-Ignignokt the Mooninite
That tingle you feel in your big stomach is not the week-old tuna salad you had for lunch. No, it's your body telling you what I am about to say. As your so called "media" have reported, we're in complete control of your Earth. Boston is only the beginning and Jack Bauer cannot save you from the impending doom. The innocent shall suffer...big time!
We started by planting devices in your "town of beans" called Bos-ton. Home of the mighty Red Sox and Matt Damon. They never saw it coming, the glowing neon death. For almost 1,400 minutes the world watched as Bos-ton descended into chaos not seen since the 1987 New Kids on the Block concert at "the Garden". Step by step, we will soon be your master.
Do not try and stop us by sending in CTU. Your tac-teams are no match for the magical belt of Foreigner. They will die a slow and painful death and not live to see Alf make a comeback.
Earthlings, prepare for a pride-obliterating bitch-slap.