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Monday, April 02, 2007

Liveblogging 9 PM to 10 PM

Well, as many of you know, I have followed in The Man's footsteps and retired from political blogging. However, this does not mean you've gotten rid of me here at Blogs4Bauer. If anything, I should have even more time than ever to fill your days with gratuitous Kim Bauer references.

So I'll be taking the liveblogging reins tonight. I'll see you in about 20 minutes!

Here we go!

9:00 PM - I really hope we get lots of rainman action this week. That was a BRILLIANT idea by the 24 writers. Almost as brilliant as the idiot from France who believed that we had Manny's email address and would publish it openly.

Roosevelt governed fine from a wheelchair? Didn't they see Pearl Harbor? He had to stand up in order to get anyone to be impressed.

9:01 - The nuclear strike against Fayed's country? Seriously, they couldn't make something up like Qumar on the West Wing?

9:04 - Because the 25th amendment says the Cabinet decides, they can't ask what a doctor would say? That's pretty shoddy constitutional law...

9:08 - "The president must be strong enough in body and mind to defend this country." I'd have LOVED to see Reagan defend this country, you know, single-handedly.

Ads - It's official: I bogarted Tyler D.'s night to liveblog. So I'm handing over the reigns—the rest of this post will be his.

----TYLER'S POST----

9:23 - Is Milo a moron or what? Wait, spoons (almost) redeems himself.

9:26 - Nuclear straws? I WANT ANOTHER NUKE!!! :/ NO MORE TALK!!

9:28 - HOLY CRAP!!! They better not start writing in complete silence with a frackin timer on the screen.

9:32 - Affidavits!?!?! Any more references to writing and I'm out. This is pathetic.

9:34 - More paper? I just went emo and sliced my wrists wide open....wide open.

You know what....




hmmm...



9:45 - Blood trail? Is Jack a blood-hound now?

9:50 - I wish Jack would scream "Boom Headshot!" just once when he wastes somebody. That would make my day.

9:54 - "Boris the Blade" is fish food? Now that is tragic.

9:56 - Well, I got my nuke "launch". Did this episode seem like I watching The Office? Just not as... anything really?

163 comments:

steveegg said...

Allow me to be the first to say...

DAMMIT!

RFTR said...

Damnit? Why?

Yeah Him said...

Sadly, political blogging just doesn't bring the comments the way that varying degrees of naked posting do.

Good luck in whatever you choose to do.

As for tonight, I'm ready to see if I couldn't have expected the ending the way the Fox commercial guy makes me believe I won't.

He better - this season just hasn't been that good yet.

steveegg said...

I noticed that you picked the oddest day of the year to "retire".

RFTR said...

Yes, I didn't notice that until after I posted it. But I assure you, unlike a certain spoilers post, it was not an April Fool's joke.

Wyatt Earp said...

Stevegg - It's official. His RFTR blog is dead. No joke.

Yeah Him - Hey! My other blog is chock full o' (half) naked babes, and I don't get near the hits that B4B does!!!

steveegg said...

That, and my high-def feed is pixelating on me (didn't get a TV with the QAM tuner, and I'm in a piss-poor spot for OTA broadcasts).

steveegg said...

Then make it a double-DAMMIT!

I seem to have missed the "viewer discretion is advised" disclaimer.

Tyler D. said...

I thought I had it today?

steveegg said...

A tip from Hot Air - Dave Barry says that Penis Nose comes back. Of course, he posted that yesterday.

Wyatt Earp said...

Ty - I sent an e-mail around at 830. No one replied!

Tyler D. said...

That is because I was eating Taco Bell!!

Wyatt Earp said...

And Dave Barry is a tool. Just my $0.02.

Oh, and how did Palmer go from coding to up and feelin' fine in ten minutes???

Weak.

steveegg said...

Trust me, Tyler. You don't want this transition.

Adrenalin - the faux-brain food of the zombies.

Wyatt Earp said...

Ty - Then you're in no condition to LiveBlog!!! We can't take the, um, global warming, at the site. Heh.

The Man said...

Kim Bauer returns tonight....so I hear.

Tyler D. said...

I'll just edit RFTR's post. I'll also add something I was kicking around today.

steveegg said...

