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Monday, April 17, 2006

24 Live Blog Midnight to 1:00 AM

Good evening boils and ghouls. I'm V the K, and I lost today's round of naked buck-buck. The LiveBlog is mine.

12:00 It's Bauer Time. Have we seen Jack eat or go to the bathroom in any of the previous episodes?

12:01 So, on one side, there's Logan and the Department of Homeland Security searching for Jack. On the other side, Jack + Diet Cola + Chiggy Killer. Um, the Washington Generals had a better chance of beating the Globetrotters.

12:05 Is Heller in a Lockheed Jetstar. Classic! That's just what Pussy Galore flew in Goldfinger.

12:06 What's on Jack's iPod. Elwy and the Tree Weasels, singing the classic hit "Let's Whack David Palmer." Secretary Heller ----> Not surprised that Logan is a weasel.

12:09 SMOOCHIES!

12:10 Heller throat chops Jack, takes his iPod, and says he's going to take down Logan himself, because exposiing his perfidy would rip this country apart. Puh-lease. That's Hillary Talk.

12:16 Time to play "Spy on Chloe," a game perfected by Edgar in the bushes outside Chloe's bedroom window.

12:17 Anita Hill is wearing a wire. I bet it's small black and curly.

12:18 Chloe's call is tracked to Van Nuys Airport! The Washington Generals score!

12:22 Now, President Logan claims to be sending the military to get Jack. If he is sending the entire 101st airborne, it might be a fair fight.

12:23 No! Dick Cheney, Never corner a frightened weasel! They can turn on you at any moment!

12:30 Cool. Chloe's pick-pocket trick with Miles CTU Shopper's Club card is even better than Matt Broderick's tape recorder trick in Wargames.

12:31 Oh, no! Stopped in the hallway by Anita Hill. Maybe Chloe can use her awesome people skills to resolve this situation.

12:33 The SecDef drives his own car? Then that must have been Rumsfeld who cut me off on the Beltway this morning! And where does he get a rental at 12:30 at night anyway?

12:40 Now, Heller corners the weasel.

12:41 "Your chair is not a throne." True, if it was a throne, it would flush.

12:42 Oh, Gawd, the moonbat writers are back. "It's all about the O-I-I-I-I-I-L!"

12:43 Logan looks like "I wonder if I could tear out his throat with my sharp, needle-like teeth."

12:44 Mary Todd and Red Foreman's cell phone? I don't get it.

12:46 Who's that guy? I think his name is Bauer. He's involved in the plot in some way.

12:47 Ah, the old "Melt the handcuffs on a steampipe, then bash the guard's head in with the door trick." Classic.

12:51 No, it's not a Jetstar. It only has single engine pods, not dual pods. Never mind.

12:52 A climatic shootout at the end of the hour? Never saw that coming. I wonder if it will end with a cliffhanger.

12:54 "There's been too much killing today." You should know, pal. You did most of it.

12:55 He cut Audrey's nose! She'll bleed out in seconds.

12:59 Turns out his chair was a throne, and Heller just got flushed.

88 comments:

The Man said...

v the k is the mole

lawhawk said...

Sweet - this can be a good episode because you know who isn't blogging it.

Robocop is a little rusty in the gunfire category. Ought to get his aim recalibrated. Jack could help with that...

Mr. Random said...

Why in the world doesnt Jack bauer just record the tape with his cell phone and send it to Fox News as an attachment?

Thawtz said...

are you kidding? where's the fun in that? expose the president in the media, and that kills the body count

Mr. Random said...

prediction: Audrey or her dad will be implicated as a mole in this episode

Mr. Random said...

Yeah her dads definately evil, I always liked him though. Hard to imagine him being evil.

lawhawk said...

It's all about the oil. Go figure. Some memes are too easy to use...

Mr. Random said...

OMG, just like that the evidence is gone.

Mr. Random said...

I knew it

lawhawk said...

Everything's going to be okay? Are you kidding me?

Not 2 seconds later... go figure.

Mr. Random said...

lol, military action always means free oil!!!

The Man said...

"my god you're serious". Nothing gets by Chiggy. Nothing.

Citizen Grim said...

selling out Jack Bauer is approximately 7.342 times more foolish than selling out the President.

