Hi, I'm The Man and I'll be your host for tonight's episode of 24. Remember that viewer discretion is advised as RFTR may cut-in and post half-nekkid pictures of Kim Bauer. Wyatt may try and post pictures of Nina. Speaking of which:-Make sure you vote for this week's match up in the Miss Blogs4Bauer contest. With 1% of the vote in, it looks like Nina Myers will breeze past Audrey.
-In honor of the late President Palmer, Happy President's Day! While you are at it, check out this Honda ad that has been airing over the past few weeks in the tri-state (NY,NJ,CT) area. Notice anything odd about the group of presidential rappers? No, not that one of the Adams' are grabbing their crotch. They have Ben Franklin in the ad for a President's Day ad.
24 in 24 words...Jack's back, father's bad, brother's dead. Arabs setting off Russian nukes. Father set a trap for Jack. Milo and Marilyn are on the run.
Tonight on 24
Jack's father wants him to join the dark side.
tck...tck...tck...
-Did they say 24 was on a special time next week? I was too busy looking for pictures of Eric Estrada....
3:00
-Milo lost his cell phone. He's screwed. Why didn't he take one grenade and toss it at the bad guys? Even send a couple of shots their way and throw 2?
-Milo, you are so brave. I bet a couple of grenades would come in handy right about now. Add Milo to the CTU Hall of Fame. HOOOLLYYY SHIT
Jack kills 2 (2 points +2 combo) = 4 points
---and there's the rub....It's your pappy.
-"He has my son" Jack: "ditto"
-9741 Glasgow...trust me, it's personal.
3:09....Commercial Break
Sorry to beat a dead horse, but these commercials are really loud.
The ad agency I work for put out the Taco Bell commercial...
3:14
-Token Republo-Islamo girl needs to know that Milo just got lucky. He is going to milk it and try to edge out Morris for "employee of the week...or day".
-Grandpa Bauer really makes you work for his love. Josh should have agreed to watch the Gladiator movies.
-If Josh was really Jack's spawn, he'd have infiltrated the ventilation system and got himself a damn coke.
3:21 Commercial Break
Blades of Glory looks funny...too bad Will Ferrell is in it.
3:something
-Weasel sighting. We are going to kill the President on President's Day? How 24 of them.
-Hell of a day. Morris is turning to Altoids? What a shame. Altoids is a gateway drug. Stay away from Altoids kids.
-Jack is sending in another women he loves into a situation where they will likely be in danger.
3:22 Commercial Break
What is Jim Carrey doing? 23?
-Miss Blogs4Bauer Update
Nina Myers (83%)
Audrey Raines (17%)
Ms. Suki (0%)
3:36
-Morris is back at the office. He smells of Peppermint. Morris and Milo show each other their scars, Morris wins.
-Here's a random Kate Warner picture for you haters.
-Weasel goes down.... Chad Lowe has gone off the reservation.
-The Altoids have made Morris weak and slow. "I ate an altoid, but I spit them out". Really if anyone deserved an Altoid, it would be Morris. Let the guy have his mints you nagging wench.
-Another hour another tac team...dead.. Ladies and Gentlemen...the new redshirts. Whistler is gone, check for a bomb. Bang.
-Where's Josh? Check the ventilation shaft!
-Jack will surrender. How many times does Jack pull off that move?
3:46 Commercial Break
The Cingular ad is the loudest ad of all time. It got me yelled at by the wife last week.
Reno 911 is another movie to catch this year. So let's recap:
300 - stupid
Reno 911 - awesome
23 - stupid
Blades of Glory - awesome
Useless Fox5 24 News Teaser:
-"You know Jack Bauer. But do you know Kiefer? We detail what he is known for doing on the set"
3:51
-Milo and Chloe: "Did you smell his breath" "Yes, it was so minty"
-Jack is unarmed, unless you count his fists and thighs.
-Josh, run to your daddy...I mean Jack.
-24 Guidelines: spill your guts to Jack about your plot....he then turns the table and uses the information to get to the next bad guy.
-"Look what you have become"....Jack saved the world you douchebag. "I had to go my own way".
