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Sunday, March 04, 2007

Milo Pressman's Shooting Academy

Hello. My name is Milo Pressman, and I am the Internet Protocol Manager for CTU: Los Angeles. When I am not chastising CTU Security for surfing, well, dubious internet sites, I am keeping CTU running like my well-oiled hair. Sure, some people laud insurgents like Jack Bauer for his occasional lucky break, but it's the techno-weenies like me who are the real brains behind this outfit.

Recently, I was involved in a wild shootout with several highly-trained, well-armed men. It was me against the world, and I came out on top with little more than a gunshot wound to the arm - a scratch, really. Afterwards, while I was contemplating my bravery and heroism, I decided that my shooting skills could benefit those less fortunate and talented than I am.

And that is why I have created Milo Pressman's Shooting Academy. Like the name? I think it's quite catchy. At the Milo Pressman Shooting Academy, you will learn all the basics of good marksmanship. Posture, breathing, trigger pull, and hair care. I mean, you can't take out targets while worrying about split ends, right? In just fifteen weeks, my professional and courteous staff will have you shooting like a pro, and looking fabulous while you do it.

Give our operators a call at 1-800-AIM-MILO, and you'll be on your way to a better shot in no time.

The Milo Pressman Shooting Academy: Because it's better to look good, than to shoot good.


Anonymous said...

Mr. Milo I have a question!!!

Why did you toss a single grenade into a box of grenades instead of throwing said grenade at the bad guys?

Anonymous said...

The Man - All your questions will be answered with your $500 Academy entry fee.

Milo Pressman

steveegg said...

Er, Milo. Doesn't getting winged sort of mess up the good looks? The whole purpose of shooting is to mess up the other guy's good looks, not yours.

I assume you want that check made out to "cash".

Anonymous said...


You are a no-talent ass clown.

Anonymous said...

milo please keep your shirt off. thank you.