Thawtz said...

see... even Heller is against going to Fox news. Nothing like boosting up the National Enquirer's profits like talking to a camera.

The Man said...

Anyone see the preview to The Sentinal? Tell me how it is not 24? Besides being set in DC.

Whiteboy said...

OK...so he jacks Jack, and is heading to take on Weasel mano-a-mano?

Might as well tick up the Kill Counter now.

Mr. Random said...

CHLOE BEING SET UP!

this episode is unreal

lawhawk said...

Oh, political ramifications, so the CTU guys aren't good. We're going to use military.

Yeah, that sounds normal. Or rational.

Thawtz said...

niles, who i endearingly call "ratboy" must've have promised jean grey a night on the town or something

The Man said...

Sprint product placement #1.

Thawtz said...

now that mike's back from his 1 episode vacation, let's see what he can do

The Man said...

Cheney likes his rooms set at 86 degrees and all Sprint phones set to Fox News.

tw111 said...

Can you follow this in real time or do I have to keep refreshing?

(I'm no Chloe)

lawhawk said...

Logan grew a pair? When did this happen? And Novic is treading on thin ice.

tw111 said...

mr random,

It's Jack.

There's a copy.

The Man said...

Bauer presents "special circumstances". Classic Logan.

tw111 said...

Novic turns away with a look on his face that reads ' Weenie's obviously been taken over by demonic posession.....where's a priest?

Mr. Random said...

I already see a lot of good material for the Tivo blogging this week...

im gladd Heller is still a good guy, not the brightest good guy but a good guy nonetheless.

lawhawk said...

the man:

'Special circumstances' see also:

Jack Bauer warps the time space continuum every time he wants to know where the bomb is.

Jack Bauer makes James Bond look like a pussy. Galore.

The Man said...

We got farked.

The Man said...

Once again...we near 45 minutes past the hour. The killing minutes draw near. tck tck tck.

Wayne's Wife said...

What is V the K doing? Taking a dump? A hell of a lot has gone on since the throat chop--get to it!

The Man said...

Chloe picks pockets too?

Mr. Random said...

KNOCK HER OUT CHLOE!!!

kdeweb said...

Chloe has definitely learned a few things from our boy Jack!

tw111 said...

Oh Great.


Sexual Harassment Girl in the mix to screw Chloe.

Ungrateful bitch.

Thawtz said...

aww...c'mon. where's scott summers' shoulder for jean grey to cry on when she doesn't understand?

kdeweb said...

Are we sure that Tyler isn't liveblogging under the guise of V the K?

I mean, where is the bloodshed?

tw111 said...

What's Logan going to do, pull a Wayne Palmer Welcome on Heller?

lawhawk said...

Hmmm, is Logan under control of the Goa'uld? Maybe Chiggy Killa better become acquainted with the worms to know when to spot 'em.

Either that or grab a pair of real dark sunglasses (they live!)

The Man said...

Worst martial law ever.

Heller, Audrey, Chiggy, Henderson can just drive around.

Jack can drive around in a bullet-riddled cop car.

The Man said...

tyler is the mole!!!!! He is in a flank 2 position setup as VtheK.

Citizen Grim said...

gross.

the First Lady wants to get laid.

tw111 said...

citizen ,

No wonder... she's got the biggest prick in the country right there in her room.

(But yeah, not a good mental picture... I was hoping maybe Aaron....)

NateG said...

Is it just me, or does that music really sound like something from the Lord of the Rings?

Thawtz said...

yeah. she is all over elmer fudd's nutz

Mr. Random said...

yeah she definately wants to get laid, Logan, Redd, anyone will do. lol

Thawtz said...

truth be told: its all about the erl! jed clampett should've been in this episode

lawhawk said...

Sec. Def confronts Weasel. That can't lead to anything good.

All about the oil. Gaaaaaa.

And weasel is about to have yet more blood on his hands... if looks could kill that is...

The Man said...

NOT THE JAMES BOND MUSIC AGAIN!

lawhawk said...

Gaaa - the cheesy 70s blacksploitation music is back. And so is Chiggy!

tw111 said...

I knew it.... Weenie reverts to type under pressure, loses the stare-down.....

