Hi, I'm The Man and I'll be your host for tonight's episode of 24. Remember that viewer discretion is advised as RFTR may cut-in and post half-nekkid pictures of Kim Bauer. Wyatt may try and post pictures of Nina. Speaking of which:
-Make sure you vote for this week's match up in the Miss Blogs4Bauer contest. With 1% of the vote in, it looks like Nina Myers will breeze past Audrey.
-In honor of the late President Palmer, Happy President's Day! While you are at it, check out this Honda ad that has been airing over the past few weeks in the tri-state (NY,NJ,CT) area. Notice anything odd about the group of presidential rappers? No, not that one of the Adams' are grabbing their crotch. They have Ben Franklin in the ad for a President's Day ad.
24 in 24 words...
Jack's back, father's bad, brother's dead. Arabs setting off Russian nukes. Father set a trap for Jack. Milo and Marilyn are on the run.
Tonight on 24
Jack's father wants him to join the dark side.
-Did they say 24 was on a special time next week? I was too busy looking for pictures of Eric Estrada....
-Milo lost his cell phone. He's screwed. Why didn't he take one grenade and toss it at the bad guys? Even send a couple of shots their way and throw 2?
-Milo, you are so brave. I bet a couple of grenades would come in handy right about now. Add Milo to the CTU Hall of Fame. HOOOLLYYY SHIT
Jack kills 2 (2 points +2 combo) = 4 points
---and there's the rub....It's your pappy.
-"He has my son" Jack: "ditto"
-9741 Glasgow...trust me, it's personal.
Sorry to beat a dead horse, but these commercials are really loud.
The ad agency I work for put out the Taco Bell commercial...
-Token Republo-Islamo girl needs to know that Milo just got lucky. He is going to milk it and try to edge out Morris for "employee of the week...or day".
-Grandpa Bauer really makes you work for his love. Josh should have agreed to watch the Gladiator movies.
-If Josh was really Jack's spawn, he'd have infiltrated the ventilation system and got himself a damn coke.
3:21 Commercial Break
Blades of Glory looks funny...too bad Will Ferrell is in it.
-Weasel sighting. We are going to kill the President on President's Day? How 24 of them.
-Hell of a day. Morris is turning to Altoids? What a shame. Altoids is a gateway drug. Stay away from Altoids kids.
-Jack is sending in another women he loves into a situation where they will likely be in danger.
3:22 Commercial Break
What is Jim Carrey doing? 23?
-Miss Blogs4Bauer Update
Nina Myers (83%)
Audrey Raines (17%)
Ms. Suki (0%)
-Morris is back at the office. He smells of Peppermint. Morris and Milo show each other their scars, Morris wins.
-Here's a random Kate Warner picture for you haters.
-Weasel goes down.... Chad Lowe has gone off the reservation.
-The Altoids have made Morris weak and slow. "I ate an altoid, but I spit them out". Really if anyone deserved an Altoid, it would be Morris. Let the guy have his mints you nagging wench.
-Another hour another tac team...dead.. Ladies and Gentlemen...the new redshirts. Whistler is gone, check for a bomb. Bang.
-Where's Josh? Check the ventilation shaft!
-Jack will surrender. How many times does Jack pull off that move?
3:46 Commercial Break
The Cingular ad is the loudest ad of all time. It got me yelled at by the wife last week.
Reno 911 is another movie to catch this year. So let's recap:
300 - stupid
Reno 911 - awesome
23 - stupid
Blades of Glory - awesome
Useless Fox5 24 News Teaser:
-"You know Jack Bauer. But do you know Kiefer? We detail what he is known for doing on the set"
-Milo and Chloe: "Did you smell his breath" "Yes, it was so minty"
-Jack is unarmed, unless you count his fists and thighs.
-Josh, run to your daddy...I mean Jack.
-24 Guidelines: spill your guts to Jack about your plot....he then turns the table and uses the information to get to the next bad guy.
-"Look what you have become"....Jack saved the world you douchebag. "I had to go my own way".
-Dammit, did someone get that phone number?
CHARLES FREAKING LOGAN? Does that mean that Martha is coming back?
Next week: Charles Logan is back. The President is going to die because Chad Lowe planted a bomb in his desk.
I called 310-597-3781. It's some chick speaking Spanish.
That's all folks. Now I am going on vacation. I'm going skiing in Lake Placid, NY...so keep me and my unbroken legs in your prayers.