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Thursday, March 15, 2007

Miss Blogs4Bauer Contest - Round 1

Ryan Seacrest's reign of terror is over. The Shat is back! And, between you and me, that Mandy is one real go-getter. She saw a hot lesbian, and she would go get her! She saw another, and she would go get her! It almost made the Shat Master 2000 question his masculinity . . . but I digress.

Last week's contest was a slugfest, and after a runoff vote, Teri Bauer barely outran the delicious Collette Stenger, 51% to 49%. Wow, losing to a dead woman, were the Chicago and Philadelphia Democrats the only ones voting?

Click Here for an updated bracket.

The next match up will be posted next Monday (3/26) will be Marilyn Bauer against Jenny McGill.

Here is this week's tale of the tape:

Name: Dina Araz.
Status: Worm food.
Occupation: Terrorist housewife.
Strengths: Diabolical, maniacal, murdered her son's American girlfriend.
Weaknesses: Love for her pansy son got her killed.
Curious detail: She poisoned her son's girlfriend without blinking an eye, but didn't have the grapes to pull the trigger on Jack Bauer.

Name: Nadia Yassir.
Status: Yummy.
Occupation: CTU's Token Muslim.
Strengths: Stern, solemn, never shows cleavage.
Weaknesses: Liberal hippie tendencies, easily manipulated, never shows cleavage.
Curious Detail: Has never smiled. Not once. Not even after watching Family Guy.

Who should move on?

Dina Araz

Nadia Yassir

Click Here for Results


Anonymous said...

Nadia is a Republican even though those Jackbooted neothugs are trying to listen to her phonecalls and draft her little brother to serve in a homophobic army in a war we were drawn into by a lying liar who was never elected, in fact he was behind the assination of President Palmer

steveegg said...

Why couldn't this matchup have waited until next week, when we figure out who the mole's scapegoat is?

yankz said...

I'm glad to see Nadia has a healthy lead. She's my dark horse pick, even if she is the 4 seed.

Bob Engler said...

WTF? Nadia is even less of a minor character than Collette Skanker! Unless she steps up as the mole, but who's going to vote for her then? I'll tell you who: all the testosterone-maddened bonerz who advanced Mandy Whateverthehell her name is over Sherry "Lady Macbeth" Palmer. Oi.

Dina, on the other hand. Talk about a MILF. And for all of her murderous treachery, she stepped up at the end and tried to save Jack by trying to shoot Marwan with the pistol he'd given her to kill our hero.

OK. So G-2 isn't her long suit -- who didn't see the empty-pistol loyalty test coming from a mile away -- but WTF has Awana done to deserve advancing in the contest?

I'm Behrooz Araz, and I authorized this message.

TheJackSack said...

I voted for Nadia but Dina is probably the girl I'd try to score with first- she's passionate and a little crazy. Nadia probably stores her socks in Ziplock bags. She's hot as a junebug in July, but she's been completely without any sexual tension whatsoever. Mandy will eat Nadia alive.

steveegg said...

Mandy will eat Nadia alive.

If that doesn't push The Token over the top, nothing will.

Anonymous said...

I believe that Nadia is the first character in the show to be explicitly named as a Republican. (it's clearly assumed that Keeler/Logan/Heller are, but I don't think they ever actually said it) That's enough for me.

steveegg said...

When are we closing this one?

Bob Engler said...

>Mandy will eat Nadia alive.<

As much as I'd pay to see that, Mandy gets Kim in the second round and there's not much chance she's going to gobble up the well endowed imbecile.

Anyway, so long, Dina. First you get killed by a terrorist, then you get eliminated by a mole (well, maybe ... and didn't Awana look a little manish while Ricky was slapping her around?). allah akbar that, m'dear.

yankz said...

I'm voting for Kim, but I'm sensing a lot of anti-Kim/pro-Mandy sentiment around here, especially after the way their first rounds went. Kim won by a mere 10 votes, remember.

I'm thinking the top seed is upset next round. Much to my dismay.