DO IT
-Dammit, did someone get that phone number?
CHARLES FREAKING LOGAN? Does that mean that Martha is coming back?
tck...tck...tck...4:00
Next week: Charles Logan is back. The President is going to die because Chad Lowe planted a bomb in his desk.
I called 310-597-3781. It's some chick speaking Spanish.
That's all folks. Now I am going on vacation. I'm going skiing in Lake Placid, NY...so keep me and my unbroken legs in your prayers.
150 comments:
You have to remember that history isn't taught in public screwels anymore.
The coming reading of the will for Pappy Cochrane sure is going to be interesting.
SECOND!
stevegg-I bet only smart people like you and I would spot that goof.
The Man - Did you get that Google Talk thing I sent ya?
Did you misspell "discretion?"
"You're making us look like jerks!!!"
Go Nina.
Damn. I guess no linky love to Wyatt tonight? Crap.
Tyler D - I just signed into chat. What's up?
Wyatt - enjoy your link.
link whore
But I get tested every week at the Blogger Free Clinic!
Go Nina!
What? Ben Franklin wasn't President?
And Tyler D may try to post pictures of Wyatt.
What do you mean Franklin wasn't president?
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Franklin was too busy whoring around France to be President.
Pictures of Wyatt? Like this?
We can be heroes... for just one day... /oh wait, wrong show...
Or this picture of Wyatt and his partner
Wow, Wyatt's been working out.
Hey! This isn't a special time!
what a special time! Real different.
Is Wyatt on the left or right in that picture?
Who isn't too busy looking for pictures of Eric Estrada?
Fox.com has next week's episode still at 8 Central.
Here we GO! Live NOW!
Milo did good last hour for being a computer guy.
Having Jack's semen run through your veins apparently does not give you super-human strength.
Milo screwed up last episode because he didn't take a couple of those grenades with him to toss back at the bad guys.
Though his driving shows promise for next season's NASCAR.
Maybe I was too harsh in saying Milo doesn't have skills. He knows how to run (can't say the same for Marilyn though).
One in the arm.
2 kills.
Um, why didn't Milo just wait and pop them one-by-one as they came around the dumpster.
And she's caught... and Milo is about to meet a power tool... Jack Bauer. We've got a 2fer...
Milo can't shoot, and Marilyn doesn't know how to run.
DING! There's 4.
Reality sets in now.
Now over half my team is dead!
For the third time today Jack....
Marilyn just tells Jack the bad news. His dad is an evil mo-fo.
No, Tyler, this is the first time it was only "over half." All the rest, no one came out alive.
He's pissed that there are so many survivors, I think.
rftr, oh....
What does CTU have unlimited tac teams?
Hey, Jack's starting to be a conservationist. "I want you to send me a smaller team."
He's finally trying to spare lives.
"Trust me, it's personal"
TRUST ME, ITS PERSONAL!
STUPID IS AS STUPID DOES!
42 comments and we're only 10 minutes in.
The Man, where are the pictures of Kim? Don't make me hijack this liveblog.
Sparta looks horrible.
Tyler, that's because The Man volunteered to liveblog before I had a chance. So I'm commenting more than I usually do.
Sparta looks horrible.
-Well I got extra pictures on Myspace thanks to that crappy-ass movie.
Are you kidding? Sparta looks awesome. How can you not love dialogue like:
"Our arrows will blot out the sun."
"Then we will fight in the shade!"
Milo is getting an award.
Milo up for the "I got my ass saved by Jack" commendation.
Morris: "He got shot in the shoulder? So what?? I took a damn drill in the shoulder you bloody Scientologist twit."
someone from district? who's getting to CTU how exactly? Oh wait, Cochran's bending time again?
Anyone else want to see Chloe smack Al Bundy and say, "We don't have time for your personality disorder?"
"I will do everything in my power to make sure our... I mean your (wink, wink) son is safe."
Invoking the father card.
"Do we have to talk about this now, Grandpa?"
"No, of course not. I just want to torture you some more."
300 is gonna have a body count that will make today's 24 seem like child's play... /that has got to count for something...