Taco Bell? As if the nukes weren't bad enough,....

RT said...

I'm so used to Lenox playing dorks...he plays a good ass-ish person.

bRight & Early said...

Does anyone else recognize the blond chick with VP Nuke'em?

The Man said...

They should play Rock, Paper, Scissors instead of using that constitution thingie.

steveegg said...

Shoddy, yes. They're 'Rats, so they operate just like Congress, with just a bit more oversight (eventually they'll have to get 2/3rds of Congress to agree).

RFTR said...

Tyler, if you want to take over, just say the word. I'm trying to eat dinner while I liveblog, so it'll probably be lame.

The Man said...

I'd have LOVED to see Reagan defend this country, you know, single-handedly.

or Jimmy Carter...

Wyatt Earp said...

B&E - No, but she's a mondo-hottie.

And can we please decide on whom is LiveBlogging???

Yeah Him said...

Well Wyatt, at least you're getting the hits.

It's amazing the hits that this place gets and the ability it has to create gossip.

The Man said...

Wait.. there was NO mole at CTU? Did they hire new writers?

steveegg said...

Love-hate triangle going on between Kemper, Token and Schroder.

Anonymous said...

Section four: Involuntary withdrawal

It is also possible for the Vice President, together with a majority of the heads of the executive departments (that is to say, members of Cabinet) or of such other body as Congress by law provides, to declare the President disabled. The provisions of section four have never been invoked. An "involuntary" withdrawal may be declared for a variety of reasons. The most likely scenario, and the primary purpose of section four, is incapacitation. This results in both the inability of a president to discharge the duties of his office, and his inability to provide a written declaration to that effect. It is possible, however, for such a declaration to be made even if the president is fully able and conscious, should the majority of his officers find grounds other than medical disability, such as insanity, emotional instability, or conflict of interests, affecting national security. In any event, the president would continue to discharge the powers and duties of his office until Congress had reviewed the case and voted to strip the president of his powers, thereby preventing the president's officers from exploiting section four to stage an easy coup. The President may resume his duties by a written declaration sent to the President pro tempore and the Speaker. If the Vice President and Cabinet, however, are still unsatisfied with the President's condition, they may within four days of the President's declaration submit another declaration that the President is incapacitated. Congress must decide within 21 days the issue; a two-thirds vote in each House is required to permit the Vice President to assume the Acting Presidency. For the remainder of his term, the elected president remains the President (and the acting president remains the Vice President) albeit stripped of his powers and duties, and he may compel Congress to review his competence at any point in order to resume his duties.

Wyatt Earp said...

It's a phenomenon. Believe me, the staff here is as bewildered at it as much as anyone else . . .

Actually, it's the show . . . not us.

bRight & Early said...

I recognized her from the A&E series Nero Wolfe. She was one of the main recurring characters. Her name is Kari Matchett.

The Man said...

It's amazing the hits that this place gets and the ability it has to create gossip.

It was amazing that we were able to fool so many people in so little time.

The Man said...

Don't ask the Attorney General...he'll just fire everyone.

steveegg said...

There is no question there is a mole. The question is will they be successful in round 2 of the Season Six Mole Hunt.

Chapelle saved by the tie, but Gloria Allred f'ed it up. Plan Two-Three Zebra is back on.

Mark the Pundit said...

The National Security Advisor is not even a cabinet-level position!

Powers Boothe is President!

steveegg said...

Er, Mr. AG. SCOTUS has no authority here. Chapelle needs to go to Congress in a hurry.

RFTR said...

Tyler, wake up and do your duty for your country... I mean blog.

The Man said...

This episode sucks. Is Tyler liveblogging now?

steveegg said...

Mark - there is a provision that says that Congress could either add to the actual Cabinet or depower the Cabinet from that decision. However, I do not know whether they did.

Little Miss Chatterbox said...

I hate this plot line with a PASSION!!!

bRight & Early said...

When the liveblogger cannot fulfill the liveblogging duties it falls to the vice-liveblogger to take over those duties.

Tyler D. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
steveegg said...

I do believe I called this a transition episode.

Little Miss Chatterbox said...

B&E:
She was also in this movie with James Brolin and Jane Seymour that was good.

