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Monday, April 09, 2007

LiveBlogging 10:00pm - 11:00pm

Good evening, everyone, my name is Wyatt Earp, and I will be your humble host for tonight's edition of Blogs4Bauer LiveBlogging. The festivities will begin in about thirty minutes, but I wanted to remind you to vote in this week's Miss Blogs4Bauer matchup: Chloe O'Brian versus the late Michelle Dessler. Guess who I'm voting for?

Tonight's episode should be Tyler-proof. That is, chock full o' action. It appears that Jack gets shot - at least he's in this episode - and Zombie President Palmer launches the nuke. It should be nuclear-iffic! Be back in a few . . .

Viewer discretion is advised. (Insert my uncontrollable giggling here.)

10:00pm - The bird is in the air! Where is Slim Pickens when we need him? He is certainly not with Karen "I Spill Every National Security Secret In America With My Husband" Hayes.

Oh, the Middle Eastern ambassador was lying. Go figure. I guess he's boning up on his Ahmadinejad impersonation. Abort, Abort, Abort!!! . . . Puss-aah. Strike that. He was bluffing, so he's not a puss-aah. He's just a liberal pinko.

10:08pm - Who's this blonde haired guy? Oh, that's Jack Bauer. I remember Jack. Is a kitchen really the best place for an interrogation? They used one in Prison Break a few weeks ago!

Oh, and I don't approve of Silver Spoons taking over Jack's interrogation. Ricky has got to go! And I have a crisp $1 bill that the transport is attacked. Place yer bets!

10:11pm - Commercial break! Spidey 3 trailer! This night keeps getting better and better. What's next? Rosie O'Donnell eats herself to death?

10:15pm - Couldn't they think of a better name for this general than "Habib?" That was Al Bundy's name when he was forced to work at the gas station! Oooh, a tender moment between Lennox and Zombie Palmer. Someone fetch me my cryin' blankie!

10:17pm - We've got a truckin' convoy! CONVOY!

CRASH! And the quarterback is toast! Firefight! Check your Kill Counters!!! Bauer is down! Bauer is down! Auntie Em! Auntie Em!

Um, what the hell was that? We have more bluffs than the Grand Canyon!

10:22pm - Commercial Break! Is anyone still reading my nonsense? Just checking.

10:27pm - Fayed wants to speak to General Habib. And he won't do anything until he does. He's the radical Islamic Cindy Sheehan! Zombie President Down!!! Get some fresh brains in here, stat!!!

Karen Hayes is laying down the tough talk smack? The next thing you know, she'll tear up her ACLU card! And if Zombie Palmer keeps calling the ambassador a barbarian, MSNBC will suspend him for two weeks. Step lively, David! Reverend Al is watching you.

10:32pm - Ugh, another Milo/Nadia repartee. Someone torture me, please! Hey Milo, why the long face? HA! And, I'm sorry, but did Nadia just translate "General" into "General???"

10:36pm - Fayed bought it, and now we're back with Night of the Living Dead Presidents. He is ushering out the ambassador before he eats his brain!

10:38pm - Commercial break! Tinkle if you must! This just in: J-Lo(talent) will be appearing on American Idol. It's official: her career is in zombie status!

10:41pm - We're back! General Tso, er, Habib may have sent Fayed a signal. Someone murder his children, post haste! We lost the target vehicle = the CTU decoy team is worm food.

10:44pm - HE WENT IN THE SEWERS, JUST LIKE RICHARD KIMBLE!!!

Or not. Couldn't Jack get inside the rear of the trash truck? And isn't it convenient that Fayed can drive stick?

10:47pm - Commercial break! This diet iced tea is wreaking havoc with the old bladder. Oh, sorry, I didn't realize that I typed that. Oh frak, did the comments go down? I can't get in. (Sounds of rejoicing fill the country.)

10:51pm - Doctor, you're wasting time! He needs more brains! (Have we run that reference into the ground enough yet?) Since comments may still be down, pass the snarky comments amongst yourselves.

10:53pm - Taking out downtown Los Angeles? Keen! Oh, and we better update that Kill Counter: Jack's out of the truck. And the Counter is rising! Maybe Jack should have taken out the AK-47 first? And what's with throwing the gun? Rookie mistake. Kick his ass, Jack!!!

Jack Bauer: Back on the Chain Gang.

10:58pm - Oh well, I guess the season is over. What? Audrey's back??? Damnit! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

10:59pm - Looks like everyone will be Kung Fu fighting! Solid episode, kids! Lotsa Jack, and next week he pulls a gun on Silver Spoons. Joygasm! Well, I'm out. Thanks for your patience (with my blogging and the damned comment fiasco). Enjoy They Might Be Giants!

90 comments:

Yeah Him said...

Michelle Dessler - so hot - want to touch the butt!!

I'm first!!

Yeah Him said...

Please - let the sharks just go away tonight.

Can Zombie Wayne all just be a bad dream?

Wyatt Earp said...

Yeah Him - The line for Dessler butt-touching forms here, big guy!

My $0.02. I bet that Zombie Palmer recalls the nuke.

steveegg said...

