If President Palmer had less of a backbone, he'd need a freakin' kickstand
by Dennis Miller
Don't get me wrong, I'm talking about the current President Palmer. His brother, ex-President Palmer was cool but also needs a kickstand, for other lead-induced reasons. Now the current President Palmer has created a leadership vaccum, in other words...he sucks. His leadership style is so gimpy that he makes former President Logan look like a Knute Rockne/General Patton clone with a dash of John Wayne. For Christ's sake, if he had less of a backbone, he'd need a kickstand.
Don't get me wrong, I would not hesitate to call the entire living Palmer family scumbags, but that, of course, would be a disservice to bags filled with scum.
Can you believe the Palmers want to portray our influx of friendly islamoscum as a group of victims? It's about time we put things right for the real victims, those are the 12,000 people that were recently vaporized in Valencia. Those poor souls disappeared quicker than a line of coke at a Kate Moss photoshoot. Now, I don't want to get off on a rant here, but I couldn't help but notice our President's scant attention to the rights of the recently nuked. It seems as if the President and his sister are looking for victims in the wrong place with the vigor of Senator Foley at a House Page retreat. How about directing a little energy towards the now-glowing portion of Southern California? Real Estate there is cheaper than a Foghat album at The Discount Dollar Barn. I guess what I'm trying to get at, is I want the president to be a little less like Oprah and a little more like Vigo the Carpathian.
As much as I hope that Jack Bauer and CTU will take the right course in tracking, torturing, and killing as many of these terrorists thugs as they can find, I recognize that the Palmers and other verbal defenders of our enemies fulfill a vital function in our democracy. Specifically, they give me somebody to hate whose name I can actually pronounce.
Of course, that's just my opinion. I could be wrong.
Counterpoint: That's not a backbone; this is a backbone
by Dennis Leary