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Monday, April 10, 2006

Live Blogging 11:00pm - 12:00am

Hello again kids, I'm Wyatt "Please Check Out My Other Blog" Earp, and I'll (once again) be your host for this evening's festivities. Gimme a minute, Prison Break is almost over.

Yet another classic Prison Break. Did you check out my other blog yet? Damn. We have a two-plug maximum here at B4B.

11:00pm - Graphic violence. That never fails to give me goosebumps. Yeah, Evelyn will be fine . . . as long as she tells Jack everything she knows. Otherwise, he'll kill her with a swizzle stick.

11:04pm - By the way, I'm trying to blog this episode on my 13" television. I had a DirecTv issue today. Oooh, William Devane will be on tonight. Giggity!

11:05pm - "With every new account of damaging tapes that threaten National Security, we'll give you a new toaster!"

11:07pm - How can President Weasel doubt the ability of RoboCop??? And then he threatens him? Yeah, can we get a bodybag for the President, please?

11:09pm - Does the head of Homely-land Security have NO makeup available? Yikes!

11:11pm - I wonder who will "volunteer" to keep an eye on Audrey Raines and her too-long (according to Phil) skirts?

11:12pm - CTU has as much chance of catching Jack "peacefully" as I do of sleeping with Paris Hilton . . . and not getting an STD.

(Commercial Break) Let us know if my Liveblogging is boring the hell outta everyone. Thanks. And I agree with kdeweb - Tom Cruise must be stopped . . . with extreme prejudice.

11:16pm - Sure sign that you are seeing undercover cops: a white man and a black man wearing nice clothes driving in a car together. Yeah, Bank Boy, say no to Jack. Cripes, who let in the rookie?

11:20pm - Oh yeah, we'll just reroute the plane after 9-11. God, Audrey is an arse! Somebody promote tail girl!!! She's sassy! Always count of Chloe to find the bug. Can't find a damned mole to save her life, but bugs? She's on it.

11:24pm - This pisses me off: it takes some Evil-Doing for President Logan to finally get some cojones??? Where was this last season, you toad??!!!

11:25pm - Okay, who didn't see Evelyn's death coming, raise your hands?

(Commercial break) I may have to go see Thank You For Smoking if J. Jonah Jameson is in it! And the ep is halfway over and no deaths yet? These writers are just phoning it in anymore!

11:30pm - Agents "under his direction?" Logan is smoking crack.

11:33pm - Aaron will have to let Martha in on the Jack warrant during "pillow talk." Giggity, giggity, giggity! Aaron better not really help Jack - all his helpers get killed or lose an arm!

11:35pm - Little known fact: John Kerry was behind the .50 cal in the Hummer. He is requesting a Purple Heart for his tour of duty down the "tree-lined path."

11:37pm - Bank Boy's PIIN code is "BOSCO."

11:38pm - Nice going, Wayne. Never rob a bank with this guy.

11:39pm - And RoboCop gets on the Kill Counter with two dead medics. "Come with me or there will be . . . trouble."

(Commercial break) Anyone else's fingers tired? Oh, I get it Isaac Hayes: you can't do South Park anymore, but you'll do a Lay's commercial? SELLOUT!!! Oh, and tell RFTR that he's behind in his list of Live Blogging hosts. Oh, one more thing, AI is doing a tribute to Queen? WTF???

11:43pm - And . . . we're back with another episode of When Octogenarians Kiss. Ugh!

11:45pm - Valerie's back! She's a modern-day Pocohontas! And Psycho Babe noticed the satellite . . . and she's suing for sexual harassment!

11:47pm - RoboCop ordered a-killin'. Who thinks that Bank Boy is the only one snuffed? Nice offer Bank Boy, but your help will not be necessary. We'll let you know if the snipers need their taxes done! Putz.

11:50pm - HEY!!! As a Philly Detective I must protest using the boys in blue as guinea pigs in Bauer's escape plan!

(Commercial Break) - Are y'all bored yet? With my blogging, I mean - not the show. Only Tyler gets the lame episodes.

11:55pm - The satlink looks like my DirecTv signal from this afternoon. Ugh. Good job, jerkass. Look around in the sat room and hop a little - that should clean up your picture. Idiot.

11:58pm - Bank Boy will take his chances with Jack. He's as good as dead. SOMEBODY KEEP TRACK OF THE GUNFIGHT!!!

11:59pm - I told you Bank Boy would buy the farm! "Taking down the President of the United States." Every liberal jackass' dream! (As told to them by Michael Moore and Alec Baldwin)

Coming Attractions - Gun battles ahoy! Suckup Boy is arresting Chloe! Heller is about open up a can of Whoop Arse on Logan! Whoo hoo!

