Liveblogging 11 PM - 12 AM

That's right, folks, RFTR is back in action.

And I promise this time I won't leave halfway through to be replaced by the person whose turn I stole. We'll get started in just about 20 minutes.

Until then, here's a little gift from me to you:

And here we go.

I didn't watch Drive yet tonight, so no one ruin anything in the comments. Let's just leave it at: last night's episodes rocked.

11:00 PM - He needs to get to a hospital? The only reason jack would go into a hospital is if there was a terrorist there he needed to torture.

11:02 - Now the Chinese want the nukes. Didn't they see The Departed? Jack's just going to give them fakes.

And they want access to all Russian defense technology? Isn't that just, like, an underpaid guy and some rusty hardware?

11:04 - No she's not alright, she's still got a penis nose!

11:06 - So the U.S. military objected this season to Jack's use of torture. Think they'll object to him killing a few U.S. soldiers?

11:08 - Oh no, Jack's talking to Chloe in secret. That's never good news.

11:09 - Chloe's worried about an international incident? Since when?

Ads - Snowboarders have AmEx cards now? What happened to exclusivity?

11:15 - I'm pretty sure that gash on the President's face would have been bandaged and oozing all kinds of nasty crap.

11:17 - "How dare you?"??? Is he really surprised that Palmer wants his resignation? "Sorry I tried to have you declared mentally incompetent. Still friends?"

11:19 - All Chloe has to do is tell him that she did it. Spouses can't testify against each other, right? Are they married, or am I misremembering that?

11:21 - Here we go, another CTU employee doubting Jack. That always works well, right? I know, let's contain Jack with a perimeter.

11:22 - She's totally not going to tell Chiggy.

11:23 - Only Jack Bauer could turn a heavily-guarded warehouse into his own personal jungle gym. And the helicopter's ETA is 15 minutes? If Jack needed it, it would have been there yesterday.

11:24 - Remind me the next time I need a tank to claim I'm a federal agent, never flash any credentials, and insist that it's under Presidential order.

11:25 - Ooh. That'll cause a headache. M-16s do not feel good against the side of the head.

Ads - Anyone out there? The comments seem rather quiet tonight. Am I that boring?

If I'm not entertaining you enough, then maybe you should read a more interesting blog instead.

11:29 - Jack's chained. Time for some vampire action. "I had to subdue him," um, no, you had a soldier do it. Pussy.

11:32 - If it's so easy for Jack to get to the President, why didn't he ask for his help before trying to go rogue? Also, I'll say it again, why do people doubt Jack so often?

11:33 - A C-4 Charge will take out anything within 30 feet? Um, doesn't that depend upon the amount of C-4?

Ads - Jack had better start shooting people soon. I'm falling asleep over here.

11:39 - Ooooooh. Doyle's giving Jack orders now. Maybe if he acted a bit less like a little bitch about the whole thing he'd seem a little more intimidating. That being said, Jack just asked him to partner up—which means he's going to be dead sometime in the next few hours.

11:42 - Of course she'll hold it over his head. She's a woman. She screws up, and it's his fault. This is network TV, people, men are evil. Don't forget it.

11:43 - He has half an hour? Jeez, he could be in Milwaukee in half an hour.

11:44 - Doyle doesn't mix relationships with his job, but I bet he'd boink Nadia if given the chance.

11:45 - This VP's chief of staff is way hotter than Scooter Libby. But also not any better of a liar.

The VP is no less attracted to her than Cheney is to Scooter, though.

11:46 - "Their dedication has helped bring this crisis to an end... and now I'm going to help in starting up another one right out of a Tom Clancy novel." Oh dear.

The worst has passed--until the Chinese get a hold of Russian technology.

11:47 - President is about to take a spill on live TV. Awesome. Totally stroking out.

Ads - By the way, in honor of Imus, I'm liveblogging in a cowboy hat.

11:52 - You mean they don't have an MRI in the White House?

"There's no denying that this is a great tragedy for the President—and f-ing sweet for me!"

11:53 - This president has got to trust Jack, right? No, of course not. No one does.

11:54 - "Even Jack Bauer can't guarantee that outcome"? Has Jack Bauer ever let anyone down? Well, okay, his wife—but Nina was hotter anyway!

11:58 - "I shot a friend of mine today because I had to. I would shoot you just for the fun of it. I haven't gotten ass in like 2 years, and if I set Audrey free, I'm sure to get laid. So get out of my way."

11:59 - Jack goes against the White House all the time. Don't tell him what he can't do.