RFTR said...

Okay, after missing the lamest 12 minutes of 24 ever, Tyler is now officially taking over.

Wyatt Earp said...

Is it possible to have two suckass episodes in a row???

AND WHERE THE FRAK IS JACK BAUER???

IT'S HIS DAMNED SHOW!!!

steveegg said...

I'm glad I'm outside the chain of command here.

Schroder covering for Kemper, who IS the mole.

The Man said...

AND WHERE THE FRAK IS JACK BAUER???

The previews said this episode would have an ending "noone saw coming"....

steveegg said...

WE WANT JACK!

WE WANT JACK!

WE WANT JACK!

DAMMIT, that's not Jack. That's Chiggy and Allred.

Little Miss Chatterbox said...

Sorry, but Chiggy Killer is too good for Karen.

The Man said...

Jack....Jack...

Wyatt Earp said...

Yeah, that ending will include our first glimpse of Jack!

steveegg said...

There's Jack. I need the 5-count, dammit.

Tyler D. said...

This episode sucks. Is Tyler liveblogging now?

:-(

Wyatt Earp said...

If any of the creators/writers of 24 are reading this, gotta tell you: I get better story ideas in my shorts!

Little Miss Chatterbox said...

I want Jack too and have I mentioned before that I miss David Palmer???? All the presidents after him have SUCKED, big time!!

The Man said...

30 minute drive in 10 minutes? Jack would have time to drop off the dry cleaning.

Mark the Pundit said...

Sandra "Thurgood" Marshall!

The Man said...

This episode sucks. Is Tyler liveblogging now?

:-(


Just messing with you buddy.

steveegg said...

Forgot to set the stopwatch, but I think that was under a minute.

Write faster. Uh-oh, the fate of Durkadurkastan is in the hands of Cynthia McKinney Chapelle.

Wyatt Earp said...

Lisa is banging Daniels. AWESOME!

Little Miss Chatterbox said...

I think the blond chic must be related to Bill Clinton. She has absolutely no problem with perjury, yikes!!

The Man said...

Powers Booth's + HD = gross

bRight & Early said...

David Palmer didn't die. His death was faked to allow him to run secret op's with The Unit.

Mark the Pundit said...

Perjury - the ends justify the means.

Clinton used that one, didn't he?

Wyatt Earp said...

Mark - And he is lauded as a hero today.

bRight & Early said...

Uh Oh. Did I let next April's prank out of the bag?

steveegg said...

The Man - I think that ick factor was the point of casting Major Cassidy as VP Jim Jones.

Where was the pixelation when I needed it?

steveegg said...

LMC - it IS a 'Rat administration. Perjury is second nature.

Mark the Pundit said...

This is so Nixonian!

Wyatt Earp said...

Tom Lennox = Big Grapes!

bRight & Early said...

Fleinhardt, you sneaky bast3rd.

steveegg said...

This show has no basis in reality. If it did, Caged Weasel would be dead where he stands.

Then again, the clock ticked before Jim Jones decided whether to start serving Kool-Aid.

Yeah Him said...

Lennox is the best non-Jack character this year - hands down.

Tyler D. said...

This has been.... Jackless? To such an extreme extent I don't feel like watching.

The Man said...

David Palmer didn't die. His death was faked to allow him to run secret op's with The Unit.

...and the Allstate commercials?

Wyatt Earp said...

On an INTERESTING note, you can cast your votes in this week's matchup of Miss Blogs4Bauer. Just scroll down, and cast your ballot. The current vote is split at 50-50.

It's gotta be better than where this episode is headed, right?

The Man said...

If I wanted to learn about admendments and perjury, I would have not slept through 4th grade Social studies.

steveegg said...

Release the pics!

bRight & Early said...

TheMan - Re: The All State commercials - How do you think they finance those ops?

The Man said...

Click here to vote for this weeks Miss B4B match-up

Little Miss Chatterbox said...

Wyatt:
By the way, how can you not like Dave Barry?

pickett said...

Who else thinks that Numb3rs is going down? Redeemed weasels don't have a high survival rate on 24.

The Man said...

Tyler...can we get a Kim pic?

steveegg said...