Thanks for your patience. I'm out, enjoy Love Spit Love!

76 comments:

tuffbeingright said...

Audrey needes shorter skirts. That's all there is to it.

firecaptian said...

ALERT!!!!! Keifer Sutherland has signed on for at least 3 more years with 24 with a big fat raise making him the highest paid actor of a drama on tv. check out cnn.com for details

tuffbeingright said...

he deserves it. so long as there are no more apologies to "offended communities."

firecaptian said...

amen

kdeweb said...

Jack Bauer's next mission should be the elimination of Tom Cruise. I hate that guy! Mind control freak!!!

tuffbeingright said...

Sorry Wyatt. I said Audrey's skirts are too long.

-Tuff

FIAR said...

Anyone else think that Limpwrist looked just like Howard Dean in that one shot when he was on the phone?

tuffbeingright said...

>>Let us know if my Liveblogging is boring the hell outta everyone.

You're doing great!

firecaptian said...

Am I the only one who thinks Bill should bust up in there in a white tank top, a half empty 5th of Jack (daniels that is) in hand and get seriously disgruntled on Frau's no makeup wearing head? Come on it can't just be me.

tuffbeingright said...

if she dialed 911 - they have to call back.

i know, my 1 yr old did it a few months back

firecaptian said...

SHE'S GONNA LIMP!!

Wyatt Earp said...

Sorry Phil!!!

kdeweb said...

I wanna see Bill get some action. Bill is hot for an admin guy!

mizerock said...

Finally! Secretary Dad!

tuffbeingright said...

no blood no foul wyatt.

i guess i'm deviating from some of the b4b crowd when i say i have the hots for audrey.

FIAR said...

Who holds a press conference at that time of night?

kdeweb said...

The VP SO set that up so Aaron could hear that. He wants Aaron to help Jack.

tuffbeingright said...

I've always dug the VP. At least he has a chin.

firecaptian said...

He is the coolest. Check this out

HOLLYWOOD - Kiefer Sutherland is making students sick after learning of a college drinking game related to his hit show 24.

Students must take a shot of a chosen tipple every time Sutherland's character Jack Bauer says, 'Damn it!' and when the actor heard about the game, he decided to play along.

He reveals he started saying the soft curse phrase as many times as he could--including three times in succession.

Sutherland explains, "Boom, boom, boom, and that was just one scene. By the end (of the episode) there had to be 14 'Damn its.'

"I could just see all these college kids going, 'Oh f**k!'"

tuffbeingright said...

It looks like Evelyn is going to bleed out. What a shame.

Either the girl that plays her daughter is her duaghter, or someone did a great job casting...

mizerock said...

Now you've done it kid - you killed your Mom

... and Jack Bauer, once this call is logged!

FIAR said...

I gues it wasn't just a flesh wound after all

Little Miss Chatterbox said...

Yah!!! I'm so excited Secretary Heller/Rumsfeld is back. I love that man!!

tuffbeingright said...

The Nat'l Geo channel:

The Great Quake that destroys San Fran

Let's hope the epicenter is 20 ft below Berkley.

mizerock said...

Sometimes I feel like I'm watching an improv troupe. "At the whistle, the spineless weasel will become a cold-blooded, confident conspiratist / killer - NOW!"

And in five minutes, the whistle will blow again and Robocop will be crying for his mommy.

Wyatt Earp said...

Tuff - The "chin" comment was fabulous! And I was thinking the same thing about S.F.

tuffbeingright said...

JB and Red have teamed up! I stand by my predition of 350 dead this episode.

FIAR said...

He's dead weight Jack. Put one behind the ear and dump him

kdeweb said...

Aaron Pierce has to become a full cast member in Day 6. I love that guy.

And Heller, even if evil himself, is still da man! He would just make evil look good.

kdeweb said...

BOSCO!!!!

mizerock said...

Now your daughter is in shock too.

Little Miss Chatterbox said...

I love Red too!! Jack--is there anything else I can do for you?? What a guy!!

tuffbeingright said...

any kid that screams that loud is seriously risking lead poisoning...

Citizen Grim said...

anyone else notice that Secretary Heller looks like he's been hitting the bottle a little hard lately, Kennedy style?

FIAR said...

Yay! Dead people!

Citizen Grim said...

Jack Bauer's next mission should be the elimination of Tom Cruise.

False. Bauer's next mission should be the elimination of Jared from the Subway commercials. He's probably the most annoying person on the planet.

mizerock said...

