some good Michelle. What a sexy, sexy woman.

yankz said...

Michelle is closing the gap! Hooray!

steveegg said...

Yankz, if Michelle cannot overcome the technofraud, you have the full authorization of the Michelle4MissB4B Campaign to file any and all necessary protests, challenges, and such stuff.

I will be out of comm range before this time tomorrow.

Do NOT disappoint me; you don't want Jamaica to become the news this week.

yankz said...

I'm on it, Mr. Egg.

Ladies and gentlemen, we have a tie ball game! UNITE, fans of Michelle!

B4B Staff: Judging by the overwhelming majority of comments that support Michelle, is there some loophole you can exploit to push Michelle ahead if the unthinkable happens? Or is the final vote count the end-all, be-all? Dammit, I hate hanging chads!

steveegg said...

Keep up the skeer. Michelle is now listed first on the poll, though it's still 50/50.

Thanks again, yankz.

steveegg said...

As of 3:28 am, Michelle has a 51%-49%.

Continue Operation Skeer.