Chapelle is too kind to those that sided with Jim Jones.

Wyatt Earp said...

LMC - Just don't get him. He's okay, but not great.

steveegg said...

Future question from Nagaonaworkhere - Is that polonium in your arm or are you just happy to see me?

The Man said...

Thanks Milo...you douche.

Johnny Park said...

Jack shoots someone on a ferris wheel, +6 points.

steveegg said...

Nice noisemaker.

I wouldn't bet on that, Gradenko.

V the K said...

Now Gredenko's a one-armed bandit!

steveegg said...

Did I hear a "dammit"?

Season 4.5, only Gradenko didn't tighten the tournoquet tight enough.

The Man said...

Chase Edmunds called...he wants his plot line back.

The Man said...

Blood trail? Is Jack a blood-hound now?

Worse. Vampire.

Wyatt Earp said...

Someone give Boris the Blade a hand.

HA! I kill me!!!

Yeah Him said...

You gotta love the use of the axe and cougar bait pictures!!

steveegg said...

Gradenko - That Edmunds guy is a wimp. He only had his hand lopped off. I chopped off my whole arm.

Wyatt Earp said...

Ty - Nice Kim pics, though!!!

V the K said...

Future dialog: "There, I've disarmed the nuke... um, no offense, Gradenko."

Yeah Him said...

I still don't think Gredenko is going to be left to hang out minus an arm and bleeding, but that's the a good way to show you're sorry for making a mistake.

The Man said...

What kind of place leaves a bunch of axes lying around?

Wyatt Earp said...

Yeah, the ep is getting better with about 10 minutes to go.

Still weak, though.

The Man said...

Useless Fox5NY 24 story:

"What watching 24 does to your body"

Huh? Bores it to death.

V the K said...

Now, when RIcky Stratton embraces Zen Buddhism, he can ask Gredenko ... well, you can see where I'm going with that.

steveegg said...

Is CTU running my TV signal tonight? I'm losing the signal.

Useless Fox6 (Milwaukee) "24" story - Is "24" inducing stress in its fans?

Wyatt Earp said...

The Man - BAWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

steveegg said...

FIREFIGHT!

V the K said...

A one-armed guy and a Muslim terrorists walk into a bar...

steveegg said...

Was that ONE? My picture pixelated again.

Boris the Blade turned on Nagonaworkhere.

The Man said...

He's injecting him with BRAINS

bRight & Early said...

I'm a federal agent. I'm taking this slab of meat into custody.

Wyatt Earp said...

"Hey man, I just wanted an espresso!"

steveegg said...

Chapelle really needs to relax; it's not going to be the adrenaline shots that kills him.

Wyatt Earp said...

Wayne Palmer stars is

"JUNKIE ZOMBIE PRESIDENT!"

USpace said...

Yowza Kim! Great move by Gredenko...

absurd thought -
God of the Universe likes
dirty terrorists...
.

pickett said...

+1 on the kill count

although it might earn some coolness points

The Man said...

Jack Bauer with a gun (1 point)
Jack Bauer with a gun (1 point)
2 kills-in-1 (+2 points)

Plus he said "show me your head" so he said something cool.

Jack Bauer says something cool before killing them (+1 point)

Total = 5 Points

Hard To Swallow said...

absurd thought -
God of the Universe says
enjoy one arm...
.

steveegg said...

Boris the Blade is all washed up.

steveegg said...

YES!!!!!!!

I win.

Wyatt Earp said...

Gredenko Death = Wosrt episode ending . . . .EVER!!!

steveegg said...

Palmer is ordering the Two-Three Zebra.

Mark the Pundit said...

It's the drugs!

The Man said...

Payback....this time it's for real!

Mark the Pundit said...

Of course, this now makes no sense whatsoever!

bRight & Early said...

Well, I've got to admit -- I didn't see that coming.

V the K said...

OK. That makes no freakin' sense.

USpace said...

absurd thought -
God of the Universe likes
flip floppers...
.

Yeah Him said...

Yeah - they were right - didn't see Wayne launching a nuclear strike after all of his lameness.

The Man said...

Fox5NY says that watching 24 can affect your health...this one I have to check out.

Wyatt Earp said...

