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Tuesday, April 04, 2006


No...not Needlenose Audrey's proboscis. It's what's as plain as. As in an explanation that covers the transformation of President Jellyfish from wimp to power-mad tyrant.

It is fairly obvious most of our readers do not follow soap operas closely. If you did, you would recognize the signs of split personality immediately. In truth, Logan's wimpy side is completely unaware of what his Ghengis Khan side is up to. This plot device in soaps is usually reserved for the mistress of the main character who plays the shy, retiring type by day but by night, turns into a combination of Sharon Stone and Mata Hari. Needless to say, the left breast doesn't know what the right breast has been up to which makes for some hilarious confusion.

Speaking of confusion, here's a somewhat incoherent albeit shorter than usual update from yours truly. A sample:

Then, through the swirling smoke and back-lit gas works, a figure emerges carrying someone. It's Jack and he has Bierko slung over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. Dropping the terrorist on the ground at Curtis's feet like a trophy buck from a deer hunt, Jack screams into Bierko's face trying to wake him. The terrorist is either too injured or too terrified to answer so Jack orders him transferred to CTU medical so that he can be patched up for his little session to come with Richard and his little black bag of truth serum.

In the meantime, Jack is doing some thinking. He figures Henderson, the poor misguided patriot that he is, would never kill 200,000 of his fellow citizens. Hence, since his ex-friend was protecting someone big and important (so big he allowed his wife to get shot in the thigh by Jack in fear of revealing the name) Jack reasons that the plot extends into the highest reaches of the United States government. In his conversation with Bill about this turn of events, Jack lets on that he's scared.

If Jack is scared, it's time to pack up the wife and kids and move to Montana to join a survivalist cult.

1 comment:

NDwalters said...

(Cartman voice)

Her nose is huge, man. Big as Barbara Streis-ands.


Yeah, you could land Stealth Bom-bers on that shnoz.

(Kenny muffled)

(Cartman) Ewww, you're sick man!