Sunday, April 02, 2006
"JACK BAUER IS A DEMOCRAT?"
I saw it here and did a double take. The outrage! The scandal! The sheer effrontery of the idea!
I apologize to any Democrats who have accidentally wandered into this den of iniquity, but even a real Democrat has got to know that Jack Bauer woud rather be caught kissing President Jellyfish's ass than being identified with that political party of wimps, whiners, wangers, wingnuts, and whatchamacallits.
Jack eats Democrats for breakfast and uses their bones to pick his teeth.
Jack tortured a Democrat once. He stopped because he doesn't like jello (everyone knows Jack is a pudding man).
Jack dated a Democrat for a while. He broke it off when she told him that she thought a Glock was a musical instrument.
I'm sure you folks can do a lot better than this. Give us your best shot in the comments.