Time for a Kim Bauer picture.
finally
That kid is totally Jack's son. He's gonna whack grampa Zephram.
Josh know granddaddy's little plan now.
lawhawk - Waterworld had a large body count....
Locked in
Start cry and do the puppy face maybe that will work!
Jack Jr. is getting a lesson in Bauer family dynamics.
Daddy Bauer is just a sicko.
Ty, The Man, and RFTR - I hate you all.
Marilyn and Josh (RE: Jack Jr) are a bunch of pink doily, tea-party pansies.
When an armed man tells you to run, Marilyn, RUN!!!
mmmmmmmPezmmmmmm
y'all don't know how lucky you are not to see the first drafts of the tivoblog. Just sayin'
Waterworld had Costner. /nuf said.
300 has Frank Miller doing the script and VDH was involved. How bad can that be?
Awww, Wyatt, schmoopy... we didn't mean to hurt your feelings.
And I'm not sure Milo counts as "an armed man." I mean, it's Milo. At best it's an armed CTU techno-weenie who isn't even a very good techno-weenie.
He's only one step above a red-shirt, so it might actually be better to disregard his every order.
Blades of Glory = Greatest Movie . . . EVER!
And who posted the token pic of Kim??? RFTR, I am looking at you!
Very appropriate Kim pic (though I have to go with the Michelle one).
At the risk of being at the mercy of Wyatt's wrath I enjoyed those pics of him. Good going Tyler and the Man.
Hey. Given the jealous working relationship between Al Bundy and Kemper, should I re-nick Kemper as Griff, or Jefferson, or Flanders?
RFTR - Good point. that would be like calling me an armed man.
Calling Milo an armed man is an insult to men with arms.
The one bad thing about bunkers is there are not a lot of exits.
Looks like we'll have a new President next week.
Numb3rs is having second thoughts about becoming a mole. And how is it that there is always yet one more plot and conspiracy within a conspiracy?
Not like we don't have enough moles.
Who wants to play:
"Is Wyatt smarter than a 5th Grader?"
I digress, that commercial is getting to me.
Bundy is back in the saddle..
CHUG CHUG CHUG!
SPEW!!!!
Or not... he can't even do that right
Failing at CTU definitely drives one to drink. Al Bundy sure can't handle his liquor.
Tyler, at least Wyatt ISN'T a third-grader.
Respect your elders, young'un.
We should have shotguns for this deal. Oh wait, we've got plenty of automatics.
Hmmmm, that spot feels familiar.
No, Jack, you're supposed to take OFF the clothes, not put them on.
What's with the 'Halo' music? I feel like I should be driving a scorpion through an underground laboratory.
Marilyn in a slip!
Giggity, giggity, giggity, giggity, giggity, giggity, giggity!!!
Oh, and nice product placement for Red Bull.
Giggity.
I like this chic a lot more than Audrey.
Its amazing that Milo comes out looking tougher than Bundy. I'm still not seeing Audrey in any serious relationship let alone with this dumbo.
Okay, maybe Wyatt IS a third grader...
In fairness to Morris the Cat, I have spewed on occasion after a little too much Jameson's.
Mmm . . . Jameson's!
RFTR - I got my 3rd Grade education through a GED.
And the Philly PD immediately handed you a sidearm.
It's a good thing he didn't get shot in the other arm--might have messed up that pretty tattoo.
And is Morris coming on to Milo?
Hot man love ahoy!
Somewhere, Tyler is getting all warm . . .
Mal Reynolds... SWEEEEEET!
Sure Mr. McBeal will be there...just out of the blast range.
We've been here before.... and Numb3rs had a change of heart...
Not to mention a splitting headache
Beating a man half to death with a flashlight; ah, that takes me back to my patrol days . . .
If Jack had delivered that bitch-slap, Mr. McBeal would be sans head instead of just resting comfortably waiting for the end of the Presidential Bunker.
Numbe3rs guy: "Man, it sure is easier being a physics geek."
Does CTU not know that Mac's SUCK?
How many tac teams have to die?
So, how soon before this Tac Team buys the farm?