Evil = wishing for millions to die, in real life. Sure, it's fun to watch Bad Guys die in horrible ways on 24. But nobody else here is willing to stand up to this hate? Yeah, if only everyone with a different political view could be killed by a natural disaster, life would be swell.

'Bye folks, it's been fun, and I'm sure you won't miss me.

FIAR said...

CG, He just looks like Ted Kennedy. Period.

kdeweb said...

I don't want to incur the wrath of Bauer, but when the POTUS is after your arse shouldn't you be getting all the help you can? Why hasn't Jack called Bill or Curtis? Or had Chloe or Audrey do it?

I know he is Jack and all that, but a man does need a little bit of help. And apparently the ex-FBOTUS isn't much at the moment but a cheering section.

tuffbeingright said...

Actually Cit Grim,

hitting the bottle kennedy-style means 'with an underage blonde barfly.'

NateG said...

Agree with Grim, now that Carrottop is no longer doing those collect call ads.

tuffbeingright said...

FLOTUS is getting amorous. Her breast are heaving.

Maybe she''l ask POTUS for a 3 way w/ red.

FIAR said...

Now I need to bleach my brain, tuff.

lawhawk said...

Wyatt -

Sorry I'm late to the party, but family obligations called. Yeah, I know. They can usually wait, but not this time.

Kinda like how Robocob seems to have Jack's time warp capabilities to get around LA.

lawhawk said...

As for why Jack didn't call anyone else in - he simply doesn't know who to trust, and he's already gotten jiggy with Audrey, he figures he can trust her.

tuffbeingright said...

The bank manager is going to bite it. He might as well be wearing a red shirt...

FIAR said...

The rent-a-terrorist team showed up. Plenty of expendables for what's to come.

kdeweb said...

Oh Wayne, Wayne, Wayne. New boy must be brought up to speed. Jack won't be taken into custody. Silly Wayne!

FIAR said...

No, Jack! YOU need to do the killin', not the cops.

tuffbeingright said...

Sweet! LA Cops are going to respond to a bank silent alarm. The smart ones will remember North Hollywood and stay at The Doughnut Farm.

tuffbeingright said...

You're a Philly detective???

Holy shit. No wonder your pen name is Wyatt.

Little Miss Chatterbox said...

President Logan & Martha kissing--ick, ick, ick.........

Is Mizerock serious???

tuffbeingright said...

4 and a half minutes left. Here comes the lead!

Just like last week.

Tyler D. said...

Heh, I love the "bondish" music they keep playing.

lawhawk said...

Who changed the music? Or has the Sentinel taken over?

tuffbeingright said...

LA cops always show up to a party undergunned...

tuffbeingright said...

The humnan sheild... er bank manager is dead. Who would have guessed?

lawhawk said...

Dammnabit. Too many KIA in that last 30 seconds to keep track. But that was huge.

Oh, but the bank dude is quite dead.

kdeweb said...

Best tickdown EVER!

tuffbeingright said...

That's it. POTUS is going down like a sorority girl...

FIAR said...

"Who changed the music?"

I was gonna ask that myself

kdeweb said...

Next week is gonna rawk! Heller takes charge!

FIAR said...

Next week: Ted Kennedy vs. Howard Dean. Who's Nuttier?

tuffbeingright said...

Wyatt said:

>>"Taking down the President of the United States." Every liberal jackass' dream!

OK, but the way POTUS is handling the newest 'el constituancy', I'm not too happy with him either....

The Man said...

2 EMTs
5 Bad Guys
2 Cops
1 Bank Manager

1 24 Music producer who thought it would be funny to insert James Bond music in the show.

FIAR said...

Heh. 'el constituancy'

The Man said...

I told you guys the 9-year old was a mole. She led Henderson right to her.

Did he kill them?

Little Miss Chatterbox said...

Heller is back!! Wahoo!!!!!!!

The Man said...

I guess Heller's other show got cancelled...

Anonymous said...

why didnt jack call chloe and play the recording?
dosnt make sense...

Ryan P said...

Jack should give the recording to Dan Rather and Mary Mappes. That way, he won't have to waste valuable time in trying to verify it's authenticity.

MJ06 said...

Live Blogging this week was about 100% better then it was last week but thats not meant to be insulting because last week they gave nothing to work with.

Wyatt Earp said...

MJ06 - Thanks!

Tuff - I'm not happy with GWB much, either.

Mizerock - It was a joke. Chill out! Did you read what I do for a living?

Anonymous said...

Littler known fact...George W. asked for a purple heart for
drinking above the call of duty during his "service"

tw111 said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
tw111 said...

Anonymous, Re ' little known fact ':

There's a reason for that: the above contains little or no[sic] fact.

Just sayin'.