Thank you for your support, Wyatt.

Authorized and paid for by Michelle4MissB4B Campaign, steveegg, treasurer.

VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED!

The Man said...

Who brought the CHUM?

The Man said...

longest preview ever.

lawhawk said...

What's the deal with the sharks? They're circling and the chum is in the water...

I've got catching up to do.. and the rockets' red glare is about to go supernova!

steveegg said...

I thought Chapelle WAS the chum.

We start off trolling in the bunker.

steveegg said...

I'm going to get those missile doors open if it hare-lips everybody in Bear Creek!

lawhawk said...

By the by, have they gotten any more specific than Mideastnationalia?

I'd take Dessler over RPF, though give RPF a heavy machine gun, and all bets are off.

steveegg said...

Temper, Chapelle. You're still on death watch, and that blood pressure is going be the end of you.

No mushroom clouds...yet. There's still time for the Two-One Zebra.

lawhawk said...

Two minutes to impact... and they've got a fragile political situation in Mideastistan? It's gonna get a whole lot easier.

Lying MidEast nation? Go figure.

steveegg said...

So, are we going with the Frau Bluchler or the Gloria Allred tonight?

Chloe's trying to mess with my feed, dammit!

steveegg said...

It's still just Durkadurkastan. Dunno if it's one of the 3 targeted a couple years back.

Ricky Stratton playing good cop?

steveegg said...

Burke is back!

I've got 2-1 on Stratton donating the golden BB to Jack.

The Man said...

"Now we're going to have some fun"

Classic Jack.

lawhawk said...

We're going to break him with a pharmaceutical package? Geez, what are they gonna do? Have him sit in front of the TV and watching ads for erectile dysfunction, incontinence ads, and irritable bowel syndrome?

might I suggest something harsher?

Yeah Him said...

Looks like the sharks may be gone for the time being.

steveegg said...

No bet (unless one of you suckers wants to take the convoy making it back to CTU unscathed). I'll even give you 5-3 odds on it.

The Man said...

I've got 2-1 on Stratton donating the golden BB to Jack.

I've got 3-1 that the previews were wrong and Jack is not dead

Also there is a 50/50 chance that it will be Fox5NY's Useless 24 story of the night.

Wyatt Earp said...

Lawhawk - You ever see those fossils sitting in the hot tub? That would break me.

Steveegg - 5-3? That's good odds.

The Man said...

might I suggest something harsher?

ads for House?

steveegg said...

Dunno if there's enough food in the world for Rosie to eat herself to death, but damned if she isn't trying.

Yeah Him said...

As for where the Michelle line begins, it looks like we're gonna have to rock paper scissors for it!!!

Wyatt Earp said...

The Man - Well played. House is brutal!

V the K said...

Need a Nickname for Habeeb

steveegg said...

Where's that "Place Bets Now!" graphic?

No shit you're not David, Chapelle.

steveegg said...

As for where the Michelle line begins, it looks like we're gonna have to rock paper scissors for it!!!
I've got 2 rocks!

steveegg said...

Attack!

ONE!

steveegg said...

DAMMIT!

lawhawk said...

We've got to get a man down... man down!

Two men down... and this isn't looking good at all.

steveegg said...

Jack's up, so is everybody else.

STING!

The Man said...

2 Points....nope

SSSHHHHAAARRRRKKKKK

V the K said...

Zombie Jack rises again!

tuffbeingright said...

those tricksters!!

lawhawk said...

Heh... it was a scam to make Fayed think it was a recovery team. No kills damnit!

steveegg said...

Dammit, I should've seen that one coming.

Stratton ain't got time to bleed.

V the K said...

"Ricky you're bleeding... and your brains smell delicious."

RT said...

That was cool.

Yeah Him said...

Ok... WTF?
Is there any rhyme or reason to this stuff other than to kill 8 hours of video?

steveegg said...

No, nobody's reading your nonsense, Wyatt. We're all just hitting refresh on the comments page :-)

Seriously, nice Die Hard reference.

Wyatt Earp said...

So far, it's better than last week's episode. Not that that's saying much . . . An episode of The Golden Girls was better than last week's ep.

steveegg said...

Rhyme? Reason? What's that?

I'm sure everything will be settled next week when I'm in Jamaica.

Wyatt Earp said...

Steveegg - Nice of you to pick it up. Thanks!

"It's Christmas, Theo. It's the time for miracles."

steveegg said...

Say, has anybody seen RPT yet? It seems she's trying to take over the poll.

The Man said...

Michelle Dessler (63%)


Chloe O'Brian (37%)
Miss B4B Update

USpace said...

absurd thought -
God of the Universe says
don't touch the hotties
.

Little Miss Chatterbox said...

How did I know that the sexy pic of Michelle meant that Wyatt was liveblogging?????

SVC Alumnus Blogger said...

Yes, I'm reading your stuff.

And Chloe is hotter!!!

RT said...

I wonder if while they were "practicing" for the fake terrorist thing if they used fake Christian terrorists?

steveegg said...

