Carnival of Bauer

Blog Archive








Add to Google




24 Fanatic

Forums4Bauer

Wednesday, April 19, 2006



What better way to reign in the White House Press Corps than to install Jack Bauer as Press Secretary? Let's see if David Gregory has the guts to ask Jack Bauer about "sloppy seconds".

Top 10 Changes Jack Bauer Would Bring to the White House Press Corps
10. Positive stories about Bush increase 145% in his first hour alone.
9. Five moles weeded out of press corps by Bauer.
8. Ask a stupid question; get hooked up to the sensory deprivation device.
7. Podium replaced with bullet-proof barrier with gun ports.
6. All press conferences last an hour, with all tough questions coming at 45 minutes past the hour.
5. By the end of a press conference, a minimum of 34 people would have been killed.
4. "No comment" replaced by "We don't have time for that question".
3.
Gary Bauer mistakenly showed up to a press conference, once.
2. All comments will be yelled.
1.
Blogs4Bauer starts to live-blogs press conferences.

Do you have more ideas on what Bauer could bring to the White House Press Corps? Post them in the comments below.

(More at some other site)

9 comments:

NDwalters said...

Jack Bauer as Press Secretary, Jeezus, that would rock.

He sees a lib reporter that looks like Nina Myers and just shoots a whole clip into her. Then says- "That was my ex-partner. Killed my wife..." All nod in agreement, sweating bullets.

Anonymous said...

That could lead a Henderson-type to nerve gas the whole DC Press Corp. Of course, Jack would survive. The nation would be indebted to the terrorists.

sonicfrog said...

He would have the job for at least three more years:-)

Little Miss Chatterbox said...

We can only dream!!!!!!!!

kdeweb said...

Jack Bauer would eliminate all bias from the lefty leaning WH press corps. If it wasn't factual, Jack would penalize (make Swiss cheese out of) all offenders.

Misha I said...

A hacksaw would be added to the seal on the front of the podium.

NEO, SOC said...

Way too funny. New interrogation style:

Load all the ULSRs, libs and communists on the left onto a C10 and fly somewhere in the middle of the Pacific with 1/4 of total fuel remaining and parachute out to a designated area where there would be a nice COMET 65 cruising sailing-yacht drifting with the rest of CTU waiting for Jack Bauer with a nice cold beer for a needed job well done. Oh yeah!

Anonymous said...

Wonderful and informative web site. I used information from that site its great. » » »

Anonymous said...

canada goose jackets sale online Denmark Canada, UK,
goose trillium parka jackets womens online sale Denmark Canada, UK,
goose freestyle vest sale online sale Denmark Canada, UK,
Goose Chilliwack Bomber online sale Denmark Canada, UK,
Canada Goose Mens Citadel coats online sale Denmark Canada, UK,
Canada Goose Expedition Parka sale online sale Denmark Canada, UK,
canada goose snow mantra parka Jackets online sale Denmark Canada, UK,
Canada Goose Yorkville Parka online sale Denmark Canada, UK,
Canada Goose Womens Chilliwack Parka online sale Denmark Canada, UK,
Canada Goose Womens Expedition Parka online sale Denmark Canada, UK,
Canada Goose Womens Kensington Parka online sale Denmark Canada, UK,
womens Goose Montebello Parka online sale Denmark Canada, UK,
womens Goose Solaris Parka online sale Denmark Canada, UK.