The Man said...

(slap my forehead)

I get it. It is all about the oil.

Mr. Random said...

hold on, who did she call?

tw111 said...

Is it just me, or did Heller look REALLY presidential just then....

tw111 said...

random,

Three guesses.

Citizen Grim said...

nooooo! they got Aaron!!

Johnny Park said...

I feel so cheated. No kill from Jack?

The Man said...

ummmmm why didn't jack bauer grab the wire cutters in the first place?

That was nice of the guards to leave the wire cutters next to Jack and Audrey. They probably were promoted from CTU security last season.

tw111 said...

Red can't be dead.....

On second thought, eah, he could be, we were loving him.

The Man said...

45 minutes past the hour. I'll go down to the basement and jumpstart the kill counter.

Don't let me down Jack.

Mr. Random said...

oh ok, i wasnt paying attention at that part.

Thawtz said...

fictional security detail lesson of the day: always leave a way for both detainees, not one, but BOTH, to escape

Thawtz said...

3 down, 8 to go

lawhawk said...

Sweet - stand next to a gas tank filled with jet fuel. Bright.

Real bright. As in explosively bright.

Mr. Random said...

ooohhh man, things looks really bad for Henderson, and I mean a horribly painful, mind bendingly horrific death.

Miss Lady Ma'am said...

"Our Government has no integrity!"

So true....

lawhawk said...

Well played Weasel.... and Heller should have listened to Jack....

Mr. Random said...

what a bad episode, nothing good happened and all of it was super predictable.

Citizen Grim said...

the Veep isn't stupid, he knows that it all suddenly makes sense if Logan is complicit...

tw111 said...

Well, I'll admit Weenie's fast on his feet....

Dammit!

Citizen Grim said...

and I thought it was a good episode, because all the characters I was getting more and more disappointed in are finally starting to piece things together

The Man said...

1
2
3
4 - Bad Guys - Jack

5 - Heller's guard (didn't see that one coming) - Bad guys

6
7 - Bad Guys - Explosion/Jack

7.5 - Audrey....

Also did Red die?

tw111 said...

(Martha Mitchell's finding the cell phone ain't a good vital sign for Red)

tw111 said...

Blow the sumbitch's head off, Audrey!

The Man said...

Next week: SecDef Heller's dead. Audrey has a gun. Martha is taken care of.

Oh and Fox5 does not lead with an asnine 24 story they would air as the last segment.

V the K said...

Awww, crap, I'm probably gonna be in a tent on the beach somewhere on the Pacific coast next Monday.

tw111 said...

There's a few hours left going down to the wire.... a lot could happen.

Get off it writers, and dazzle us, 'kay?

tw111 said...

(..so are you braggin or bitchin')

kdeweb said...

I think Red is way smarter than he is being given credit for here.

I think he lured Martha away from the house so that she wouldn't be around to hear what Logan was up to. He wanted Martha to not have to wrestle with the knowledge or be put in danger.

Red is so noble.

The Man said...

Farkers are saying they saw Victor Drazen in the preview for next week. Anyone see it?

Best villan ever.

The Man said...

Uhh... nevermind.

Jack puts his gun on Drazen, and the two stand silent for a few seconds, Drazen with his hands over his head in surrender, but abject defeat clearly written on his face. In blind rage, Bauer viciously empties his magazine into the man, even firing on Drazen's corpse as it floats in the bay water, stopping only when out of ammo.

steve said...

this weeks summary of 24isms - plot holes and the things that could only happen on 24 - is now up at thoughtsonline

al said...

Hey Grim - I only counted 5. 2 coming off the helo, Hellers guard, and then 2 in the explosion.

FIAR said...

*YAWN* What a dull dull dull dull dull dull dull dull episode. What a waste of one hour.

Citizen Grim said...

man, what a bunch of whiners. I still maintain that it was a good episode, character-wise

al said...

man, what a bunch of whiners. I still maintain that it was a good episode, character-wise

I have to agree. I enjoyed this episode.

As for my earlier objection to the kill counter I watched the end again and counted 6 confirmed and 2 probable (1 bad guy and Audry)

Ryan P said...

Audrey's not dead or near-dead. They showed her in the preview for next week.