Because we paid for that placement, LMC.

Al Bundy giving spat advice?

Wyatt Earp said...

LMC - You know me too well.

The Man said...

Those poor bastards only have blanks...

SVC Alumnus Blogger said...

Why don't Milo and Nadia just turn CTU HQ into a love shack while they're at it?

V the K said...

This is going suspiciously well.

NDwalters said...

Awww, Milo's not gonna get any, is he?

steveegg said...

SVC - you owe me an iPod so I can get that POS song out of my head.

I give Chapelle about 25 minutes left to live.

tuffbeingright said...

I dunno. I've tried for weeks,but this whole Ricky Schroeder thing still doesn't work for me. What's next, Florence Henderson as next head of CTU?

steveegg said...

I meant seconds, dammit!

lawhawk said...

I think Palmer's in need of a pharmaceutical pack himself...

NDwalters said...

24, 24, 24, are we gonna watch or snore some more?

Does anyone else think 24 could get some better villains? Or hell, new writers?

Here's some folks to put on 24.....

David Suchet
Steven Berkoff
Oded Fehr
Rick Yune

to name a few.....

Wyatt Earp said...

"Love Shack, Baby!"

steveegg said...

One word to describe "Next" - NEXT!

Yeah Him said...

He came back to us!! He came back to us!! Oh yeah, that's Missing in Action, but still, Zombie Wayne came back and even if he bows out, he will be a solid Palmer - unlike that trashy sister of his.

tuffbeingright said...

Work the O'Reilly / Rivera immigration debate into one of these episodes....

Wyatt Earp said...

Solid Palmer. Is that similar to Solid Snake?

Boy, I miss Metal Gear!

steveegg said...

Not all of us have bladers of steel, but it does help in watching this.

SVC Alumnus Blogger said...

steveegg - I apologize.

Chloe taught me how to be funny!

tuffbeingright said...

A HA!

tuffbeingright said...

The general was in a flank 2 position

steveegg said...

CTU, we have a problem. We have a probable duress code analyzed by Aywana.

Do you trust Ricky Stratton behind the wheel?

Little Miss Chatterbox said...

To be honest I think this is my least favorite season unless things start getting better. Have I mentioned that I miss David Palmer? It is the understatement of the year for Wayne to say he isn't David. No sh*t sherlock!!!

steveegg said...

Sameer is on the loose.

steveegg said...

You haven't mentioned that lately, LMC, but I feel much the same way about the forthcoming winner of the MissB4B Contest.

V the K said...

Hey, 24. Prison Break just called. They want their, 'the prisoner escaped in a traffic tunnel' thing back.

RT said...

Well, at least Carlton Banks wasn't behind the wheel.

lawhawk said...

Who does Jack think he is? Jack Traven? Except with a garbage truck and not a bus?

Yeah Him said...

I was enjoying 24 and then all of a sudden it became Cape Fear, only Robert Deniro was saying "dammit"

Jack Bauer said...

Jack Bauer with his upper body (2 points)
Jack Bauer with a gun (1 point)
Jack Bauer with a gun (1 point)
Jack Bauer with a gun (1 point)
Jack Bauer with a gun (1 point)
Jack Bauer with his upper body (2 points)
Jack Bauer says something cool before killing them (+1 point)
Jack Bauer Combo Kills:
4 kills-in-1 (+12 points)

Total Points: 21 Points!

steveegg said...

Thanks for spinning the kill counter and finally freeing up the comments. I got the "1" and the "2" transposed; DAMMIT!

Jack Bauer said...

Blogger sometimes turns off comments...I think we have a mole.

steveegg said...

Figures. I'll wager it's Chloe; she's done a LOT of hacking into B4B lately.

Seriously, with this now happening to Jack Sack and Wyatt Earp, it's probably time to start considering Haloscan.

SusanT said...

i think this was one of the best episodes of the season

Vinnie said...

I can't believe you guys fell for the "Blogs4Doyle" thing.

Muahahahaha!!!!

yankz said...

I absolutely loved this episode. "Say hello to your brother." DAMMIT that was sweet.

Yeah Him said...

Best episode of the season - and vampire Jack was back!! Awful brave of 24 to finally get their heads out of their ass and end the weak Fayed and Gradenko plot so we can go back to China and kick that adbuctor dude's ass up and down the Great Wall!!

My only complaint was not killing the general's family. They had an excuse to atone for the season 2 stuff, and they chose not to do it.

7 episodes of extreme viciousness, but unless they go through a teleporter, it will take at least that long to fly to China.

Yeah, the Chinese agent is going to seriously pay for putting Jack in captivity.

Yeah Him said...

PS are you sure that's all the kills from the episode? Can we get a video feed so we can recount them for scoring purposes!!

Bob said...

Cape Fear, only Robert Deniro was saying "dammit"

Let's make that Robert Mitchum, please. Dammit.

LongTabSigO said...

I'm sorry...the show "jumped the shark at 10:58...

Just as the nukes are recovered and all the bad guys get scarfed up or killed, the Chinese call right then ?? Sorry...that's too much.

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