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Wednesday, February 14, 2007

A Bauer Kind Of Valentine's

Even a tough guy like Jack Bauer can set aside a little time for Valentine’s Day. I mean anyone who spends so much time surrounded by internal organs and buckets of blood should have respect for matters of the heart, right?

Strangely enough, since Jack is too busy to save the world to waste his time scouring the local Hallmark store, he gives out homemade Valentine’s cards. Here are ten of his favorites.

10. Audrey, everyone “nose” that I love you.
9. All I need is you . . . and a handful of piano wire.
8. Be Mine . . . or else!
7. I Choo Choo Choose you . . . to die!
6. Happy Valentine’s Day, Josh! Love, Dad.
5. I love you more than a fully loaded shotgun.
4. Cupid shot me with an arrow. Now I’m gonna make him pay.
3. Damnit, we don’t have time for you’re expression of love!!!
2. Roses are red, violets are blue. If you don’t tell me what you know, I’ll garrote you.

And Jack Bauer’s number one favorite homemade Valentine is . . .

1. I stole your heart . . . and I’m going to let you see it before you die.

(Cross-posted at SYLG)

5 comments:

The Man said...

A V-Day Jack Bauer Haiku:

Two years of torture
Bad food and water boarding
Morris your a bitch

Noel said...

You can see a bunch of 24 Valentines at the Jack Bauer Torture Report

Wyatt Earp said...

Good grief! Haiku??? We have found a new low here at B4B.

Adam said...

I spy a jack sack in that picture!

Sorry, I've just been waiting for Sacky's return this season and as the hours tick down, I've become resigned to the fact that it's not happening. Ya got any freakin' haikus to help me through this difficult time? Well?!

(sigh)

The Man said...

A haiku for The Jack Sack

No bag can compare
call it a manpurse and die
where art thou jack sack?