Someone forgot to feed Palmer some brains . . . now look what happened!!!

Now if only Tony Blair could do the same thing . . .

Yeah Him said...

I guess that will make the episodes go on now that Gredenko is dead and Fayed is in custody.

8 episodes to go...
where we're going, only Fox knows.

steveegg said...

Zombie Chapelle - Must.Eat.Irradiated.Brains.

V the K said...

Unless 10:00 pm to 11:00 pm begins with President Belushi and the Joint Chiefs yelling "April Fool!"

pickett said...

I don't think John Kerry and Mitt Romney combined could pull off such a flip flop that fast

Mark the Pundit said...

President Palmer - schizophrenic!

RT said...

Roid Rage

The Man said...

HOLY SHIT...

Jack is down...next week.

steveegg said...

I SHOULD'VE seen that coming. Chapelle is your typical 'Rat; weak, egotistical, prone to irrational decisions.

Wyatt Earp said...

Jack's dead. Blogs4Doyle will begin the week after . . . .

steveegg said...

Oh, and Dave Barry is all wet (and we're all happy) - NO PENIS NOSE!

V the K said...

'Prison Break' called. They want their implausible plot twist back.

The Man said...

Jack's dead. Blogs4Doyle will begin the week after . . .

Well we have to nab Blogs4Doyle1 because someone already got B4D...

steveegg said...

If it comes to Blogs4Schroder, I'll have to go to LA and revoke his LA privileges permanently.

Yeah Him said...

What the hell is with fox and these future episode wreckers?

steveegg said...

The Man - it's time to move this thing to WordPress :-)

Wyatt Earp said...

Yeah, and like Dave Barry, that guy is a tool as well . . .

USpace said...

absurd thought -
God of the Universe does
NOT want Kim back...
.

The Man said...

Kim Bauer also returns next week.

Yeah Him said...

With a few seasons left of jack, this just seems to be another heart stopping episode.

Since we're robbing past seasons and sharks are jumping over Gredenko's body, a fake Jack death doesn't seem implausible.

However, blogs for Doyle is even worse than Oprah directing her fans to watch 24.

steveegg said...

All I care about is the Kill Counter. Was that +5 I saw?

Wyatt Earp said...

Oprah should direct her fans HERE!!!

bRight & Early said...

You can help me talk about this lame episode tomorrow morning at 6:00 am Eastern on First Cup Radio.

The call in number is (718) 664-9725

The Man said...

All I care about is the Kill Counter. Was that +5 I saw?

Yep...it was a 5 pointer. Next week the Kill Counter keeps rolling.

steveegg said...

Oprah should direct her fans HERE!!!

Chapelle has fresh, irradiated brains. We'd have tired, retread lack-of-brains. Not exactly a fair trade (though it would be a "fair" fight, at least for us).

steveegg said...

Imagine if they had Jack on the entire hour instead of 10 minutes. That guy who guessed 17 would be right.

Yeah Him said...

Next week the question is how can a ragtag terrorist group with no leadership ambush Jack at all.

Really.

The shark jumping is getting pretty goofy with all of these plot holes and impossibilities.

I'm not even getting into Wayne with suit and tie after being pulled out of a coma. The guy was bloody, but he's dressed impeccibly. I guess it's time to buy a new shirt and tie based on what he's advertising.

USpace said...

What was that about a Kim-counter?

yankz said...

Dude, I'm sure I'm the 18385th person to post this, but you can totally see through that dress.

Tyler D. said...

yankz, what is your point?

glockspeak said...

i'm glad i'm not the only one left on my couch (in my leopard print negligee no less) and thinking "WTF???" and two shots of pure adrenaline and Palmer would keel over. No joke. UH, DOCTOR, do you even remember your Hypocratic oath?? (FIRST: DO NO HARM)And whoever is writing about the 25th Amendment should be shot by Jack. Even if this is taking place in the future, this is bullsh*t. And how freakin' agnostic of Doyle "I'm trying to decide the truth" "well, here's my truth f*cker: get outta my face" Awana I still think the writers should put out a suggestion box!

glockspeak said...

BTW, did any of you notice that Nadia SMILED?

yankz said...

No point other than "That was awesome."