Boris the Blade is about to erase the SWAT team . . . or not.
Gradenko has left the building, as has Cochrane and Jack Jr.
Can you fly, Bobby?
Jack giving himself up....24 recycling
absurd thought -
God of the Universe says
don't KILL sick grandfathers
.
So there's a rainbow shining out of the roof of that Kia. Does that mean that the driver's wife is just his beard?
Wyatt - do cops watch RENO 911?
Wow. Our Site Meter claims there are over 100 people on the site right now.
Cool.
Probably, RFTR
The Man - ABSOLUTELY! Primarily because every one of the characters is similar to a cop we all know. I'll be first in line at the theater on Friday!
Grandma Hotel? Shouldn't there be doilies on everything and a weird smell?
The Man, she yells at you because of TV commercials that are entirely out of your control?
Sounds like she's a b——um, beautiful woman.
rftr she yells because she cares
She has to yell. You can't hear her over the frakkin' commercials!
Jim Carrey is in 23... is that supposed to make us think that it's going to be like almost as cool as 24?
Metabolize the alcohol??????????
What is Keifer like on the set?
He burns the prototype Jack Bauer doll!!!
POINT!
HEAD!
SHOOT!
OH YEAH!
Point and shoot, you bimbo.
Like a friggin' camera!!!
Women: can't live with 'em, can't kill 'em!
she is also trying to watch 2 and a half men on ABC.
If I had a nickel for every time I walked into a utility building on a roof and shouted "Dad? I'm unarmed!"...
Pappy lying again?
Absolutely.
You forgot "teeth" in Jack's personal arsenal :-)
Did someone get that phone number?
The Kill Counter shuts down at 4. If I read the thread right, we've got winners.
Logan is back.
Logan
President Weasel!!! Sweet!
Amd the number is 310-597-3781
You could have been a contender...
Oh, and you've got your back turned to Zephram... but he leaves another phone and a number... Numb3rs is being turned into use #350 for duct tape..
And we have a President Weasel sighting... along with a commercial for Gilette Mach 3 Turbo extreme for that nasty thing he calls a beard.
If someone got the last 4, I got the area code and the first 3: 310-597-____
It's the "Nextel Phone for 24" and the operator speaks Spanish. I don't speak Spanish, but I think she said the mailbox is full.
That craptastic movie Shooter REAKS of Bourne identity.
OK, Didn't see that coming.
Hey, local shopping center set on fire. Neat.
Wants his wife back, that what he wants.
Hasn't that number been seen before?
The total hits for the past hour was 240.
Karma.
absurd thought -
God of the Universe says
don't KILL sick grandfathers
.
Enough with the crappy haikus. Stop posting them here or Jack will kill your whole family.
310-597-3781 is the Fox 24 fan phone.
Awwwwwwwright!! 4 points this hour. Nice to see Logan rockin that beard, almost makes up for Jack shaving his (along with his mullet).
absurd thought -
I agree
these things reek!
now that was a wild ending with the reappearance of president logan's conniving sorry bearded self!! But where was Powers Boothe? And where did daddy Bauer go? So many stories all working around - it's going to be a wild ride till the middle of the season forces the big changes.
Great Kim in bondage picture too.
Wow. I didn't know George Itzin did so much... on Star Trek!
http://memory-alpha.org/en/wiki/Gregory_Itzin
Correction:
300 - Awesome!
23 - Cool!
Blades of Glory - stupid.
and...
Shooter - Awesome!
Dammit.... semen runs through your veins?...who knew?
Only after you are impregnated by Jack Bauer.
I just finished watching the episode I missed last night, on the web (legally... and free!)
I knew that the major networks had started streaming their latest episodes of their shows, on the web, and I had remembered that FOX had been doing this, on a Myspace page.
When I went to the official 24 page at fox.com however (not the Myspace page), after missing the two-episode season premier, it did not link to anyplace where I could see the full episodes online... Unlike it does now.
I wonder if I had gone to the Myspace page directly, some weeks ago when I missed the two-episode season premier, it would have had the episodes there. When, for the current season, did they start having the latest episode of 24 available online?
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